My Liberal Diary

Thank you @Yard Dart , She has.

 

Day 224, My Liberal Diary
When I was a kid, I trusted the news on television. Walter Cronkite would speak to everyone and you could hear the truth in his words. He was not a glamor guy, he was a balding middle-aged man that spoke with quiet authority and a deep caring and understanding of the tragedies that were happening around the world. He reported it with no bull-shit, no sales, no marketing, no agenda, just the news. Reporting the news was not about him, it was about informing his fellow American citizen, his neighbor, his family. There were no commercials during his news broadcasts. His wife probably washed, dried and ironed his suits each day for him to wear and I'll bet he only owned one or two neck-ties. He did not offer opinion nor did he lead his audience towards any conclusion based on a personal or political agenda. Entertainment that followed was Gun Smoke, where Marshal Dillon, his deputy Chester, Miss Kitty, Doc, would preserve law with honor in their town. Lucy and Ricky would make us laugh as Ethal used a pair of sissors to cut the spaggetti hanging from Lucy's mouth as she gawked at one of Ricky's movie star buddies across the restaraunt . Honey, I'm Home! My name is Joe Friday. The one armed man did it. Roll em Roll em Roll em, Keep them doggies rollin, Rawhide...
Well, for real country sausage, the best you ever tried, look for me on the label of Tennessee Pride...Hey What's cooking at the Kelly's Somethings cookin at the Kelly's and it smells so very Irish, smells so good, good, good...Lady, Please don't squeeze the Charmin. Bic pens were fired from a rifle through a board and would still write.
Then Walter Cronkite and the 10:00 news would come on and after that, the TV would go to the Indian test pattern screen for the night.
Cartoon Bears didn't wipe their ass with dingle-berry proof toilet paper, Lawyers didn't advertise that they would sue anyone for anything for you and win, No family member was asked what they thought about it when their loved ones were murdered by a maniac with an ax. Nobody on the street was asked their opinion when the police gunned down an armed thug just because he was a negro. I do not watch television any more because we have come to believe that a by-stander's opinion matters and we have to be entertained. Hurricanes sell more advertising than the Super Bowl, 24 hours of just look what could happen, what do think about that sir? How do you "feel" about all this wind and rain? Should the government do more to protect us from storms? Don't forget to buy Tampons and dingle-berry proof toilet paper. Viva Viagra, get ready for the Hurricane celebration. Ask your Doctor or Pharmacist if Halitosidol is right for you, side effects may include stomach pain, bleeding from the anus, brain tumor, seizures, and pimples on your butt. If you or a loved one has suffered from any side effects from taking this medication, you may be entitled to a huge cash settlement. Today's capture of 25 tons of Colombian cocaine has raised the price of eight-balls from $120.00 to $125.00, according to Dow Jones, at least in middle America regions such as Nebraska. An assault rifle has gunned down 12 more innocent children dealing drugs in Chicago and is holding the owner hostage inside a 7-11 along with 4 holiday shoppers while the BATFE negociates with it for their release. ANd that it today's News, Good Nite.

 

Day 225, My Liberal Diary
I haven't written in a few days, mostly because I have spent most of them underwater, cutting steel H-beams with an exothermic torch. Ten years ago, I didn't mind doing this so much but I have gotten old enough that now my body protests in ways that I find difficult to ignore. I get cold easier and my arthritis is telling me that I should confine my in-water time to a warm bath-tub or whirlpool. I tend to agree. My frontal sinus lobe has a small tumor near my optic nerve and doesn't clear as easiiy as it used to so there is generally a lot of blood and mucus inside my diving helmet when I surface. I was so hypothermic yesterday when I finished my work, that I couldn't hold a cup of coffee to drink it, I was shaking so badly. I warmed myself by going down into the engine room and hugging the exhaust on the generator until I quit shaking, had a couple bowls of hot soup, put my helmet back on and jumped back into the water to complete the job. I don't dive much any more, being the Diving Supervisor, I generally rely on the younger seamonkeys to do the actual work on the dumb end of the hose but thanks to that damned Trump, every diver that I know is already working except for the two on my company payroll and neither one of them know how to burn steel underwater so that only leaves me. Just a few short months ago, I had divers calling me every day looking for work. They were willing to paint fences, mow the lawn, build tree houses, but now they are all back gainfully employed in their chosen profession and I have to do the grunt work instead of supervising them and watching them on a video camera. I am not complaining, it is nice to have paying jobs to be doing but the economy has sucked so badly for the past several years that most of divers in the Gulf of Mexico that were working as insurance salesmen and Walmart Greeters, are now back to work and that has proven to be a two-edged sword.

