Now we know the answer!!!

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Jun 9, 2006.


  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    How many times have you woken up in the morning after a night out
    drinking and thought: 'How on earth did I get home?' As hard as you
    try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the pub to
    your house.

    The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter.

    The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased
    to the drunk by Bacchus the Roman God of Wine. Bacchus has acquired
    a large batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in
    the following fashion:

    The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and
    the "slurring gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one
    of his many sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a
    winged Beer Scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and
    deposits them in their bedroom via a Trans-Dimensional Portal.

    This is not cheap to run, so a large portion of the passenger's in-
    pocket cash is taken as payment. This answers the second question
    after a night out, 'How did I spend so much money?'

    Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are
    thought to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified
    Drinking Injuries), such as skinned knees and a sore spot on the top
    of your head. An undocumented feature of the Beer Scooter is the
    destruction of time segments during the trip. The nature of the
    Trans-Dimensional Portals dictates that time will be lost, seemingly
    unaccounted for. This answers a third question after a night
    out, 'What the hell happened?'

    With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of
    Embarrassing Moments in Time) add on, that automatically removes,
    in descending order, those parts in time regretted most.
    Unfortunately, one person's
    REMIT is not necessarily the REMIT of another's and quite often,
    lost time is regained in discussions over a period of time.

    Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause
    the Scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending
    passengers to the wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences.

    For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked
    from other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending).
    These boots are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly
    you tip-toe
    up the stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special anti-
    gravity springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the house
    and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the
    bruised shins.

    The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some Scooters, is
    the TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person
    can apparently get through 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night.



    P.S. Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to
    comfortably get home from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing
    just a T-shirt.
     
  2. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    :eek:
     
  3. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Personal experience? [boozingbuddies]
     
  4. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    a LONG LONG LONG time ago..

    maybe....perhaps...

    uh...

    no.

    Is that the right answer??? [raspberry]
     
  5. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Which one?
     
  6. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    No...that's my Final Answer , Regis....
     
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