My Liberal Diary

Day 275, My Liberal Diary
When I was in high school, my Agriculture teacher, Mr. David A. Crossno, would lecture us about how the military/industrial complex would rule our nation and we would see the demise of the family, of the family owned farm, and the institution of marriage. He said that money would be replaced with electronic cards and machines that kept check of the balance of your dollar credits and if there were any paper money at all, it would have biometric tracking capability so that remote scanners could tell if you were carrying more money than the law allowed. He said that by creating government subsidies to provide for the poor, entire classes of people would cease to function as productive working members of society and become dependent on the system. Marriage would cease to be productive when you could be paid to support children. He said that wars would be fought over oil and that our Social Security savings would be robbed by politicians that would borrow until our Nation was so beholden to international bankers that we would never be out of debt. He predicted inflation, gasoline maybe as high as a dollar a gallon, cigarettes a dollar a pack, cokes .50, a new car might cost a much as 7 or 8 thousand dollars. Mr. Crossno said that he probably wouldn't live long enough to see the worst of this but he wanted his students to know what would be coming and to be prepared for it. We thought he was crazy and called him "the Bird" behind his back.
I wanted to grow up and be a farmer. I wanted to buy back my Grand-father's farm and raise cows for milk, butter and cheese, grow corn in the field, manage the timber, raise a family of children to help and live a simple life in a rural community. I wanted to be a part of that farming community, to walk into the local store and have a coke with the owner and pass the time of day. I went to the same school that my father graduated from and I wanted my children to go there too. Some of us had more, some less but it didn't much matter and it didn't matter what color you were or which church you went to, we accepted that folks were different and that was just fine.
We were not angels. We got into fights, some of them pretty serious and people got injured but it wasn't put on the evening news and nobody called the police unless it couldn't be resolved without somebody getting killed. Nobody called the FBI if somebody flushed a M-80 down the toilets, it wasn't a terrorist bombing. If somebody brought a gun to school, it stayed out in their car or truck until after classes were over and you got with your Buds to go shoot some doves or maybe just a few tin cans. Everybody had a knife in their pocket and we would even play stretch or mumble-peg outside on the play ground. We'd sneak around and smoke cigarettes, maybe a joint once in a while and fast cars were something we all enjoyed. We were a lot more likely to get in trouble for drag racing or cutting doughnuts in the parking lot than we were for shooting up a class room. When the colored folks in Memphis were rioting and burning everything after Martin King was killed, we didn't stop hanging out with our colored friends and family, we just thought that folks in big cities were a little crazy. The Viet Nam war was going on and a lot of us figured we'd get drafted and sent over there but that was just the way things worked. There was a whole world out ahead of us, our parents had gotten us a good start into it and they might not like it that we knew so much more than they did and our hair was too long, but they were still proud of us. I don't know whatever happened to Mr. Crossno, he would be somewhere around 130 years old now if he's still alive. I wonder what he paid for his last tank of gasoline?

 

Day 276, My Liberal Diary
What an amazing country? I am having a conversation with an aquaintence in New Hampshire about an automated drink server at their local McDonalds that puts ice in the cup, pours the drink, puts a cap on the drink, inserts a drinking straw and delivers the drink to your drive-in window and those kids thought they'd get paid $15.00 an hour?
What an amazing age we live in: automated food service of genitically modified food products paid for with electronic money earned as an entitlement while in an Uber driven by a computer then back to our housing unit where we can have sexual congress with a laytex life-partner, gender dejour

 

