Practical Jokes and Jokers

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by kellory, Jan 28, 2014.


  1. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    I try to see the humor in most things, but not all humor is light hearted. Practical jokes fall into that category. They can be funny, devious, brutal, even mean (as long as no one gets hurt).
    what's your best gag you've played, or been played on you?:lol:
     
  2. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey..... Moderator Site Supporter++

    We had an outside sales gal.... and for two weeks we kept putting rocks behind her right side front wheel. Every time she would back out of her parking lot (little 4 cyl) it was dramatic... pretty funny stuff till she realized what we were doing and she flipped out. Yes she was a curly headed blonde and was slow to the fact that we had messed with her.
     
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  3. Falcon15

    Falcon15 Falco Peregrinus

    When we were first married my wife and I did not plan on children. One April 1st, I open my lunch bag and inside (in a ziplock bag) is a pregnancy test, showing POSITIVE. I frantically dialed her cellular phone, but she did not answer. This kept up for 4 hours...finally I got her on the line. Turns out it was an April Fools joke! She had a colleague, who was 6 months pregnant at the time take the test to ensure a positive result. However, God got even with her. 5 months later she was pregnant with our eldest child.
     
  4. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    A guy at work had a bad habit of walking off with other people's snacks.
    Our old timer got fed up with it, and wired a small canned ham to a transformer and zapped him like a cattle fence when he tried to walk off with it. This fool was stupid enough to get zapped twice in two days!
     
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  5. ditch witch

    ditch witch resident bacon hoarder Site Supporter+

    Best prank ever done to me was a roommate slipped Turf Mark into my bodywash. The stuff was blue anyway so I didn't notice until my arm turned blue. I thought it was pretty funny, actually... just glad she didn't put it in my shampoo. :D

    One of the funnier ones I did was in college. One of our friends was having a big party in his dorm. A couple of us removed the doors from some other rooms, frames and all, and then reinstalled them one after the other just inside another door. Well not installed them, basically we nailed the bases to the floor and one side to the wall using some scavenged scrap wood. After a while the guy who lived in that room heads home, staggeringly drunk, opens his door, and there's another door. He kinda shook his head, then opened it. And there's another door. He opens it and sees yet another door. It was the last one but he was so wasted, he was like Eff it, laid down in the door frames and went to sleep.
     
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  6. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    As I said, not all jokes are light hearted. My grandfather was a quartermaster for a major elite construction company. Their brag was that whichever guy got to the job site first, was foreman for the day. They were all that good, and they knew it, so did their customers.
    But back in the day, major tools were company tools, and had to. E checked into, and out of company storage. Besides being a master carpenter, my grandfather ran the tool room.
    He was good at what he did, and took pride in his job, but someone else had a tool room key, and tools were coming up missing! This was very bad, and could have cost him his position, and maybe his job.
    He rigged up a bucket to spill when the door was opened, full of canary yellow paint, a sign to drop, and an old time blow torch to fire up.
    One morning, he arrived to find his trap had been sprung! There was a large puddle of yellow paint with a few dry prints in the middle of the.puddle, and the sign hanging at eye level read " next time it will be gasoline".
    There was never another break in.....[LMAO][LMAO]
     
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  7. ditch witch

    ditch witch resident bacon hoarder Site Supporter+

    Used to have show horses, stabled them at this pretty nice place. There were communal tack rooms. Back then I was rather trusting so I left my stuff in an unlocked tackbox. Well it seemed I could not keep enough Show Sheen or fly spray on hand, and I had a pretty good idea who was using it. I asked her, and of course she denied it. So one afternoon I dumped a nice bit of Koppertox in my almost empty bottles. Koppertox is brilliant green and stains big time. Sure enough, the next day one of her grey Arabs was sporting several nice sized green patches on his side. She was pretty mad about it, heh.

    All these things start coming back to me.... man it's no wonder I don't have any friends. :rolleyes:
     
  8. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    It gets funnier. I used this technique after a break in at our family farm (where we hunt) some one had broken in and taken several long guns, and breaking the case they were in.

    I rigged up a gizmo box ( if buzzed, flashed a few LEDs, and triggered a strip of flashbulbs left over from a Polaroid camera.) A trashed sattilite TV dish from alongside the road was placed on the roof, ( not hidden, but not real obvious) and an electro magnet on the ceiling, that released if the door opened. The magnet held a sign that read, " congratulations a$$hole, you picture has just been uploaded to the authorities. Have a nice day!" ( the long guns were returned outside the cabin, with only minor damage):lol:
     
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  9. Snake_Doctor

    Snake_Doctor Call me Snake...