 

Day 226, My Liberal Diary
My friends don't talk to me any more since I have became a liberal. I suppose they think I will ask them for donations or maybe I'll stick a rainbow bumper-sticker on their SUV. I should let you know that it's really not anything like "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" around here. My wife, the Right-wanger, still limits her conversation pretty much to facts rather than ineuendo and supposition even if I tried to debate Global warming and social reform, she'll always be there to remind me that someone has to pay for it, regardless of how warm and fuzzy it sounds. And I still can't get on board with the liberal gun control thing. I just do not see the NRA as being nearly the political monster that we have created with BLM and the other "Special" Interest groups we have supported. I freely admit to preferring "Merry Christmas" to "Season's Greetings". I have read way too much actual history to buy into the War of Northern Aggression being only about slavery and being a Southerner, just don't understand why we waste so much energy trying to re-write history rather than trying to change the future? Tearing down a statue isn't going to stop racism, neither is burning down a city, General Sherman tried that and it still sucks 154 years later.

 

Day 227, My Liberal Diary
Well, I must say that Obama Care has made some pretty dramatic changes in my Health Insurance. Since my premiums have tripled, they no longer pay for eye examinations so there went another big chunk of money that my insurance used to pay. I have a benign tumor near my optic nerve that causes severe headaches and dizziness and formerly, my insurance would have paid to have it removed but now they only pay a portion of an annual MRI to monitor it to see if it is going to grow into something that needs to be preserved for science. I went to the Doctor yesterday because of a bleeding hemorrhoid and got a prescription for $20 a piece suppositories to shove up my ass twice a day that the insurance company doesn't pay for either so I guess between the tumor and the hemorrhoid, they can deny coverage of both ends and probably think that without glasses, I won't notice it. So I now spend over $12,000.00 a year for insurance that doesn't really pay for anything that I actually need. I wonder if they pay for terminal stupidity?

 

I pray for your tumor to go away.
The other one, I feel your pain, Preparation H is your friend!

 

Day 228, My Liberal Diary
We are under a winter storm warning. In South Alabama, that means that it is raining and cold and people are not in a good mood so they drive even worse than usual. I was driving down Airport Blvd. towards Harbor Freight to pick up a few supplies for a project we are preparing for, it was rush hour. Horns are blaring, people are giving each other the one finger salute. Blue and red lights are flashing on vehicles running red lights going to some fender-bender and my cell phone rings. I hit the blue-tooth and get a computer from Prime Specialty Pharmacy telling me that they have an important message for "Darrell Wallace", if this is "Darrell Wallace", please press 1. I pressed 1. The computer then asked me if I would like to refill my prescription for Ortezla at this time, press 1 for yes or two for no. I pressed 2. The computer asked me if I was sure that I didn't want to fill my prescription at this time? They would not want me to miss a dosage of my medication. If I wished to fill my prescription at this time, please press 1; I disconnected the phone and narrowly avoided being ran over by an ambulance that decided to cross into oncoming traffic to make a left turn during a red light in a rush to rescue a Soccer-mom shopper that was having an anxiety attack because a Buick rear-ended her Porsche SUV. Prime Specialty Pharmacy's computer called right back and asked me again to press 1 if I wanted to fill my prescription at this time so I gave up and pressed 1. "Please hold while we direct you to the next available representative" then some really loud and annoying hip hop muzak that lasted until I reached Harbor Freight and found a parking spot.
"Thank you for calling Prime Specialty Pharmacy, How may I help you?" asked a pleasant sounding woman.
I didn't call you, you guys called me. I assume it it because you want to fill my Ortezla prescription, because that is what you computer said."
"What is you name, sir?" she asked me.
"Why didn't your computer tell you who it called?" I asked her.
"Is this Mr. Darrell Wallace?" She asked.
"Yes, It is."
"Can you tell me your birth date?"
"You guys always ask me that. You have been filling this prescription for me now for nearly three years and have asked me what my birthday is every single time and I haven't even gotten a card. I am guessing that you are not planning a surprise party and want to know when to order the cake?"
"No Sir; We need to verify that this is Darrell Wallace"
"Which one of us do you not believe, me or your computer?"
"Mr. Wallace, is your birthday January 12th, 1956?"
"Yes! You are planning a surprise party, aren't you?"
"No Sir, but I hope you have a pleasant birthday."
"Thank You, how may I help you?
"Our records show that it is time to refill your prescription for Ortezla, do you know how many doses that you have remaining?
"I do not, but I will bet that since you guys call me every 30 days to send me a 30 day supply, that I am getting pretty close to running out of them, if I am taking them per directions."
"What is the address to ship them to?"
"Please send them to the same address that you always send them to"
"Would you mind verifying that address please? " Now 'she is starting to sound a little less pleasant but I am assuming it is because of the nasty weather.
"Sure, I'll be glad to. Where do you usually send it?" I asked.
""Mr. Wallace, we have to ask these questions to verify that it is in fact you that has called us to refill your prescription." She is beginning to sound a tiny bit exasperated.
"But I already told you that I didn't call you. You called me and it is really shitty weather here. People are running over each other in a rush to get home from work or shopping, I need to go into Harbor Freight and buy some come-a-longs and counter-sinks, maybe a couple of lining bars, oh...and an 18" long arbor bit and you are asking me all these questions that you already know the answers to. My insurance pays you $1100.00 a month to fill that stupid sixty pills each month so I know that you are not going to hang up on me the way I did on your computer that called me back even though I tried to explain to it that I was really busy and maybe, just maybe it could call back at a more convenient time, but no and now I find out that you aren't even going to send me a birthday card."
She sounds like she is in tears now and asks if I would like to speak to her manager? "No thank you, I'll call back tomorrow when I have time to jump through these hoops. May I have your name and extension? What is you Birth Date? "
"Thank you for calling Prime Specialty Pharmacy/" I guess she didn't want me to send her a birthday card.

