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New and eager to learn, and find my own way

Discussion in 'Back to Basics' started by BailyTheFox, Nov 29, 2014.

  1. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    ALL CRITICISM WELCOME - So, I'm 18 and in my first year of college. I'm going for fish and wildlife techniques and may go on to a 4 year college afterward if I make it. I'm under-motivated, clinically depressed and have severe anxiety (I'm a peach to be around!). I have a very pessimistic outlook I guess, but its hard not to! I can't see myself being able to succeed in college and getting a job I enjoy. Even if I were to get this job I would still be trapped in modern society and its rules and judgments. I have too much time on my hands my entire life and it leads to a cycle of self-hatred, doubt, and suicidal thoughts because I am trapped in a pool of quick-sand in my head, have been since 1st grade!

    I want to live happily by my own rules on my own terms! I wish to find a remote place to build my own home and way of life and not need to rely on others entirely like people do these days.

    The big thing is I want to do this and have exotic and wild animals in a state where its legal to do so without harassment. Having to worry about this is entirely unavoidable because if I don't obey such laws and I had, lets say a fox, they would take it away and kill it as they do so often. I have worked with wild animals for 3 years now and am learning what I can handle and take care of. I have worked directly with lemurs, bobcats, coatimundis, wolf dogs, red foxes, and know that my life wouldn't be complete without this interaction.

    I don't really have a plan, one can't plan when they don't do well in school and cant do simple jobs! I want to live simply and happily with hard work and the companionship of my animals somewhere pristine! I wish to live somewhere with a lot of bio-diversity and a stunning landscape (not Alaska, too extreme i'm not that hardcore!).

    For income I would maybe do fur trapping and crafts related to this. I could also do educational shows with animals as I love to teach people about animals despite hating people! I could make a small amount of income also by breeding fur animals like fox and mink, and selling small exotics that I breed. I would grow, farm, and maybe hunt my own food and not rely on outside energy.

    Sorry if all this isn't clear as I have a very bad headache right now!!
    GOG, chelloveck and William Antrum like this.
  2. 3M-TA3

    3M-TA3 Cold Wet Monkey Site Supporter++

    First off, being 18 and having a direction puts you far ahead of most your age. As for where you can live relatively unmolested in a diverse ecosystem with mountains I'd suggest Northern Idaho and Western Montana. Idaho especially is still a free state and will be for a long time to come. Actually, pretty much anywhere in the American Redoubt is a good choice, but much of it is open desert.

    As for income work out your business plan and make sure it will meet your income needs.

    Good luck in your venture!
    GOG likes this.
  3. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    Thanks dude, couldn't imagine living in a desert though I do love reptiles.
  4. Dunerunner

    Dunerunner Brewery Monkey Moderator

    There is always Alaska....

    There you will find exotic Salmon, Moose, Elk, Caribou, Grizzly Bear, Beaver, Otter, Eagles, and a slew of other cold weather exotics.
  5. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    I think Alaska is too extreme though it would be wonderful. How I learned of alternative ways of living was from all the TV shows of people living in the wilds up there. I have difficulties enough with winter as it is in New York. Mentally, I know I could never handle Alaska with my issues. Although who knows, I may fall in love when I visit in may.
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2014
  6. 3M-TA3

    3M-TA3 Cold Wet Monkey Site Supporter++

    Alaska in January and February is what you want to experience if you are thinking about living there. Also, consider the panhandle as it's further south and mostly mountains crashing into the Pacific.
  7. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    Note taken, though again I'm thinking I wouldn't do Alaska.
  8. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    Alaska isn't so bad, especially out here near the Coast....
  9. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    I cant wait to visit, I've wanted to go to Alaska for a long time. I've been to Hawaii, Aruba, and Mexico for vacations so this should be quite the contrast.
  10. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    You have a lot of learning and experiences to gather before that dream can come even close to reality.

    Starting right there are the principle obstacles you have to overcome. SM can help with the thought processes involved with getting set up as soon as you overcome the negative vibes (as us flower children remember what they are called.) Here, you will get hard nosed advice and gentle prodding when there are wavering doubts showing up. You cannot expect counseling of the type you (don't) say you need here on the Monkey. If you see yourself unsuccessful in any endeavor, what make you think you will do well in another? Make a decision to succeed at something, make it happen. Nothing like positive feedback to make the next challenge easier.

    Harsh? Maybe. Realistic, yes but ONLY if your assessment of yourself is accurate.
  11. Mindgrinder

    Mindgrinder Karma Pirate Ninja|RIP 12-25-2017

    Mind your meds.
    Study EVERYTHING they give you and pay very close attention to what is working and what is not. Find HEALTHY ways to distract yourself when on a low swing of depression and get as much done as possible when you're hypo-manic. Don't be afraid to try anything and everything to treat yourself and consider deeply how you would adjust to no meds when SHTF. If your anxiety is like mine and causes you severe insomnia, try a gut cleanse and diet change. Tart cherry juice is kinda like natural melatonin and might help you get more REM sleep. Try a very hot bath right before bed...when you lay down and your core body tempt cools it will usually trigger a better quality sleep. If anxiety is causing you to miss class or work, I can only give you the advice that works for me.....realize that it's just a splash of cold water like swimming in a river in the spring. Once you get past the hesitation and JUMP IN - the anxiety will usually fade away until work/school is done for the day and you're back at home stressing about the 101 things you need to get done there.

