No heart....at all

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Dec 19, 2005.


  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    i have such sick friends...thank God for them...




    Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife’s been
    in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs in to the
    ER.
    They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case. They page the doctor. He
    comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.

    ”Mr. Jones?” the doctor asks.

    ”Yes sir, what’s happened? How is my wife?”

    The doctor sits next to him and says, “Not good news. Your wife’s
    accident resulted in two fractures of her spine.”

    ”Oh my God” says Mr. Jones, “what will be her prognosis?”

    ”Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However, her spine is
    inoperable. She’ll have no motor skills or capability. This means you
    will have to feed her.”

    Mr. Jones begins to sob.

    ”And you’ll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent
    pneumonia.”

    Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly.

    ”Then, of course,” the doctor continued, “you’ll have to diaper her as
    she’ll have no control over her bladder and of course these diapers
    must
    be changed at least five times a day.”

    Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries, sobs, wails.

    The doctor continues: “And you’ll have to clean up her feces on a
    regular basis as she’ll have no control over her sphincter. Her bowel
    will
    engorge whenever and quite often I’m afraid. Of course you must clean
    her
    immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent she’ll be
    emitting regularly.”

    Now Mr. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to
    wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass.

    Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats Mr. Jones on the
    shoulder.

    ”Hey, I’m just messin with you. She’s dead.”
     
  2. Conagher

    Conagher Dark Custom Rider Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    :eek: :shock:
     
  3. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    Twisted. I love it. :lol:
     
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