Need help for a teen

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by monkeyman, Aug 24, 2005.

  1. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Hey folks I need some help. Have a friend (x girlfriend) with a teen son. He has gotten going down the wrong road in a big way. He is 15 and in to drugs, stealing, staying gone from home for days or even weeks at a time not even telling her where he is and so on. He is on probation and she has tried getting his PO to help get him in some kind of residential program to get straightened out but they are useless and wont even enforce his probation and lock him up. If he is picked up by the cops, she has to go get him or face arest for abandonment (was told this by the PO and cops). She has told them she cannot controle him and cant get help, she has 3 other sons and so is afraid if she locks him up in the house and dose what she would have to in order to controle him with DFS what it is she would loose all the kids. He has a lot of problems not the least of which being his dad is in prison for murder and after a fight in prison is now on death row.
    She wants to be able to get him into a boot camp but they cost A LOT and she is a single mom of 4 and highschool drop out who cant keep a job and do anything about the kids.
    More for his sake than hers I want to help. I know there has to be something out there in the way of a free program or one on a slideing scale based on income but have not been able to find them. I figured we are getting a good sized group going here and several sets of eyes and ears are better than mine alone. So if anyone here can help me find info on a program that someone barely able to keep the lights on (on a good month) can aford it would be greatly apreciated. He has had a rouph hand delt him and not a real great mom to help him through it but at least she is now willing to allow him to have help before he winds up dead or to strung out on drugs and such to make it back.
    Thanks for any help you can be in helping to find this info.

    BTW I already saw several with student loans available but theres no way she could afford the couple hundred dollars a month to repay them and still keep a roof over the other three and food in thier bellies.
  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Wow. I don't envy her, but admire her desire to help him rather than give up.

    I'll see what I can find and look into available programs. I'll let you know what I come up with.
  3. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Thanks, I spent a couple hours trying to wade through google searches on it, gave myself a headache and then figured out to ask for help in the search here. I never have been great at finding specificly what Im looking for on the web but plan to also look more later. I mean Im far from financialy well off and myself am doing good to keep the lights on but figure if she will let him be helped then if its to far off then one way or another I will even do what I need to to get train tickets or whatever to get him there.
  4. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Has she checked with his school, or councelor there? Sometimes they know of a program that isn't widely publicised and sometimes there are programs that a kid can only get into with their recommendation (sad but true).

    Since his PO doesn't seem to be much help, I bet she could inquire with social service or local children's division to see if they know of any programs, or are willing to let her know about them.

    I'll check here with those that I know, but may be hard pressed to find something in your area, unless I can get ahold of someone who's familar with a national or federal program. I've found most of those lost funding long ago.

    Hey, what do we need to worry about kids for anyway? (Grumble, grumble)
  5. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    He goes to school in the KCMO school district, ie. worthless and sad to say but true that they have the idea 'if your white you aint right'. My girlfriends son wen there for a while and its bad enouph he was jumped multiple times by groups of kids who happened to be black and he went to the faculty, he was suspended each time while nothing happened to his attackers. So between thair racism and lack of careing about the kids theres no help there. They are also supposed to call her AND his PO any time he dosnt show up at school but never bother to call iether her OR his PO even when he dosnt show up for a week or more at a time or even when they suspend him.
    I dont know about other areas but at least in KC where shes at even government help is available in direct proportion to income, the higher the income the more they are willing to help the more you need the help the more they tell you to screw off. :x I know she has tried checking with the school, his PO, and I think social services though dealing with them in the area, especialy if your poor is a VERY risky thing as they will snatch kids just for jollies.
    Like I say, as long as its not dependent on his location for him to be able to get into it in some way she can aford then I will find a way to get him where ever in the country he needs to be to get the help, granted closer might be better but if it cant be found local then the distance will be overcome.
  6. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Oh my. That's sad. :(

    I have a meeting tonight and I'm betting somebody there will be able to point me in the right direction toward a helpful program. No guarantees, but I'll certainly find out what I can.
  7. melbo

    melbo Hunter Gatherer Administrator Founding Member

    I'll keep my ears open too mm.
  8. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Okeedokee, here's what I could find tonight:

    If the state and schools are no help, she might check with local clergy (and she might have to call around to see who has this type of program). Some places have a program for troubled teens that gives them a place to not be judged, but work out some problems and help them out.

    She could also check with a local PTA (maybe even PTSA - which usually is geared towards older kids). They have a lot of affiliations with teen programs and help for them. National PTA is and local PTAs can be found from that website. If there's nothing you can find on the site, call them. It's a large group of parents that want the best for kids, so someone is bound to have a direction to look. There's also PTO's in some areas that are just like the PTA, without the insurance requirements or national affiliations.

    If you can't find anything in the general area, I'm a PTA member and can check stuff out for you in member's only areas. I also am very active here locally, so I could do some more digging if needed. Let me know.

    I'm off for a funeral across the state, so I'll check back in next week to see what I can do to further help your quest.
  9. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Thanks all, Ill pass on the info gleened so far and see what more I/we can come up with. I do apreciate any and all help.
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