    Turn off the TV, turn off your cell phone, cancel your video game accounts, tie up the fishing line and get out of the idiot x-box and away from city wifi.

    Daydreaming aboot living with wild animals is cool and all...but living it will be much different than thinking aboot it. Luckily, you're still very young and have plenty of time to sort out an action plan.
    As far as killing yourself goes....find God...and if you can't do that...keep it real like the Native American Indians....if you kill something...you better eat it and use as much of the animal as you can. How can you eat yourself when you're dead? ;-P In fact...maybe you should visit some Native Reservations.....perhaps you can find the kind of life you're looking for there. Some of them make their own laws and are a bit "outside the system" - though impoverished.

    Hope that makes some sense to ya.

  12. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    Not harsh at all dude, I need the criticism and welcome it completely. I've become far more positive over the years compared to the past, its hard though. I tell people I would like to live so much more simply and they call me crazy. They say "you cant live without internet, running water, and a quick run to the store!" Its all you can't you can't you can't!

    I mean, I love video games (I've played over 5,000 hours in my lifetime of different games!) and I love bubble baths but if those are the only thing keeping you happy there is a problem and thats where I know things need to change with me.

    I wonder, Is there ever a way to test the waters? To learn first hand from someone who lives the way I'm interested in living? I am a very hands on learner and don't even like to even try doing something before I know I can do it. If I think I will screw something up its like a physical barrier almost, if I can't do it right I wont. I really want to learn so many things but its real hard for me to ask people in person or over the phone for help.
  13. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    5000 / 24 = 208 Days... Dude you could have learned a whole "Ton" of useful SkillSets in those 208 Days... Everyone needs diversions, but REALLY, Man, that is a LOT of wasted Time....
    Motomom34 likes this.
  14. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    Yes, you could " try it before you buy it". You could go to work in one of the few "old west reenactment" type towns. They show folks old tyme skill such as blacksmithing, log cabins, making paper from pulled cloth, how to butcher for meat, how to plow or harvest crops (many of the skills you would need to know, if you choose to go it alone, or if things went pear shaped. You might spend a summer break, and make a few buck while learning some interesting new skills.
  15. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    Here is a small riddle for you to think on.....log cabins were made to last for hundreds of years, and a few still exist....but why do we not see more of them? Why are they rare historical treasures now? ;)
  16. Mindgrinder

    Mindgrinder Karma Pirate Ninja|RIP 12-25-2017

  17. NotSoSneaky

    NotSoSneaky former supporter

    My responses are in Red.

    Baily I hope you can conquer your inner demons.
    I wish you inner peace and success in following your dreams.
    oldawg and Yard Dart like this.
  18. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    instead of large exotics that would require large tracts of land and a large amount of $$ for start up consider Falconry... as a former Falconer the birds are a pleasure to work with. while they require a lot of handling and exercise they require a smaller land foot print. licenses and permits are less expensive most state require a test to get a license and a apprenticeship. additionally there is less public outcry against falcons/hawks than other exotics. handling equipment can be made by yourself and maintained rather inexpensively when compared to equipment needed to handle larger exotics, the Vet bills are generally lower. Falcons and hawks can be trained to hunt and serve as an additional source of food gathering... there are several programs run by states and feds as well as private entities that hire falconers... and pay decent wages...

    Just a Thought... YMMV
    Mindgrinder and kellory like this.
  19. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    It really is, keep in mind this is approximate number over my life time, not a few years. I have had video games for as long as I can remember and trying to find my way is a recent development.

    I've considered falconry but don't think its for me. Oddly enough large birds intimidate me, while a moody bobcat or red fox does not as much. I guess its the behavioral differences, I really feel more of a connection to mammals and reptiles.
  20. BailyTheFox

    BailyTheFox Monkey+

    Some more questions - So, what would a good square footage be? I want the "bare bones" of my house to be cozy, just big enough to not be cramped. If possible could you show me examples of square footage? It's hard to visualize the size of a space in my head.
    I know I would have a small loft area for my bed, and a woodstove in the corner on the main floor. The metal pipeing that the smoke is funneled out of would go through the loft area and heat would radiate out of it right? This would keep the small loft area warm but would it be a hazard if a blanket we're to contact it?

    Also, how much energy does a solar panel produce and how is it efficiently stored? Are there examples of the amount of energy produced by one panel of a certain size? In whatever machine stores the energy, is there a clear indication of exactly how much energy is within, a meter perhaps? Pros and cons?

    How much does it cost to have a well made with a simple old-fashioned water pump? What are the pros and cons of these pumps?

    When I get home I will make a little diagram of the design in my head.
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