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Personal SHTF........ I've been nuked.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blackjack, May 1, 2008.

  1. Blackjack

    Blackjack Monkey+++

    *** Warning *** Long, Personal Story.... dirty laundry included. And since I have no friends, here is where I'm talkin.

    Sometimes, it seems, survivalism/preparedness takes on a much more "up close and personal" meaning.

    I haven't been posting nearly as much on the boards lately, there's a reason for this.

    The Backstory:
    For the last few years, my relationship with my wife (of about 12 yrs now) has been a bit strained, partially because of finances, and partially due to her 2 year bought with a prescription pain pill addiction that I stuck by her side and supported her through. Adding to the problem, I'm now disabled and unable to work, I've filed for disability, but of course it takes a long time to recieve anything.
    About 2 months ago, she hit what I consider the equivalent of a lottery prize... she landed a GREAT job. I'm thinking the money problems are over, our relationship will get back on track, everything's going to be great, right?


    She has decided to take her new found job/life and leave me... pretty much stranded up here in her hometown where I have no family or friends. I had believed that she was as committed to the marriage as I was, but I was wrong apparently. I thought that sticking by her side and supporting her through the addiction might have earned me some loyalty..... wrong again.

    She told me of this decision a week ago, and she moved out. I'll admit, it hit me pretty damn hard at first. She has been the focus of my life for over a decade now, and every plan I have for the rest of my life included her. I bear no ill will towards her, I still love her with all my heart, and I always will. I'm starting to come to terms with it now, but I'll admit to feeling somewhat betrayed.


    On the survivalist front, it appears I've had a bit of a setback. The family farm that I took great comfort in having access to, is her family, not mine. So that's gone. My plan now is to hopefully make due until the disability starts and then make my way back south to where my family and former friends are. It's a lot more urban than this, so that's a pretty major setback as far as being prepped goes. I've still got my few guns, minus the pistol I gave her (I don't want her to be defenseless), so there's one small thing I have on my side. I'm certain what little food I've managed to squirrel away will soon be promoted to "main menu" status and won't last very long. I've still got a decent first aid kit and some fishing gear, some basics like flashlights and such.

    I never expected to be starting over at age 40. And it seems that a SHTF world isn't all that far away anymore. I'm gonna have a lot of "adjusting" to do when it comes to being prepared.
  2. Tackleberry

    Tackleberry Krieg Hündchen

    Dude, you need to do what most other women do....sue her for ALIMONY!
  3. BuckBall

    BuckBall Woman Hater

    I'm sort of in your shoes. Starting over at 40. Don't have too much to my name, except what is in my packs. Most of my gear lay in England and some more in Germany, and though I am a dual citizen, don't have the funds needed to travel back to ship (more money) all items here. I'm single, no kids, one rug rat that is my dog and he eats more than a goat. So, we in some way are the same. Unfortunately (and I am going to get hit hard by this comment), women are the root to all evil...hence why I am single lol.

    The best place for you to start out at is with friendships. Building such relationships can withstand even the worst (personal) nuclear blast. If you're like me, trusting few, that can be a good thing as you wont get screwed too much more. So, I do feel for you and know somewhat of what you're going through and you got a friend here.
  4. ozarkgoatman

    ozarkgoatman Resident goat herder


    Life has a way of throwing curves once in a while. I hope that everything will work out for the best. [cmfrt]

  5. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Blackjack, I feel for you. That is horrible. I hope that your disability kicks in soon. I cannot begin to grasp what starting over would be like, and I hope to never have to face anything like that. I have friends and family that have faced it, and it seems like they struggle for a while then get back on their feet. That was a pretty shitty thing she did to you. While we often talk about the fecal material hitting the oscillator, you are truly facing it. I will send good thoughts and prayers your way, and I am sure that you will navigate your way through this minefield. Develop a course of action, and stick to the plan. You will make it. [chopper]
  6. groovy mike

    groovy mike Immortal

    1<SUP>st</SUP> – that SUX in a big way. It hurts and its not fair.
    2<SUP>nd</SUP> – there may still be hope of putting it back together. My wife and I had a rough time, at one point she was not interested in the marriage but we worked through that. It took a a lot of work but it can be done

    3rd -IF you decide that it is over. Then you have something that many don’t ever get. You have a clean slate and golden opportunity before you. Dude, with no wife and no mortgage you can pick up and go ANYWHERE, do ANYTHING, ANYTIME.

    How about live in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com[​IMG]LOT</st1:place> but I was just not willing to give up on the marriage. The point is that as long as YOU want it to work, there is still hope. Only if BOTH of you give up, is it over.

    <font face=" /><st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Namibia</st1:place></st1:country-region> and shoot leopard out your bedroom window – do it. Want to fish <st1:State w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Alaska</st1:place></st1:State> all summer – do it. Want to move to <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Belize</st1:place></st1:country-region> and make yourself the wealthiest man in the village supporting a maid, a cook, and a laundress on your disability payment? Then you got nothing stopping you. The only thing holding you back at this point is the limit of your willingness to make it happen. You could go build Gummer’s Graboid theme park in <st1:State w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Arizona</st1:place></st1:State> and let tourists pretend they’re real while you use their money to fund your retreat named Perfection.
    <FONT size=3>
    <FONT size=3>>>>Edit: I''m not sure what is happening with my post - everytime I try to edit a typo something disappears from the original or the fonts change....<<<
  7. kckndrgn

    kckndrgn Moderator Moderator Founding Member

    That sucks man. Hope those disability checks start coming in soon. I'll keep ya in my prayers.