Day 277, My Liberal Diary
A most enjoyable evening, grilled dinner after a hard day's work in the sun and some home spun music. Just had to write a new song and record it. Sort of inspired by my Liberal Diary...I guess I'm in one of those moods...
What a Country we live in, Ain't this one hell of a place?
I don't know my neighbor's name but Google recognizes my face...
I don't carry money, I got a card and a pin
this bracelet on my ankle will tell you everywhere I've been.
I might take an Uber with a computer that drives
to the local McDonalds on East Route 45,
genetically modified food products served by a machine,
Guess that $15.00 an hour was just a foolish dream.
What a Country we live in, Ain't this one hell of a place?
I don't know my neighbor's name but Google recognizes my face...
I was a boy when I woke up, suppose I'll remain the same,
my latex life-partner don't mind and won't ask me what I think.
What a Country we live in, Ain't this one hell of a place?
I don't know my neighbor's name but Google recognizes my face...
I' m gonna march on South Chicago and take away all their guns
because me and bunch of friends think it will be a lot of fun.
We'll legalize smoking marijuana soon as Monsanto get control
if Kim don't drop a nuclear bomb in the center of mind control.
What a Country we live in, Ain't this one hell of a place?
I don't know my neighbor's name but Google recognizes my face...
I inherited the family bible, I opened it and I read
the births and deaths of 153, but they're all pretty dead.
As I read their names for certain, the one thing I did know
they would soon all be democrats if I can get them registered to vote.
What a Country we live in, Ain't this one hell of a place?
I don't know my neighbor's name but Google recognizes my face...

 

Day 278, My Liberal Diary
Today, I was driving north on I-65 towards Creola when the 18-wheeler in front of me veered into the bridge railing and careened back across the center of the highway in a most unstable high speed attitude. Two right rear tires exploded and were broken from the truck, one with the treads separating so there were three large wheels flying towards my windshield. I had locked my brakes and was in a controlled skid, trying to dodge between the two tires on either side of me, the tread literally bounced over the top of my pickup. I was towing a trailer loaded with a cylinder of liquid oxygen and acetylene, an 18-wheeler behind me contacted the left rear of my trailer, scraping all the paint from the rim of his passenger side front wheel. The air was filled with smoke but we were able to pass the intersection and pull to the side to access damages. I should buy a lottery ticket! There was a small dent and some rubber from the 18-wheeler's passenger tire on the back of my trailer, no damage to his truck except a little paint on the edge of his wheel rim. The guy in the first 18-wheeler with the two missing tires I think might have shit himself but otherwise was OK. This was about as close to dead as I have been in a while and so easily could have gone the other way and flowers would be sent and shit happens.
This has got me thinking about our liberal pet agenda, "Gun Violence".
I hate to be the one to share this eye-opening little tidbit with you guys but somebody seriously needs to. Violence sucks regardless of the implements used to commit mayhem, death and destruction. It truly doesn't make one bit of difference to dead person what killed them, if it was a machine gun, a bomb, poison, a brick, a train-wreck, ball-bat, their last vote was cast with "Oh shit". When we bring up the over-used term "Gun Violence", this immediately put 2/3s of the population into defensive mode. That 2/3s are the majority that own firearms legally and are pretty damned certain that none of their guns walk around killing people by themselves. If we just demanded that this violence and killing has to be stopped, everyone would get on board with it. Nobody wants to be killed by a nut-case with an assault rifle or a mac-truck.
I want to make a perfectly clear statement about this with no ambiguity, if I am ever involved in an active shooter situation, I will do everything in my power to kill the shooter by any means I can devise. I will do so at the risk of being killed myself, rather than waiting to become a statistic. I am usually armed with both a gun and a knife but if not, I will improvise and use any means I can devise to implement lethal force to stop the shooter. If I see this while driving down the highway, I will run the bastard over, get out, then shoot him. That shooter is there for one reason and one reason only, to stack up a body count. That fact alone negates his right to breath the same air as my family. There will be no mercy.

 

