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New Living Will

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Jul 19, 2006.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member



    I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not
    wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances
    should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't
    pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors
    interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of
    time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

    ______a cold beer
    ______a margarita
    ______a glass of wine
    ______a steak
    ______lobster or shrimp
    ______the remote control
    ______a bowl of ice cream
    ______the car keys
    ______my cell phone

    it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a
    determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and
    attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a

    Signature: _______________

    actually, this isn't that funny...I mean ALL of it! ;)
  2. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    I can't come up with a decision on what to do with my body when I die. I have thought of multiple things, such as:

    They could just have me bronzed and bury me face down so the world can kiss my big bronze butt. :D

    They could mummify me and place me in a motorized rocking chair on the front porch. :eek:


    Maybe take my ashes, sneak it into the US kitchen and label it some kind of spice. Should make for tastey eatin at the old white house. :lol:
  3. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Love the form, C!!!! It's perfect!
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