Newly discovered computer viruses

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ghrit, Nov 22, 2009.

  1. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    Oprah Winfrey virus:
    Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and then slowly expands
    back to 200MB.

    AT&T virus:
    Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

    MCI virus:
    Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the
    AT&T virus.

    Politically Correct virus:
    Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an
    "electronic microorganism."

    Arnold Schwarzenegger virus:
    Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

    Government Economist virus:
    Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

    Federal Bureaucrat virus:
    Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which
    does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most
    important part of your computer.

    Texas virus:
    Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

    Adam and Eve virus:
    Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

    Congressional virus:
    The computer locks up, screen displaying a message
    blaming gun owners for all the nations problems

    Airline virus:
    You're in Dallas but your data is in Singapore.

    Freudian virus:
    Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying to its own motherboard.

    Public Television virus:
    Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.

    Elvis virus:
    Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs only to
    resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

    Nike virus:
    Just does it.

    Congressional virus #2:
    Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow
    the user to accomplish anything.

    Star Trek virus:
    Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

    New Health Care virus:
    Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill
  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

  3. kckndrgn

    kckndrgn Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

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