In a local sports bar trivia quiz the other night, I lost by one point. The question was, where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa. One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans and African Americans is not the correct answer I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name. A new Muslim clothing shop opened here in Lighthouse Point, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools A friend of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I asked, "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother has a moustache" Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on FaceBook. I said "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4000 Muslims have added me as a friend!! Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk ... "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.” The Red Cross knocked at my door asking if I could help towards the floods in Pakistan . I said I would love to, but my hose only reaches the bottom of the driveway.
Gun Joke A guy cruises thru a stop sign and gets pulled over by a local policeman. Guy hands the cop his driver’s license, insurance verification, plus his concealed carry permit. “Okay, Mr. Smith,” the cop says. “I see your CCW permit. Are you carrying today?” “Yes, I am.” “Well then, better tell me what you got.” Smith says, “Well, I got a .357 revolver in my inside coat pocket. There’s a 9mm semi-auto in the glove box. And, I’ve got a .22 magnum derringer in my right boot.” “Okay,” the cop says. “Anything else?” “Yeah, back in the trunk, there’s an AR15 and a shotgun. That’s about it.” “Mr. Smith, are you on your way to or from a gun range...?” “Nope.” “Well then, what are you afraid of...?” “Not a damn thing...”