    Hmm I once convinced my ex I was gay for pierce brosnan. Or the time I wanted to get away from a clingy girl I faked my own death. That wasn't as easy as it sounds. And she pelted me with packs of cookies when she saw me in the supermarket a year later. It was quite a scene. I did what any red blooded man would do. I ran. Like forest gump ran.
     
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  10. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey..... Moderator Site Supporter++

    I had a guy in the office across from me send shitty emails about a project.... I asked him to be nice.... he sent me more shitty emails.... I warned him to be nice.... he said... f_ you. I filled his office up to the ceiling with trash, traffic cones, lumber and assorted warehouse stuff in about 15 minutes. He came back into town the next day and looked into his office thru the window...shook his head and looked at me..... I told him he should play nice. He walked to the conference room and spent the rest of the day...... then called me a F'r ..:rolleyes:
     
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  11. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    I have pulled several pranks but OPSEC limits what I can pass on....;)

    we had a guy in the service who kept his room spotless but made a mess of the common areas and didn't do his share to keep them clean for inspections... so one day prior to inspection we stuck a thumbtack in the side of a can of powdered foot spray and tossed it in his room... as he chased the perp we went back and removed the can... he spent a while re-cleaning his room and the FTO thought it was well planned...
     
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  12. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    We are installing some submar mats over electric power cables running across the bay in Orange Beach. The water has been in the mid-thirties and we are using a Diver's Hot-water machine to pump a continuous flow of 110 degree water into the diver's suits to keep them warm. We also have a small electric submersible pump used to prime the jet pumps with raw water right out of the Bay. I mentioned hooking the submersible up to the hot-water line midway through a dive mission and of course the Seamonkeys had to do it. You could have heard the diver scream in Washington! Later, after Kelly quite whining, I told him about putting Blue Easter-egg dye in the hot water reservoir and I now have another diver that looks like a Smurf. Wonder what will be next, jellyfish or mercaptan.
     
  13. cdnboy66

    cdnboy66 Monkey++

    we once filled an office with full balloons.....that was worth the effort.
    I think we taped a pin to the outside of his door
     
  14. cdnboy66

    cdnboy66 Monkey++

    the old confetti in a drawer is always fun.
    to get around a locked drawer, put the confetti in a regular envelope, seal it, shake all the confetti to one end of the envelope, rip the other end off
    insert ripped end into top of drawer, tilt, rip off end that is not in drawer and blow into envelope

    I did do this once to a colleague, we used to prank back and forth, and he was adamant I wasn't getting into his desk while he was away on holidays. To this day he still laughs about it

    of note, the mylar confetti from the dollar store sticks to everything for months because of the static
     
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  15. Snake_Doctor

    Snake_Doctor Call me Snake...

    A dental visit resulted in me being out of it so my team mate paraded me all over a certain cityin the islands, had me singing karaoke, tried to find a dress to fit me, tg I'm bigger than the women there, got a tattoo of a teddy bear on my butt, and left me between a pair of Asian ladies. I woke up not knowing where I was or why my butt hurt (Had never done the tatt thing), and found the camera on the dresser. Saw the whole thing and plotted my revenge. One guy was smart and just went with me to get strawberry shortcake and my little pony on his butt (one on each cheek), I sent another guys wife his love letters and pic from other women, got the rest in various ways. The best was When I loaded one guys locker up with dresses, high heels, wigs, lingerie and used cosmetics from a thrift shop. The day of an inspection. He lost the promotion he wanted so badly. Hey I gave them all a chance to go get tats and only one did it. Wow. I'm a vindictive and bad person, lol.
     
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  16. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member

    In my industry we spend weeks at a time in remote parts of the world hunting dinosaurs or pulling dragons from the ground. (drilling oil and gas wells). So naturally boredom breeds a lot of very creative ways to have fun. Here are a few of the best that I recall.
    We built a large pit on the edge of location and filled it with fresh water. This was our swimming pool. The guys bought blow up rafts and every day you would see some roughneck or another floating in the pool. One of the guys returned from stateside and had bought (and smuggled in) a life sized blow up sex doll. That was his pool float. One driller we had would get off his tour (shift) at noon and instead of going straight to the mess hall to eat he would go to his room and shower first. A couple of the guys were waiting and listened for him to get in the shower. They snuck in and one guy tossed back the shower curtain and tossed in the sex doll, which the guy by instinct caught. The other guy snapped a picture!
    We had all kinds of fun with that doll (practical joke type fun, not it's intended purpose fun) One time we went into another guys room while he was working. He had his personal things around his bunk, a picture of his wife etc. One guy took his shirt off and got under the covers, we put the sex doll in next to him and he pulled the covers up to hide his face with just his hand out in a "stop" gesture. Then we took the picture. Of course you couldn't see his face so no way to know it wasn't the guy whose bunk it was. We printed the pic and stuck it up all over the rig and even in the office in town.
     
