Revised: NEW 2006 LIVING WILL FORM I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following: ______a cold beer ______a margarita ______a glass of wine ______a steak ______lobster or shrimp ______the remote control ______a bowl of ice cream ______the car keys ______my cell phone ______chocolate ______sex it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. Signature: _______________ actually, this isn't that funny...I mean ALL of it!
I can't come up with a decision on what to do with my body when I die. I have thought of multiple things, such as: They could just have me bronzed and bury me face down so the world can kiss my big bronze butt. They could mummify me and place me in a motorized rocking chair on the front porch. Or Maybe take my ashes, sneak it into the US kitchen and label it some kind of spice. Should make for tastey eatin at the old white house.