Day 279, My Liberal Diary
I came in from work today only to find that I now have a dietary list. I did not have a dietary list this morning when I left for work but it was there at lunch and I ate asparagus, spinach and and ear of corn while the right-wanger enjoyed some of the best left-over home-made chicken and dumplings that I have had in over a year. I am not a good person for lists unless I make them and do not know how well I will receive this list yet but I will give it due thought, maybe write a song about it and sneak me a bowl of those chicken and dumplings after she who must be obeyed goes to bed.
Thinking about this made me remember a dear old friend, Chuck Romans. He often referred to his wife as "She who must be obeyed", Diane was definitely a matriarch but when I first met them, they were completing a horse-back journey diagonally across the North American Continent beginning in British Columbia and ending in Miami, Florida. They had Diane's 12 year old son with them the entire way and I first saw them as a feature on a television program reality show called "That's Incredible". They once owned a traveling Wild-West Carnival complete with an ant-eater and a pigmy elephant that had a tremendous aversion to the truck it was transported in. And they Stephan and me and Jimi to put up with at the Bluebird Cafe in Jacksonville.
Chuck was truly one of the last free Americans, maybe one of the very few I have ever known. He played music, wrote songs, robbed trains on horse-back then greeted the passengers back at the rail road depot with his blue-grass band. We played music together a good bit and through him, I got to perform with some of true legends in music and even got to play shows at the Summer Olympic Games in Atlanta, Georgia and the historic Swampland Opry. Chuck never really wanted to own much, just their simple cabin and a few guitars to sing his memories. Diane would follow that man to hell and back but she ran a stern camp and there was no doubt who was in charge oi domestics. When Chuck passed away several years ago, we had just moved to Mobile in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. I heard that a pack-mule had kicked Chuck's leg and he got a bad bruise that resulted in a blood-clot. The clot eventually dislodged and killed him. Medical help maybe could have prevented his death but I don't suppose that mattered much to him. He didn't think a mule would kill him. Health care is expensive, especially if you have insurance. You go to Doctors for things that may or may not be a serious problem and spend a lot of money doing things that will not cure your malady but will give you a choice of varying degrees of treatment, depending on how much you are able to spend. It isn't that much different than not having health care insurance, except that much of the time, an indigent can receive emergency treatment paid for by tax breaks. Nobody except for the extremely wealthy ever really gets cured, everybody else just gets treated. We are looking at assembly-line health-care based on insurance actuarial tables, not at keeping someone alive beyond their profit potential. I am pretty damned certain that Chuck would much rather that mule killed him than some of these Jackasses that keep trying to write laws to legislate health-care.

 

Day 1000, My Liberal Diary

When I completed my full-gestation period as a newly converted Liberal, day 270 in my liberal diary I think, and became a reborn full-fledged Liberal, and given my former misconstrued life and background as a Conservative, it was only natural that the real leaders of our noble revolution should task me with a secret mission. The past 730 days of my Liberal Diary are presently classified and Eyes Only until cleared for release by Nancy Pelosi, George Soros, Maxine Waters, Robert Dinero, and Sponge Bob. As you well know, they are the crux of the Liberal Intelligence Commission Enforcement (L.I.C.E.). I was tasked with infiltrating the main-stream Conservative population under deep cover, a spy with the delicate mission to determine how they managed to steal the election from Hillary Clinton when she was so far ahead in the election right up until evening, when all those red-necks got off work and voted.

My legend (cover story) had to be impeccable; the risk of discovery would have had dire results. Since I already was a musician of sorts, it was decided that I needed to wear a cowboy hat and learn some country songs. I was to be sent into a den of conservative racists, a place so filled with former military soldiers, Trump Supporters, gun-toting, football watching, wall-building radicals…The American Legion Post 199, in Fairhope, Alabama! These people are so MAGA, they still hoist a new American Flag every day and given their support of such archaic things as the Second Amendment and their military propensity towards shooting or bombing people that want to see that flag burned, probably wouldn’t be a good idea to make an issue about it.

I began performing and hanging out at the American Legion in deep heart of Dixie. I was instructed to always carry a gun and make sure it was a good one so I could show it off and let Legionaires admire it and show me theirs and we could discuss what bullets work best for shooting deers and which ones we needed for stopping crazy commie terrorists and child-molesters. I had to learn the rules of FootBall and how to realistically shout “Roll Tide” at the appropriate moment. I was warned about the possibility of “Stockholme Syndrome” and provided an ample supply of weed to combat it. I soon learned that conservatives could smell weed a long way off so I started baking it into peanut butter crackers, called “Firecrackers” and drinking a lot of Jack Daniels whiskey so they would think I was just another one of the boys.

I wore my leather motorcycle jacket, the one with the big Confederate Battle flag across the back. It’s just short enough to allow the tip of my Colt 1911 pistol to protrude from the bottom when I lean to the left. If someone notices, I can pull it out and show them the genuine elephant ivory grips on it and tell them I shot that endangered beast at 20 yards, off-handed, right between those big old ears.

