New Years Resolutions...anyone make them??

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by CRC, Jan 2, 2008.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    This is a friend of mine....a LEO in Iowa...He just flat doesn't care about what anyone thinks about him....[beer] I almost put this in the Humor Forum...but he's quite serious...

    and besides, others may have some they want to share.....

    Here goes:

    "Over the years (especially when I was younger), I'd make any number of New Year's resolutions, only to break them within a matter of HOURS.
    So, to save myself some grief and frustration, I finally quit making resolutions, and, for the most part, I've considered myself to be living a normal & fairly happy life.

    THIS YEAR, however, will be a bit different.
    I WILL make these resolutions, and I intend to KEEP them.
    They are:

    I WILL NOT make any attempts to try to lose any weight.
    (In fact, my goal is to GAIN 30 pounds before next N.Y.E.)

    I WILL NOT even THINK of fruits, vegetables, and salads as my main courses for my meals.
    If the "food" isn't packed with fat, keep it away from me.

    I WILL continue to fill my S.U.V. with premium gasoline.
    Anything less would only delay bringing global warming to Iowa, where it's badly needed.

    I WILL continue to run my furnace between 77 and 80 degrees in the winter and my air contioners between 70 and 72 degrees in the summer.
    Among other things, the U.S. Constitution gaurantees me the right for "the pursuit of happiness."
    Being comfortable in my own home makes me VERY happy.

    I WILL continue to dine at HOOTERS restaurants.
    Thousands of potential actresses, writers, and doctors are depending on me.

    I WILL continue to dine at McDonalds, Burger King, Hardees, Wendy's, et. al.
    What a shame it would be if all those cows were to die in vain and those delicious burgers were tossed into the garbage at the end of the day.

    I WILL continue to shop at WAL MART.
    The money I save will enable me to run my S.U.V. on premium gas, pay my heating & cooling bills, and dine at HOOTERS and the other fast food restaurants. (And buy a concert ticket or two).

    I WILL continue to face the great state of TEXAS first thing every morning and bow.
    TEXAS IS real America, after all.

    I WILL continue to drink lots & lots of beer.
    I have a friend who works at a brewery who is putting six kids through college. Not exactly cheap, and if I, as a friend, can't help him out a little, what good is our friendship?

    I WILL continue cheering for the Chicago sports teams.
    I can't make it up to Alaska to see the dog teams THERE, so I have to settle for the ones in Chicago.

    That pretty much sums it up.
    In short, I guess, I'll just keep being the overweight gray-haired horny skirt chasing drunken Texas loving old slob I've always been.

    That's how it is-LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME!!! [​IMG]

    OH-and happy new year. [​IMG] "

    Card toting Libertarian, who is busy supporting Ron Paul....

    and an all around great guy....that finally quit caring what others think of him....

    Hmmm...maybe I could use a little bit of that attitude...Not that I do things with others in mind all the time...but more than I care for...

    What are yours???
  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    I'm going to make the world a better place, one smile at a time.

    I'm getting my house back. De-cluttering and removing the chaos. I started already. We have too much. I'm going through everything; cupboards, closets and all! It feels better already, and I've only just begun. :)
  3. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    My one and only resolution is to do my best to survive until this time next year. [ROFL]
  4. the dog

    the dog Monkey+++

    to grow and process more of my own food.this past summer i done more than i ever had...BUT...i can do more.homegrown rabbits and chickens are on the list.i have more 'toys' to help speed up this work.also i am trying different vareitiys of vegtables.....last summer i ate about for got lot of goods in the freezer.

    2007 seen me put my nose to the grind stone and pay off my homeatead....soooooo.....i am debt free and loving it.

    seriously looking into solar panels....IF..i dont loose my job...but everyday i go in i think it will be my and carry for the rest of my life.NO MORE DEBT....EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    oh...and loose some everbody else
  5. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    My main one is to get debt free this year. Since the Dr is trying to push BP pills on me I figure I will also have to go ahead and quit smokeing this year since I refuse to take the meds they want to give me...oh well it will help out on the getting out of debt thing too at about $25+/week it would add up pretty fair.
  6. Clyde

    Clyde Jet Set Tourer Administrator Founding Member

    1. Drink 2-12 beers a day
    2. Do what I want when I want
    3. Quit work and freeload off the government
    4. Accidentally find a suitcase full of drug money and keep it
    5. Win the Mega Millions jackpot
    6. Get flashed by every good looking woman who passes me
    7. Become president of the USA through a Coup de'tat
    8. Stop Dreaming so much
  7. poacher

    poacher Monkey+++ Founding Member

    I don't have New Years Resolutions. I've found like most everyone else the resolutions are made usually when you've had a few too many and decide hey that sounds real logical. That is how you end up with tattoo's of things that you can't figure out what they are and they are in places you can't figure out how you got it put there.
    I decided in Dec of Last Year that I needed to loose some weight. Given the fact that the knees don't take running well anymore I've started walking. Been going at it and having fun. It also helped with all the snacks and food that come's rolling in during Dec. I also decided to get debt free and started that at the end of Nov. So far so good. We've got debt still but the spending has cut down considerably and the snow ball is growing on each debt it hits. I'd love to be able to pay off the house this year but we'll have to put that on few year plan. I figure that as long as it gets paid off 10 or so years early then I'm ahead of the game.

    Take care Be safe Poacher.
  8. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Bourbon, boobies, bullets, and big cigars.
  9. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Spoken like a true Texan E.L. [beer]
  10. Valkman

    Valkman Knifemaker Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Connie, I am like you're friend. I'll drive my big Dodge truck to Wal-Mart to buy stuff, then come home to eat pizza/burgers/whatever. I could give a shit! I'll get up whenever I want, do what I want to all day and make custom knives - and I ain't changing that routine. [beer]
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