    Don't worry about set backs, just think of them as "learning opportunities" :)
  8. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    I have a genuine sorrow for the loss of your love and the feeling of betrayal that I hope you will someday overcome.

    I would add (a personal) caution GM's #2. There is a fine line between your true love/wanting to get back together and her stalking me/won't let me go which is all a matter of perspective. Be very careful when treading those waters, as it takes little for a lady to convince others that your love for her is her (new found) fear of you.

    You're not really "starting over" (unless she took everything) - you're just readjusting. Reassess your inventory and its value and look inside to decide what you want so that you can take the first steps to achieving your goals.
  9. badkarma

    badkarma ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

    keep your chin up, you're a fighter....or you wouldn't be here.
    when life throws you that curve ball....choke up on the bat and swing for the fence.
  10. Blackjack

    Blackjack Monkey+++

    Thanks for all the encouragement folks.

    Mike and Tracy....... as far as the getting back together thing goes..... not now, no way after this would I even consider it an option. I'm done with it. I'm starting to think a little like Mike was suggesting, eventually I'll be able to do a lot of stuff that I wouldn't have otherwise.
  11. Tango3

    Tango3 Aimless wanderer

    Dayuuuuum man...I feel for you... perhaps you can take comfort in doing the right thing (imho) sticking by her through her addiction...even though she turned on you while you are in a vulnerable position(disabled for work)..don't be a stranger if ya gotta vent and blow your nose on your sleeve I'm sure any and all monkeys will listen.If some outta hand effluent hits the fan I Don't think any monkeys would leave you wandering hungry( I wouldn't)..
    Just Dayuuum! That sux blackjack, but life aint over yet...
  12. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Hang in, old sock, you can do it. I started over at 50 with 20K of unsecured debt and no job. I've ground it all around for a long while putting a bit away as often as I could (and maximized economy of living) and I can now do a double wide on dry ground instead of a single wide in the swamp. Takes determination and a plan, but it most definitely can be done, and done cleanly.

    And since I have no friends, here is where I'm talkin.
    Bullshit. What do you think you have here, enema bags?
  13. WestPointMAG

    WestPointMAG Monkey++

    Dude you like live down the street from me if you get in dire need let me know and I will try to slide something your way. I have been out work for 3 years and start a new job tomorrow a I do not know when my first pay check will be but when I get it I can front you a little scratch to hold you over.
  14. groovy mike

    groovy mike Immortal

    For what it is worth Black Jack the same thing just happened to a good friend of mine here. After 10 years of marriage she announced that it was over. He never saw it coming. Must be something in the juju waves......
  15. RouteClearance

    RouteClearance Monkey+++ Site Supporter

    I know how you feel, my situation years ago was a lot easier to deal with due to the fact that we were not married and I came to the realization that all I was doing was "enabling" her and her problems.
    Belive me when I say that you will recover from this and there will be a point down the road that you will look back on this and shrug it off.
  16. LondonCalling

    LondonCalling Monkey++

    Blackjack, i feel for you mate , i cannot imagine what you must be going through, emotionaly and mentally.
    But looking back thru the words of encouragement from this thread, you've got mates here!!!!

    "Keep ya chin-up mate"you will come out the other side..the winner!

    London calling to the faraway towns
    Now war is declared - and battle come down
    London calling to the underworld
    The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
    Meltdown expected, the wheat is growing thin
    London is drowning and I, live by the river
  17. TNZ71



  18. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Sorry to hear it man, I know it sucks and takes some time to get your head around but like some have mentioned, once you get through that time it dose open up yet more oprotunities that wouldnt otherwise have been practical. Might be able to find a survival group with a big retreat that needs a care taker to live there and keep the weeds down and vermin out and with being on disability and not tied down could step right in. If its appealing to you and figure how to get the front money then the 'bad' realestate market dose make it a good time to buy and in some areas $10k or so could get you several acres in the boonies to put a house or trailer on and only have to consider your comfort now and not if someone else will go for it, while the disability has obvious down sides it also frees you from worries about the job market in a given area and many of the areas where job markets are worst have cheapest land and low costs of liveing.

    It will suck for a while but get up and breath in and out untill it gets better and can move on, and you will. Just keep in mind that you still have friends here pulling for you.
  19. Quantrill

    Quantrill Monkey++

    Blackjack, if your still here sorry to hear that man but,.......

    She will find out karma is a bitch. I have seen it happen too many times to not believe it. Cosmic justice has a wonderfully wicked sense of humor.

    Keep your wits, and never let the bastards wear you down!
  20. RobertRogers

    RobertRogers Monkey+++

    Life has its ups and downs. I know, I am 47 years old and have been there.

    I was paralyzed for several days at 28 years of age from a work injury. For several months I wasn't even able to walk 100 yards without collapsing in pain. And I am a guy who worked in the woods as a land surveyor and hiked and fished every chance I got.

    But I made it, I had surgery, healed, and now its like nothing happened. In fact, I spent that down time learning a whole new career skill that has propelled me further and faster than if I never was injured and had just stayed in the same old rut. That injury turned out to be one of the luckiest things that ever happened to me.

    In the depths of my despair I overheard someone say "When you are dealt lemons, you make lemonaid".

    Words of wisdom. Start making your lemonaid now. Keep trying, every day do something to make yourself better. 5 years from now you can very well be a far better man than you ever were before all this happened.
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