Need advice, exchange student wants to shoot

Just wanted to thank everyone for the well thought out responses. I sat down and talked to her last night about this. I told her that she agreed to abide by the rules of the organization when she came here and one of them stated she could not shoot a gun. I told her that if your word isn't a guarantee of your actions then it's basically worthless. Then we talked about who she gave her word to. It wasn't her parents, and it really wasn't the agency. It was the insurance company that provides liability coverage for the agency.

We talked about the fact that there are no laws in place that would prohibit her from shooting and her parents, though fearful of guns, have never told her she could not shoot. The only one who says no is an insurance company that views everything as a liability that the exchange agency could be sued over... even riding a 4 wheeler or a riding mower.

We talked about the reasons why she wanted to learn to shoot. She wants to learn because she has been a victim, and does not want to be again. Also her country, and her family, have been affected in the past by wars and communist regimes and she is starting to understand the idea of the citizens being able to defend themselves against a tyrannical government.

In the end, I left it up to her.

We're going to the range after school. I just called a buddy of mine who is a CHL instructor and he said he'd meet us and give her a crash course in gun safety. He'll teach her better than I ever could, plus he's in his 70s and few things make him happier than getting to teach a pretty young girl how to shoot.

 

I like your style and your approach to the issue. You have given careful consideration of the ethical dimensions of the issue. If your ward sincerely wants the training for her own sound reasons, then that is ok. Better for her to learn properly under competent supervision, in a controlled environment than to have an insatiable curiosity satisfied by someone oustide your span of supervision in an environment that may not be safe for her.

 

I believe you are only as good as the word you give when that word is given while not being coerced to do so.

 

I don't view a 17 year old as a child. Had she been 12 I would not have let her make her own decision on this, nor would her parents have let her go clear across the globe on her own. At 17 though, she is old enough to make decisions like this on her own. My responsibility in this is to make sure she is aware of possible consequences of her choices, and then to support her in her final decision. When she goes home, if her parents have an issue with it, she will be responsible for explaining to them why she made the decision she made.

 

+1 to the above. Honor is more important than teaching her shoot a gun.

I would tell her that she gave her word to follow the rules, and she should keep her word.

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I would never take another persons child out for a day of shooting without direct permission from the parents mouth and not rely on the child's word that their parents said it was alright. More than once my children's friends have wanted to go shooting and each and every time I called their parents to receive their blessing. I would expect any other parent to give me the same courtesy, if not we will be having an adult conversation concerning the matter.

 

Sorry but I could not disagree with you more. Personally, I feel it was irresponsible of you take somebody else's child out shooting without their direct permission.

Let alone the ramifications of the contract she signed. Do you really think that this child isn't going to share how she came to America and shot guns? Her parents will find out, even if she does not tell them directly.

17 yrs. old is not an adult. Are we not as parents responsible for our children until they reach that magic age of 18?

How is this any different than an adult sharing an alcoholic beverage with a minor? Other than one is illegal.

You better hope the agency does not find out about this. If the Exchange Student is sent back early because of a violation, she will be sent back on her parents dime. Isn't her plane ticket already purchased with a set return date, get her sent home early and it will cost her parents some coin.

Did you happen to mention this when discussing with her about the possible consequences of her choices concerning shooting firearms?

 

My Mother was 15 when I was born, she's 17, a young adult in every way except some arbitrary age directly tied to the age when most young people finish High School. She doesn't have to get permission from her parents to get an abortion so why should she have to get permission to learn how to defend her own life and that of her family?

 

Damn, am I only one that gives other parents respect in regards to asking their permission while being their child's attendant.

Shame on me, I guess!

 

No, she does not have to get her parents permission to shoot firearms. However, I feel it is courteous to others to ask their permission. Thus far each and every parent I have done this with has been gracious in my asking their permission.

 

No question about it while she's here in the USA.

 

BT's thinking is spot on DW. Get her out by herself, set up some targets and cans(for fun-plinking) to blast. She will love it. Start with 22s and work up. I still plink with 22s for economic reasons plus the fun. Thanks for taking her under your wing and into your home.

 

While she is under my roof she is, by her own parent's formal agreement and consent, MY kid. I don't have to ask them permission to take her skiing, or hiking, or anything else. That's part of the deal of her living under our roof and eating our food and having us drive her to basketball practice and birthday parties and whatnot. When they originally signed her up to come over, they were required to fill out a form stating if there were ANY activities they did not want her to engage in. They said there were not. They wanted her to see what it was like to live in the US, as an American. By her own admission I know they are afraid of guns, but they did not specify she couldn't shoot them... and hell our coordinator saw our gun cabinet on the first home visit, and my Glock on my desk on the second. It was never any secret that we own firearms.

Seventeen is on the cusp of being considered a legal adult and if they aren't able to reason out choices at that point they aren't going to magically develop that ability the day they turn 18. If someone wants to make all of their kid's decisions for them until they turn 18 then bully for them, but I spent a long time talking to her about this and realized she is old enough to make this decision on her own and accept the potential consequences of her actions. She knows what'll happen if her coordinator finds out. She'll be sent home.

Sure I could have said "No it's against the rules!" And then what? Some horny boy at school says "I'll teach you! We'll go out to my granddad's ranch! He's got rifles and shotguns and a skeet setup!" She goes out with him and next thing I know she comes home with a dislocated shoulder because he was too busy staring at her butt to realize she was holding the damn thing wrong. Just because that's how I learned to shoot doesn't mean I want her learning that way. She's made her choice. All I can do is make sure she's in the best hands possible now, and I've done that.

My concern from the beginning was whether or not to encourage her to go against her agreement. I don't like the idea of encouraging a kid to break their word. However, the more I've listened to others the more I've realized this particular agreement is akin to the agreement we make to get our driver's license, in which we promise to follow all traffic laws, and then go over the speed limit every time we're late for work. So, I didn't encourage her either way. I simply left the choice up to her, and told her I would support her whatever she decided.

 

Hmm...Is she a fan of Son's of Gun's ?