New Law about to be passed

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by CRC, Jul 14, 2006.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    :D :D


    WASHINGTON, DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

    "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow people of inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."

    The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest
    US employer of Persons of Inability.

    Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%),and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has a
    great record of hiring Persons of Inability, (63%)

    Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

    Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given,to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees.The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

    Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or
    "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"

    "As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in
    Flint , MI, due to her lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me."

    With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with
    some sort of space to take up in this great nation."
  2. Valkman

    Valkman Knifemaker Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I thought that was what Welfare and FEMA was for? Ugh.
  3. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    Yay wif dis nu law I bee able 2 git me one them thar jobs whats down at wallywurld. :lol:

    Sheesh. Christmas on a cracker and other expletives. If this does come to pass, can you imagine the good workers that will be dismissed because the current crew isn't as balanced as it should be? Same thing happened when the non-discriminatory hiring action went into place. Lots of people were 'let go' for different minor reasons so they could hire people from other cultures and races. I am not saying that if you are black you should settle for welfare. I'm saying that this is beyond retarded. If you can work and work better than other people then you should be praised and rewarded for it. There is a reason that 'Slackers' was coined.

    Where will the madness end? If you start a home business do you have to hire illegals to run it because they are at a disadvantage? Crikey, whole systems going down the shitter. :eek:

    My [2c] anyways.
  4. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    :D that's funny
  5. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I thought so...

    Couldn't decide whether to put it in humor..where it belongs, I guess...or the GD..

    Just too funny to post in humor...;)
  6. Tango3

    Tango3 Aimless wanderer

    That's, really funny, but I not sure reality is very far from something like that.:lol:
  7. stimpy117

    stimpy117 Monkey+++

    Where's my mo fo check?
  8. Tango3

    Tango3 Aimless wanderer

    UNDER YO" Gawd D*mn WORKBOOTS!![whipem]
  9. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    So that's the reason a lot haven't been paid. Too lazy to lift the workboots or better yet, no use for the boots.
  10. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    Don't know how I missed this...

    [ROFL] [boozingbuddies]
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