1. The Topic of the Month for April 2017 is "Store what you use, use what you store." Please join the discussion on the Survival Topic of the Month forum.

Political Science for Dummies

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Quigley_Sharps, Jan 10, 2011.


  1. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    <table style="width: 100%;" class="MsoNormalTable" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 1.5pt; width: 100%;" width="100%"> <table class="MsoNormalTable" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"> <table class="MsoNormalTable" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top">


    <table class="MsoNormalTable" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="3"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    DEMOCRAT
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have two cows.
    Your neighbor has none.
    You feel guilty for being successful.

    You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    REPUBLICAN
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have two cows.
    Your neighbor has none.
    So?



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    SOCIALIST
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    COMMUNIST
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt;">
    You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it.
    It is expensive and sour.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have two cows. Under the new farm program, the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    AMERICAN CORPORATION
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
    You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
    You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
    Your stock goes up.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    FRENCH CORPORATION
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine.
    Life is good



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    JAPANESE CORPORATION
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
    They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
    Most are at the top of their class at cow school.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    GERMAN CORPORATION
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    ITALIAN CORPORATION
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
    You break for lunch. Life is good.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt 0.75pt 0.75pt 0in; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have two cows. You drink some vodka.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You drink some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    TALIBAN CORPORATION
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
    You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature'
    s private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    IRAQI CORPORATION
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have two cows. They go into hiding.
    They send radio tapes of their mooing.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">

    POLISH CORPORATION

    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt 0.75pt 0in; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    BELGIAN CORPORATION
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic.
    Sometimes the cow thinks she's French, other times she's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
    The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
    The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
    The cow dies happy.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    FLORIDA CORPORATION
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the
    black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the bestlooking cow.



    </td></tr> <tr> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 31, 240);">
    CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
    </td> <td style="padding: 0.75pt; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(191, 195, 249);">
    You have millions of cows. They make real
    California cheese. Only five speak English. Most are illegal.
    Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.


    </td></tr></tbody></table>


    </td></tr></tbody></table>



    </td></tr></tbody></table>


    </td></tr></tbody></table>
     
  2. Hispeedal2

    Hispeedal2 Nay Sayer

    Priceless!!
     
  3. Disciple

    Disciple Monkey+

    HILARIOUS., Sad but true Thats the way it is
     
survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary
17282WuJHksJ9798f34razfKbPATqTq9E7