 

Day 229, My Liberal Diary
The winter storm continues throughout South Alabama and the Gulf Coast. It rained all day and was cold. The way that I can tell this is not a Fall, Spring or Summer South Alabama storm is that it is at least twenty degrees cooler, with a high today of only 50 something. I realize that my northern friends are scoffing at this but we really prefer the lower extreme of our temperatures to be in the low 70s with an occasional dip into the frosty 50s at night but only during the last week of January please. The leaves are even falling off some of the trees around here now and I hear that we may actually drop below freezing tonight and get to witness ice in a form other than commonly experienced in Jack Daniels. There were news reports of actual snow flurries in Hattisburg and Montgomery but that is about a hundred miles north of here. All the local TV News stations sent reporters there to witness the automobiles sliding into one another and feature amateur snowmen creations and the very rare Alabama snowball fight. I broke my rule about not watching television for this event, it is not often that I see groups of people gathering handfuls of snow from windshields and pooling them to make a snowball to throw at the car sliding by them. It is a winter wonderland and I am dreaming of a white Christmas. White sand, warm white sand, blue water, sunshine and those little white string bikinis on tanned bodies...You damned Yankees can have this winter storm crap.

 

Day 230, My Liberal Diary
Well the great blizzard of 2017 is over now and we survived here in Mobile, Alabama. I am amazed at how such a disaster brings people together. Just last night, I witnessed two redneck racists with NRA bumper stickers on their pickup truck, helping a woman of color extract her Prius from the ditch alongside Dauphin Island Parkway with a rope and couldn't help but wonder if she was afraid they intended to hang her from a tree once they got her unstuck? I won't pretend that it was easy to survive drifts of up to 6/10ths of an inch of snow in places, especially with temperatures actually being low enough to freeze ice in some bird fountains, but we Southerners are a hearty people and will eventually recover and rebuild. I can't help but wonder where is FEMA? Why hasn't our Government gotten here yet to deal with all the crushed fenders on Airport Blvd.? Funds should be available for people experiencing post-blizzard trauma. The Army Corps of Engineers should be sending hordes of plumbers to repair frozen water pipes. My citrus trees are drooping! We didn't ask for this extreme Northern weather but it got here anyway. I just hope they do a better job of reconstruction this time than they did in 1865.

 

Yes, Very traumatic for us, But we continue to strive to persevere!

