Practical Jokes and Jokers

The Mr. is in his mid 40s so naturally he's growing despondant over things that come with 40s... grey hairs where they have no business being, aches and pains... and apparently testicular droopage.

So one morning when I was having trouble sleeping I snuck into the bathroom at around 3 am and added a lot of extra water to the toilet. At 4 AM he got up to get ready to work. Goes into the bathroom and sits down, and I hear this stream of swearing start up. Partly because the water was cold on his tender bits but mostly coz he thought old age had turned him into a tea bagger. My suggestions of having a ball tuck did little to improve his mood.

It was REALLY hard to make myself tell him the truth.

 

My wife thought nothing of flushing while I was seated so. I had to explain that bit of me hang down much more than bits of her, and she better never do that again....

 

Disqualified! That's funny, what did you do to keep the toilet from flushing when you added the water?

 

You don't have women who use half a wad of TP every time they pee living with you, do you. Isn't too hard to get one jammed up enough that it won't drain. Our exchange student managed to do it at least once a week.

 

My grandfather, had a reoccouring pack of fools, who showed up every bugger's night and tipped over his outhouse.
This was a nicely constructed, two holer, with racks for reading material, Lanterns to read by, and and a few nice touches, just to keep the ladies happy.
It was built on runners, so the tractor could move it easily, when the hole filled up, or the smell got to be too much.
My grandfather was a master carpenter, and put skill into things, even an outhouse.
Year after year, these same thugs, would approach from the fields in darkness, roll over the outhouse, and often break something like the gingerbreading in the eves. Once they started a fire when a lantern smashed.
My grandfather had had enough.

Just before dark, he moved the outhouse forward, toward the house, and toward the only lights.
In a few hours, the hoodlums made their approach through darkness once again, then that final run to throw over the outhouse!
Only this time they met the hole before their mission was complete! In nearly total darkness, in the very shadow of their target, this pack of fools went swimming.
and they never came back again.

 

LOL...makes me shrivel at the thought...

 

Kellory that reminds me of one this old guy who used to own the feedstore liked to tell. He and his buddies were out one Fri night and drove by the football coach's house, and I'm going to butcher this because I don't remember all the details now... one of the guys said the coach was in the outhouse so they sneak down the hill and tip the thing over. Only it wasn't the coach in the outhouse, it was the coach's super hot daughter that this old guy had a major crush on. Of course she comes out madder than a wet cat. He liked to say she got even with him eventually... when she married him.

 

I'd be more concerned with Mr. Hanky meeting the boys than I would about a little cold water.

 

Mr. Hanky?

 

Mr. Hankey the christmas poo, he loves me, I love you. Therefore vicariously he loves you (I can make a Mr. Hankey too! phrrrft)
Mr. Hankey the christmas poo. Christmas leaves, he must leave too. Flush him down but he's never goooooooone!!!! His smell and his spirit lingers oooooooooonnnnnn!!!!