Please Do Your Part!

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Sep 3, 2006.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.

    You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

    Well, my job is done!
    *I hit the Mother load

    Consider yourself contacted.
  2. Wild Trapper

    Wild Trapper Pirate Biker

    I feel so much better now.
  3. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    That must be your mirror, not the monitor you're looking into.
  4. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    C'mon Ghost....we've been sparring a long time....You can do better than that!

    You're clever...witty...

    Don't disappoint me like this.....[dunno]

  5. Infidel

    Infidel Guest

    Roses Are Red,
    Violets Are Blue,
    I'm A Schizophrenic
    And So Am I
  6. Bear

    Bear Monkey+++ Founding Member Iron Monkey

    Let's see if I can remember this from when we were kids.... :rolleyes:

    I am rubber....
    You are glue....

    Everything you say to me....
    Bounces off ....

    Sticks to you ! " [raspberry]
  7. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Well, you know she is blonde. Probably just forgot to turn the monitor on and so is getting that reflection from the blank screen.

    That any better even if it didnt come from Ghost? lol
  8. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    Did somebody say something? :D
  9. ricdoug

    ricdoug Monkey+++

    They're coming to take me away, Oh Boy!...

    They're coming to take me away. Haha haha hehe he They're coming to take me away! Ric
  10. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    The little men in their funny white coats, they're coming to take me away, haha, hoho --:D
  11. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    There's a unicorn in the's eating flowers...I fed it a rose
  12. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    You sure you ate the right kind of mushrooms on your salad?:eek:
  13. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Extra points is you know what was on the other side of that 45! :D

    yeah yeah...I had it....My dad got it for me...:rolleyes:
  14. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    By James Thurber

    <TABLE cellPadding=8 width="80%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD bgColor=#ffffff>The Unicorn in the Garden

    By James Thurber <HR width="100%">
    Once upon a sunny morning a man who sat in a breakfast nook looked up from his scrambled eggs to see a white unicorn with a golden horn quietly cropping the roses in the garden. The man went up to the bedroom where his wife was still asleep and woke her. "There's a unicorn in the garden," he said. "Eating roses." She opened one unfriendly eye and looked at him. "The unicorn is a mythical beast," she said, and turned her back on him. The man walked slowly downstairs and out into the garden. The unicorn was still there; he was now browsing among the tulips. "Here, unicorn," said the man and pulled up a lily and gave it to him. The unicorn ate it gravely. With a high heart, because there was a unicorn in his garden, the man went upstairs and roused his wife a gain. "The unicorn," he said, "ate a lily." His wife sat up in bed and looked at him, coldly. "You are a booby," she said, "and I am going to have you put in a booby-hatch." The man, who never liked the words "booby" and "booby-hatch," and who liked them even less on a shining morning when there was a unicorn in the garden, thought for a moment. "We'll see about that," he said. He walked over to the door. "He has a golden horn in the middle of his forehead," he told her. Then he went back to the garden to watch the unicorn; but the unicorn had gone away. The man sat among the roses and went to sleep.
    And as soon as the husband had gone out of the house, the wife got up and dressed as fast as she could. She was very excited and there was a gloat in her eye. She telephoned the police and she telephoned the psychiatrist; she told them to hurry to her house and bring a strait-jacket. When the police and the psychiatrist looked at her with great interest. "My husband," she said, "saw a unicorn this morning." The police looked at the psychiatrist and the psychiatrist looked at the police. "He told me it ate a lily," she said. The psychiatrist looked at the police and the police looked at the psychiatrist. "He told me it had a golden horn in the middle of its forehead," she said. At a solemn signal from the signal from the psychiatrist, the police leaped fro m their chairs and seized the wife. They had a hard time subduing her, for she put up a terrific struggle, but they finally subdued her. Just as they got her into the strait-jacket, the husband came back into the house.
    "Did you tell your wife you saw a unicorn?" asked the police. "Of course not," said the husband. "The unicorn is a mythical beast." "That's all I wanted to know," said the psychiatrist. "Take her away. I'm sorry, sir, but your wife is as crazy as a jay bi rd." So they took her away, cursing and screaming, and shut her up in an institution. The husband lived happily ever after. Moral: Don't count your boobies until they are hatched. End
  15. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Gotta go back and read that.....Just got excited seeing Thurber....I loved him back since High School days....Walter many stories...

    Thanks SC! :)
  16. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Oh yeah...and the flip side of that song?

    Same song....


    Think my dad was trying to tell me something back then , or is that where my more than warped sense of humor came from??? :cool:
  17. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    They went out through the revolving doors that made a faintly derisive whistling sound when you pushed them. It was two blocks to the parking lot. At the drugstore on the corner she said, "Wait here for me. I forgot something. I won't be a minute." She was more than a minute. Walter Mitty lighted a cigarette. It began to rain, rain with sleet in it. He stood up against the wall of the drugstore, smoking. . . . He put his shoulders back and his heels together. "To hell with the handkerchief," said Waker Mitty scornfully. He took one last drag on his cigarette and snapped it away. Then, with that faint, fleeting smile playing about his lips, he faced the firing squad; erect and motionless, proud and disdainful, Walter Mitty the Undefeated, inscrutable to the last.
  18. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    pocketa-pocketa-pocketa :D
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