  17. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member

    Working overseas we traveled back and forth on a regular basis and a lot of mischief ensued in transit. A bunch of guys just coming out of the desert, or the jungle after 30 or more days are inclined to get pretty wild. The guy who booked our plane tickets had a heck of a time. There were several roughnecks who were banned for life from one airline or another. He had to keep a list on his desk of who was banned from which carrier. Mostly it had to do with getting drunk and loud. It was almost certain that there would be at least one drunk and loud guy on any transatlantic flight coming out of the Middle East.
    I had a good friend of mine that was the mechanic on my rig. We usually traveled together but I had to work over. When we were getting ready to leave the next hitch he was telling me that he hoped we didn't have the same crew on the London to Dallas flight as last time. I asked him why. He said that he had gotten really drunk and was loud and obnoxious. The stewardesses were all scolding him and finally the co-pilot came back and threatened to have him strapped into his seat! So he was trying to be really low key when we boarded the flight.
    I was sitting in the back near the galley and was going back to get refills on my Jack and Coke. I got to talking to a stewardess and after awhile I asked her if it was hard dealing with the drunks. She said it was the hardest part of her job, mainly because policy said that they had to be nice and try to reason with them etc. I told her "How would you like to get even with one?" I told her about my buddy and how he had made a fool of himself and was worried he would be recognized. I pointed him out to her. He was slouched down in his seat with his hat over his eyes trying to sleep and not be noticed. I told her "Next time you go down that aisle just stop and ask him if he was on this flight a couple months ago." So she did and of course he denied ever flying that airline. She said "You sure look familiar, you sure you weren't on this flight before?" He was "No Maam, wasn't me." She came back to the galley and was laughing about it. A couple of the other stewardesses asked her what was funny so she told them. They had to go by and ask him the same thing. After awhile the word of our game got out to the business and first class staff and they started coming back. He had a steady stream of stewards and stewardesses coming by and telling him he sure looked familiar. Finally the copilot came back and told him "We better not have any trouble out of you this time!" .I was losing it in the back. It wasn't even the same crew but they all got in on it and they kept him fidgeting and squirming all the way to Dallas. When he found out what I had done he was pezzed. He wouldn't talk to me for weeks!

    Another good airline prank was when a guy with us got an upgrade to business class. We would all swarm the counters in the lounges hoping to get our company bought economy ticket upgraded to business class. British Airways, pre 9/11 anyway was good about bumping up us frequent flyers for free if there were empty seats available. We got to Heathrow one day and got to the lounge for our 4 hour layover. We went straight to the counter and was told that there were no more seats available in business class. We went to the bar and there was this guy we traveled with and he had got the last upgrade. He was bragging about it and flaunting it to us. A bit later he laid down on one of the couches and went to sleep. I stole over and gently slipped his boarding pass out of his shirt pocket. I took it to the counter and told the agent that I had changed my mind that I wanted to change it back to economy class so that I could sit with all my friends. She asked what seat I would like and I told her as far to the back as you can go. So she changed it to the last aisle in economy. I slipped it back into his pocket and we left to board the flight. When I boarded the flight he was at the gate red faced and arguing up and down with the agent that he was supposed to be in business class!
     
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  18. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    The Sutcliffe brothers are two of my favorite people, both are decorated honest to god war heroes and as basically no BS kind of guys that you would ever want to meet...until they get together. We were salvaging a big capsized oil barge off the coast of Texas after Katrina and Kenny booby-trapped Mike's office chair so that when he sat in it, one of those canned air horns started blasting and blew until it was completely out of pressure with no way to stop it. It made it funnier that it was in his motel room about three in the morning when he tripped it and everybody on that floor came to see what the commotion was. The next night, Mike made a deal with the motel staff to move ALL the excess furnishings at the Motel into Kenny's room...he came in from a long day, dead tired and couldn't get into his room...The next night, Mike's room was filled completely with those giant inflatable Santa Clauses with not an inch of space left...
     
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  19. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    I tied a piece of monofiliment to a teddy-bear and pushed it to the bottom of the bed under the covers and was lying in bed with my wife watching a scary movie when I suddenly asked "What the hell was that"? and pointed to the foot of the bed. She immediately shifted into panic mode and when I pulled the string and dragged the bear towards her under the covers, she nearly fainted ...
     
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  20. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    You know those strings that you tie to doors that explode when you pull them? Bug has the smallest bladder of anyone I have ever known so when she returns from anywhere, the first stop is the restroom, where she has developed a most amazing coordinated dropping of pants lowering of toilet seat and use of facilities in what looks to be a totally air-borne maneuver; it is really something to witness...except for the time that I tied one of those exploding things to the lid of the toilet....now that was funny, I don't care where you are from.
     
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