Permission Slips - Girls Night Out...and Boys Night Out..

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, May 8, 2006.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    [LMAO] :lol:

    Name of Girlfriend/Fiancé/Partner/Wife:____________

    I’m going out.

    Signed: (me) _____________________________


    Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:______________

    I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:________ to ________
    Time of return _______________
    Date:________ Time of departure:________ NOT to exceed:________

    Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.
    Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer_____ Wine_____ Liquor______ Total_____
    Locations to be visited:_____________________

    Females with whom conversation
    is permitted:______________________

    IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not withstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

    I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

    I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

    Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

    Request is: "APPROVED" "DENIED"

    This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.

    Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:
    Date:_____ Time of departure:______ Time of return:_____

    Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife:

    Location: From:______ To:______

    Location: From:______ To:_______

    Location: From:______ To:______
  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member


    I know guys who need a permission slip like that (thank God I didn't marry one!) to get out of the house. [nono]

    Poor things. [cmfrt]
  3. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

  4. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    There are really guys like that???????

    It was a joke! ewwwwwwwwwww.......
  5. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Sad, but true :( . Fact of the matter is; they have girls like that (overbearing wenches :lol: ).

    They give us nice girls a bad name! ;) [beer]
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