 

Day 231, My Liberal Diary
I wish we had fought a war for the independence of colored people, a war to free the slaves. I would have fought for their freedom because I believe in freedom and cherish it beyond all other things. We would have won that war and the Blacks would proudly celebrate their Independence Day and we would all honor those that gave their lives to free their fellow man and we would rejoice in the Freedom and equality won from the bonds of slavery. We all would be proud that we stood and risked our lives and fortunes for that noble cause and God would smile upon us.Yes, the Civil War resulted in the abolition of slavery and was used as a rallying point with some Northern Abolitionists towards the end of the war but it was never a central issue, just another means of penalizing the agri-based South. Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation only freed the slaves in the thirteen States that declared secession from the Union and in fact, slave auctions were conducted within a few blocks of the White-House even after the surrender at Appomattox. Northern Armies captured Southern Slaves and used them just as they did mules and garden vegetables. There was no nobility there. The abolition of slavery was attached to the Civil War like a tick to a dog and even though it resulted in sort of a freedom from slavery, it created a new form of indentured servitude that still resides in dark corners everywhere. If we had fought a war for the freedom of man from Slavery, then the victory and the Freedom it represented would have elevated a people with pride and not obscured their sacrifice with politically correct rewritten history.
The American Revolutionary War was not a revolution; it was a war of secession. We had no intention of over-throwing England, doing away with their Monarchy, occupying London. We just wanted out of the British Empire. The United States had become so indebted to European Banks that huge tariffs were imposed on all imported goods to help pay those debts. The North was very industrialized and manufactured most of their needs but the South, blessed with a longer growing season, was more agriculture based and relied heavily on importing most of their needs. The South was paying a much higher percentage of the revenue collected by the Federal Government but because of the greater population density in the North, the North was getting most of the benefits from that revenue. That is why so many of the Southern States decided they wanted to leave the Union; it wasn't about slavery. Lincoln knew that the European Bankers were waiting on the side-lines to pick the bones of our country, if our Union dissolved or rather, defaulted on our debts. He could not allow the States to leave the Union and thereby take with them the lion's share of the revenue being collected to pay that debt. It wasn't until 1864, at a low point in the war, that emancipation even became a serious issue and only then as a political ploy to garner support of a faction of the population that were about to say "piss on this, let's just let them leave". The right to secede the Union is specifically mentioned in our Constitution. New York State and Virginia refused to ratify the Constitution unless it was. Lincoln is not the kind, benevolent emancipator that history has painted. He was not even liked by most of the North, especially after the War. His widow was ostracized and had to sue congress for widow's benefits, after having been committed to an asylum by her son. Reconstruction in the South was nothing but a bunch of plunderers, looting and taking whatever spoils of war left behind and the scars are deep, so deep in fact, that 150 years later, we still feel them here. If Slavery had not ridden the back of that war like a tick on a dog, a war would have been fought purely for emancipation, and with it would have been won glory and pride and honor. By stating that a war of secession, constitutionally supported, supported by American precedent, was fought over slavery, is a dishonor and a discredit to truth, history, and Freedom.

 

Day 232, My Liberal Diary
Today, I bought approximately one cubic ft. of air or about 2 pounds per square inch inside an automobile tire. I gave $1.50 for it at a gasoline station. It struck me as strange, that I would work for a currency to purchase air on a planet surrounded by it. When I was a young man, if you stopped at a gasoline station to purchase .28 a gallon gasoline, it was pumped by a uniformed fellow that washed your windshield, checked to oil in your engine, brake fluid and coolant levels and the air pressure in your tires and filled them from a hose between the gas pumps while you walked inside the station to say hello to the owner and maybe enjoy a coke and a bag of salted peanuts. This service was why gasoline stations were called "Service" stations. It was a free service even if you only bought a dollar's worth of gasoline or less and that was how the small business owner insured your return business. You could get a flat fixed there while you waited and if you had problems that required a bit more time than you had, the owner would drive you home while your car was being repaired. I worked at a grocery store, bagging groceries and carrying them out to the person's car and carefully placeing them inside, ever so careful not to crush the store-bought bread or break their eggs. I was paid to do this because the owner of the store wanted his customers to appreciate doing business with him and do their weekly shopping at his store. WHen a neighbor was ill or injured, someone from the chruch would stop by with a pot roast to drop off, just to check to see if you were doing alright. My sister earned money baby-sitting children of our parent's friends and co-workers. They knew that she was responsible and resourceful enough to watch over their children when they had to be away for work or even just enjoy an evening out with grown-ups. Sometimes, we would gather at a neighbor's house, with hammers, ladders, nail aprons and by the end of the day, they would have new shingles on their roof and burgers would be on the grill. These were not spontaneous event; the need was present and we cared enough to ask if we could help. It wasn't about money, it was about helping someone that you knew would also come to your aid if needed, not as a trade but just because you were neighbors. What happened?

