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Once Upon A Time......

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Yard Dart, Jun 29, 2016.

  1. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey..... Moderator Site Supporter++

    Once upon a time three Lieutenants were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river. But they desperately had to get to the other side. But how, with such a raging torrent? The first Lieutenant knelt down and prayed to the Lord: “Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river! "


    The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs. Now he could swim across the river. It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several... times. BUT: he was successful!

    The second Lieutenant, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!”


    The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.

    The third Lieutenant who observed all this knelt down and prayed: “Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!”


    The Lord converted the Lieutenant into a Sergeant. The Sergeant took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.

  2. BTPost

    BTPost Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    Spoken by a true Airborne NonComm....
  3. techsar

    techsar Monkey++

    I guess they got lost on the land nav course ;)
  4. duane

    duane Monkey++

    As an old enlisted man, I always thought they sent them to OCS to remove all common sense, and to really make sure they had none at all, they sent to the ROTC or service academies.
    Yard Dart and Ganado like this.
  5. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey..... Moderator Site Supporter++

    I used to work ROTC training at Camp All American back in the day. It was amazing to see so many stupid...book smart young men and women. They could barely tie their shoes..... and then they would slap a butter bar on them and give them a platoon.
  6. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn Mosquito Sailor

    LOL ..... I love it. I got so tired of keeping O-1s thru O-3s from crapping in their cracker jacks, and I don't deal with Stupid real well. One of my worst O-1s was an Admiral's son, his name was Bannister. That man could not count, and ignored written pertinent data. I swear if you asked him seriously to count all his visible digits without taking off any clothing items on a warm day, eventually he would smile and look at his hands. As he started counting out loud, I would say silently please, just give me the total. He would answer and I would tell him to do it again. Then once more. The 3 answers would differ. None would be 10, and all obviously were incorrect. One of his responsibilities as Gunnery Officer was to report expended ordinance to overall ordinance control in Mechanicsburg, Pa. , and maintain the onboard Master Ammo Ledger with constant correct totals of all ammo items on the ship. He was a walking talking nightmare and a complete boob. I finally got his ledger completely updated and correct with numerous radio messages to Mechanicsburg, Pa, and I maintained a correct mirror Master Ledger until I left that ship when I turned it over to my relief.
    Ganado and Yard Dart like this.
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