Oh so true!

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by nope, Aug 27, 2005.

  1. nope

    nope Monkey+++ Founding Member

    How To Shower Like a Woman

    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
    lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along
    the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
    more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

    Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
    wide loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with
    grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces
    in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

    Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    How To Shower Like a Man

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them
    in a pile.

    Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
    wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. b::

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

    Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your behind.

    Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

    Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
    hanging out of tub the whole time.

    Admire wiener size in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return
    to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel,
    shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. b::

    Throw wet towel on bed.

    If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind
    this, there is something so very wrong with you.
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