 

Day 233, My Liberal Diary
I have been very busy this week, driving each morning to Pensacola before daylight, pounding steel pilings each day across Pensacola Bay and driving back to Mobile after dark. I haven't had a break in this routine for a few weeks. I am not complaining about it because it is something I need to do for a number of people that depend on me for their livelyhood. When I came in from work on Friday, I slept a few hours then drove from Mobile to Jackson, Tennessee to have a Holiday visit with my family. I had lunch with my Father, brothers, sister, Aunt, cousins, nieces, nephews and a bunch of children that I assume belong to them but I am not real sure which kids belong to who. There was this one ten year old that my sister, a retired Police Lieutenent, said had aged her 40 years. I liked that kid. All my life, I have been one year and five days older than my sister and it pleases me greatly to find out that she now is 38 years 360 days older than me. There were some great cookies with lots of fresh nuts but I only got one because when I went back for a second one, they were all gone. That ten year old was standing by the cookies, eating carrots dipped in something white and I asked him if he had eaten all those cookies with nuts? He said "No Sir, I ate all the broccolli.". I like that kid; He added 40 years to Belinda and ate all the broccolli! I think I will send him a gun for Christmas.
I left my dad's house and went to visit my mother. She recently lost her husband, sold her house in Orlando and moved to Blue Goose, Tennessee, just off Luray Road. If you don't know where Blue Goose or Luray is, don't ask my sister, the retired policeman for directions. I can best describe their locations by saying that if you stand to pee from either place you can definately piss on the middle of no-where and have to be careful not to splatter your shoes. That's my mom. She likes her solitude and quiet and I suppose that I took after her. My parents had issues that they couldn't resolve when I was a child. Sometimes this was very difficult for their children to accept or understand and it is rare that we all gather together or at least it has been in the past, but I now believe that the importance of family has proven greater than what this modern day society seems to think is required. We visited my favorite Uncle and Aunt and had such a pleasent evening. I had only 24 hours to spend in Tennessee so I left this morning after stopping to have breakfast in Selmer with My wife. the right-wanger's father and driving back to Mobile. A few hours visiting with family hardly seems worth hours and hours of driving through winter weather if you are one of those folks that tend to value things in quantity. Quantity isn't so important to me but the smiles and memories and love of my family will keep me going for a long time now and I am a happy man. God Bless you all and Merry Christmas.

 

Day 234, My Liberal Diary
Christmas was more than I expected. I received a pair of furry Sasquatch house shoes complete with claws as a gift from my darling wife, the right-wanger. We grilled steaks and had a few drinks and now it's time to go back to work. I didn't bother to give money to the charities that I usually contribute to this year because of all the taxes that I have to pay that are distributed to my liberal brothers and sisters that don't see a need to work a real job. I realize that it isn't voluntary or given from the heart, but it's taken none the less and maybe I feel a tiny more generous when I see Darnell reaching into the pockets below his knees to pull a fiver or two out for the bell ringers. OK, I did drop a twenty into the pot in Selmer, TN Saturday for some firemen that were collecting money to help out a bit, but I always have had a soft spot for people that actually work and put their lives on the line for their neighbors. I gave gifts of jars of fruit fermented in Brandy. I made a churn full back during the summer just for this purpose and it was well received by those that got to try it over some ice cream. Did I mention that I have to return to work? I really wanted to take the rest of the year off and spend it scaring deer away with my rifle but since someone has to pay the bills and nobody else is likely to volunteer, it's back to work I go. I still haven't figured out the formula. I apparently make too much money to qualify for the subsidies that would let me stop working so I could make less money and get free stuff. That is not logical.