Given how racist, we conservatives all are, I was surprised to see a number of black faces in the crowd around the bar. I at first thought they were staff, lawn maintenance and such, but was introduced to them as members of the conservative movement. Some of them were even LBGTQ folks! How mis-guided can you get. This is going be harder to explain to L.I.C.E. than I imagined.

 

Glad this is locked behind a membership site! Otherwise your "liberal friends" would be making these plots into a left wing TV show!

(I prefer SHOT Show updates, myself!) Great irony! Thanks!

 

So for 700+ days what were you doing? Covering your liberal tracks?

 

My Liberal Diary, A New Era
We didn't have much luck with Obama because those rednecks voted trump into office and he just undid everything Obama accomplished. Hillary didn't do as well as we had hoped against him, primarily because most of the people that voted for the idiot actually had to work for a living!
We didn't do too well at impeaching him either. I admit, I was about to get a little disillusioned, especially when the economy was doing so well. It's hard to make people see how miserable we all are, when they are making more money, and their money is buying them more stuff and they keep spouting irrelevant shit about the "Quality' of life. I had begun to believe that just maybe we could find some way of compromising without actually surrendering, with no loss of honor, as if honor was a tangible asset, but then Biological Imperative saved our collective asses!
We have won! We have managed to shut down everything except Walmart, even those pesky Churches, where idiots convene to blame it all on their gods and seek guidance (read "vote for Trump"). We have successfully destroyed the economy, put millions of people on the public dole, saved the Welfare State forever; Socialism wins again! Mr. Soros should be proud.
We have people voluntarily locking themselves inside their home with only occassional trips to Walmart or Lowe. We have them wearing masks to cover their faces! I admit that I didn't really understand the toilet paper thing, at least until I coughed in Walmart last week and several people standing six feet away, shit themselves.
We cannot let up on the pressure! Now is the time for all good men, women, and multi-gender to come to the aid of their fellow Liberal! Keep the fear going! We have wiped out death by cancer, heart disease, flu, guns, drunk driving, aids, smoking, and suicide; this alone is a monumental cause for celebration! Everyone now only dies from Covid-19! I knew there was a reason we buy so much stuff from China! If we can make them believe their pets are carriers too, then we won't be bothered with guard dogs, police dogs, or shitzus when we throw bottles at the Trumpsters. Sure, a few of us thought that getting them to drink bleach would work out better, but we have to realize that even so-called "Conservatives" still have a minimum amount of functional brain cells, they are just so indoctrinated with financial achievement and bribery. What a stroke of shear genius! Let loose a new flu, kill a few old and weak just to reinforce the plague. Nobody will remember that nature has a way of limiting population when it exceedes the environmental abilty to support it. Wolves and bears did the same thing with that useless buffalo animal. Now we've got farms going tits up, small businesses will just be a thing of the past, a brief note in our glorious history. Those of us that already have enough money don't need to work any more, we'll just hang out reading the instruction manual for our new guns that we panic purchased, shoot a few quarantine violators, and wait to buy up foreclosed houses and businesses; let the assholes work for us for a while! We are on a role, brothers and sisters, and neutral gender siblings! Keep up the fright, it's working. Scare everybody. Stay the cause!

 

Boo! Hide,! Don't get the flu, Heart disease, Stroke , Gunshot, or killed by a drunk driver or you'll get Covid-19. Last year, smoking killed 480,000 people in the United States, Heart Attacks killed 647,000, the Flu killed 80,000 people, Aids at it's peak killed 40,000, drunk driving got another 10,585 folks, and guns killed 15,292 people although most were justifiably killed during the commission of a crime, by police, shot by enemy troops, or suicide. This year you get lucky! If you die for just about any reason, it will be Covid-19. Almost nobody is dying of aids, drunk driving, heart disease, stroke, gun-shot, suicide, I forgot to mention that last year 47,085 people just killed themselves deliberately.It amazes me that last year 606,810 people died of cancer but not this year, Covid-19 cured it! So we let the Deep State scare us into accepting voluntary Totalitarianism because of a virus that there are no real statistics for. I do know three that survived this dreaded disease and said it was miserable but the same folks said the same thing about the flu they survived the year before. Swallow the Blue Pill.