Out of the Mouths of Babes

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Minuteman, Jan 31, 2014.

  1. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member

    Reminds me of the old TV show "Kids say the Darndest Things"

    As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old
    > daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen
    > anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all
    > kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling
    > over my answers, she remarked, "My mom has some of
    > those, but I don't think she knows how to use
    > them."
    > *****
    > Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter,
    > Carolyn, I got a little wistful. "In ten years," I
    > said, "you'll want to be with your friends and you
    > won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you
    > do now.
    > Carolyn shrugged. "In ten years you'll be too old
    > to do all those things anyway."
    > ******
    > Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult
    > assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One
    > day, I entered the examining room to give four-year-old
    > Lizzie her injection.
    > "No, no, no!" she screamed.
    > "Lizzie," scolded her mother, "that's
    > not polite behavior."
    > With that, the girl yelled even louder, "No, thank
    > you! No, thank you!"
    > ******
    > On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson
    > innocently said to my son, "Dad, I know babies come
    > from mommie's tummies, but how do they get there in the
    > first place?"
    > After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally
    > spoke up in disgust, "You don't have to make up
    > something, Dad. It's okay if you don't know the
    > answer."
    > *****
    > Just before I was deployed to Iraq , I sat my
    > eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him.
    > "I'm going to be away for a long time," I told
    > him. "I'm going to Iraq ."
    > "Why?" he asked. "Don't you know
    > there's a war going on over there?"
    > *****
    > Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for
    > children stricken with cancer,
    > AIDS, and blood diseases. One afternoon, he and his wife,
    > Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A
    > counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients
    > wouldn't know Newman was a famous movie star, explained,
    > "That's the man who made this camp possible. Maybe
    > you've seen his picture on his salad dressing
    > bottle?" Blank stares.
    > "Well, you've probably seen his face on his
    > lemonade carton."
    > An eight-year-old girl perked up. "How long was he
    > missing?"
  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

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