 

Day 235, My Liberal Diary
I just got in from work in Pensacola and Jimi gave up on me, had her dinner and was asleep by the time I completed my regress from employment. I spent most of the day reassuring myself that the temporary repairs I made to our Manatiwoc crane would suffice to allow me to complete a pile driving project I am doing in Pensacola Bay. Work begins well before daylight and tonight is typical of the ending so I am not finding much time to interact with my dear wife and I miss her. I did take two days at Christmas off to visit my family in Tennessee and here in Mobile. My dogs were relieved to find out that I still knew the importance of chasing cats and Jimi bought me a Christmas gift that I have been wanting 30 years, a pair of furry Sasquatch-feet house slippers. I would have been way too embarrassed to purchase them myself but have wanted a pair since I first saw them in a movie three decades ago. I now have happy feet and a little Sasquatch dance that I do to amuse myself while wearing my slippers, plaid pajamas and moose base-ball cap. My puppies are asleep, my wife is asleep, I just got in from a very long and tiring day on the water and am having a sip of Knob Creek Bourbon while sitting here in my Sasquatch slippers, wearing a hat with an antlered moose on top, and thinking that life is pretty good. I am not very successful as a liberal but I can do a major repair on a crane while continuing forward movement towards completing my project on schedule, haven't pissed anybody off yet, and still come home every night to watch my puppies and wife sleeping after an exhausting day spent watching Judge Judy on TV. I think I'll have a second Knob Creek before falling asleep for 4 hours before I have to get up and drive back to Pensacola. I wonder if I would have to work for a living if Hillary had been elected? Ok, that's a trick question, like anyone would have had a job if she had gotten elected.

 

Day 236, My Liberal Diary
As I sit here this eatop the skull-cap venin contemplating the final words I shall record from the year 2017 on paper tomorrow, the Eve of the New Year. I was wishing for something more profound , given my new intellectually superior liberal inclinations, than the matter of a simple mystery. Some years ago, a silly baseball cap with a deer with cloth antlers atop the skull-cap, showed up in my gun room and I assumed it was a gag from my wife, the right-wanger. I have taken to wearing it each holiday season because I sort of liked it and it makes me laugh. Tonight, Jimi asked me where I got it? I told her that I thought she had given it to me years ago but she said that she didn't . I asked if it maybe belonged to one of our children but after some careful character analysis, decided that was highly unlikely. It is a very old deer or moose or whatever it is supposed to be; probably imported from Pakistan in the 1970s. It has ocaissionally been a toy for the dogs, a poster for an M79 Grenade launcher, a trophy wall-hanging in a shanty-boat above a lever-action rifle, a target for teaching my grandson how to shoot a BB gun, and something that gives me comfort like mashed potatoes when I need to sit and write late at night. We now believe the silly deer-hat provenance to have been a gift from James Junior Smith to Constance Smith; a cold blooded animal killer to a person that thought hunting and killing animals to be a crude, primitive practice, not worthy of the Smith name, and given as a blatant taunt. We could also look upon this provenance as a typical example of a Liberal being deliberately baited by a right-wing Bambi killer: Except that Constance is not a Liberal by any stretch of the imagination, but she could pass unless you ever got a telephone call from her from a jail cell filled with colored people at two o'clock in the morning, She's married to the Admiral now so we don't want to talk about it.
I suppose that in defense of my dignity, I should mention my missing house shoe before the right-wanger does. First, let me say that I was depressed by the unexplained loss and I did mount a diligent search of the residence, including the back yard and refrigerator and I may have mentioned the possibility of a demented burglar and possibly posting a picture and the offer of a small reward down at Greer's store ( it did work to find the missing wienerdog once). OK, I was looking forward all day to coming home, getting a steamy hot shower, putting on some soft flannel pajamas and my furry Sasquatch house shoes, maybe having a sip of good whiskey and playing my guitar a bit. One of them was missing and there was p bits of stuffing from something that one of puppies might have chewed up lying on the floor. I might have falsely accused my dobermon, Maggie, of having taken my shoe outside and send her out to look for it. I just couldn't imagine anyone except the most desperate Liberal, ever breaking into my house to steal a single Sasquatch shoe but there are some demented souls out there. The resolution finally came when I changed the light-bulb in our laundry room and my wife, the right-wanger, discovered that she had picked my shoe up with my dirty clothes and deposited in the laundry. I never suspected this was a deliberate action on her part, meant to upset my delicate sensibilities and therefore offer no apologies for anything that I might have said or implied during this crucial search and rescue mission.