1. We are sorrowed to report that one of the Founding Members has passed on. Dee (Righthand) is well remembered as contributing much to the operation of SurvivalMonkey, and is already greatly missed. Little lady, big person.

New Career Potential?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Seacowboys, Oct 9, 2014.

  1. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    A friend of mine showed me his neighbor's ranch, where they raise very large and genetically superior white-tailed deer. This is a commercial endeavor and apparently has been quite successful for a number of years. I asked if I could buy venison there but was told that they didn't process meat, all they sell is deer semen. I laughed...what a conversation around the dinner table that must make..."What'd you do today, honey"? ...Well, I masturbated a ten point...we got the sexiest new Doe magazine in today....Where the hell do they go to plan a career like this? Are there special schools or vocational training? Wonder how the costs and books compare with, well say, an engineer? Ghrit?
    Anyway, apparently they take their "product" a bit more seriously that I and were more than willing to expand on the subject so I now know more about jacking-off white-tails than I had ever envisioned in my most perverse fantasy. Didn't know, for example, that there are actually companies that make special "collection boots", a device that actually captures the ejaculate from the "Stimulated" buck. It apparently doesn't involve much eroticism for the deer or the collector...they drive them into a modified cattle chute and catch their head in a cross-beam, then insert an electric thing that looks like it was designed by a Leather-clad greasy haired guy with a Brooklyn accent and tattoos, into the poor Deer's rectum and "Stimulate" the prostate to cause ejaculation into this wiener-boot for collection, where-upon it is sampled under a micro-scope to insure an adequate number of little swimmers, mixed with some scientific goop that provides some nutrition or antibiotics or something, packaged in vials and frozen in liquid nitrogen for transport to hundreds of lonely does all over the world. And I am equally sure that somewhere, on some fine engineers CV is a patent on what otherwise might have been mistaken for toys that sell on the back-shelf at the local porn shoppe.
    ditch witch likes this.
  2. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey

    Standard in the Cattle world for years.
  3. Airtime

    Airtime Monkey+++

    This takes me back a long ways.... In my college days I worked as a video and audio engineer and was hired for a week to support sound and AV needs for an international congress on animal husbandry and reproduction held at a major ag university. Something like a thousand people from all over the world meeting and discussing this stuff in grand detail for a whole week (I sat through like 50-60 hours of presentations and panel discussions running equipment) plus exhibits booths, displays and all that sort of stuff. You would have had a grand time!

    Thanks for the memory... I think.

  4. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

  5. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey

    I have a friend at a very large cattle operation. They test each bull to find the non producers. Those are the first to go to auction.
    Crooked or non swimmers! Out the door.
    chelloveck likes this.
  6. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    I completed a beef cattle insemination module, as part of a farm technology course I attended years ago. All I can say is that good timing and agility are desireable attributes for beef cattle semen collection.

    Just be aware to do any Deer semen collecting legally! It may hurt your bank balance if you do otherwise.

    Geneticist Fined in Texas Deer Semen Case - Worldnews.com

    Of course in NZ...they take things one step further! :rolleyes:

    I'd be worrying about inevitable substitution scandals! :eek:
  7. CATO

    CATO Monkey+++

    weiner boot . . . [roflmao]
survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary