Points to Ponder

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Minuteman, Apr 3, 2007.


  1. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member

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    <FONT size=4><TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Can you cry under water?</TT>


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    <FONT black?><FONT color=black size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>How important does a person have to be before they are considered <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "]<o:p" /></TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>assassinated instead of just murdered?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Why do you have to "put your two cents in".</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Where's that extra penny going?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>buried </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>in for eternity?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Why does a round pizza come in a square box?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>What disease did cured ham actually have?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>How is it that we put man on the moon</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>before we figured out it would be</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>a good idea to put wheels on luggage?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>like </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>every two hours?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>If a deaf person has to go to court,</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>is it still called a hearing?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>binoculars </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>to look at things on the ground?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>you </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>naked anyway.</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>horrible </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>crisp,</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>which no decent human being would eat?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>why is there a stupid song about him?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Can a hearse carrying a corpse</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>drive in the carpool lane?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>coconut, </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>why can't he fix a hole in a boat?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>both </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>dogs!</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>didn't he </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>just buy dinner?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>vegetables, </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>what is baby oil made from?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>If electricity comes from electrons,</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>does morality come from morons?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>tune?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Why did you just try singing the two songs above?</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>***</TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>you, </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the </TT>


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    <TT><FONT color=black><FONT size=4>window?</TT>


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  2. gillman7

    gillman7 Monkey+++

    If sign makers go on strike, what do they carry on the picket line?

    If a sheep gets wet, does it shrink?
     
  3. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is fog horn made out of?

    A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. Now explain your Work Station.

    Does fuzzy logic tickle?

    Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

    If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?

    How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

    I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

    Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

    What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

    What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?
     
  4. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Do you walk to school or carry your lunch?

    Why is a mouse when it spins?

    What's the difference between an orange?
     
  5. Blackjack

    Blackjack Monkey+++

    Was my anyeurism the intended effect, or were you distracted while typing. ;)
     
  6. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member

    [fnny]
     
  7. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member

    Why do drive up ATM machines have braille on the keypads?

    Why do men have nipples?

    Why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
     
  8. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    But I painted it blue.
     
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