Punny stuff...

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by E.L., Aug 12, 2005.


  1. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    :lol:
     
  2. TLynn

    TLynn Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Tracy I enjoyed your post a lot.

    By the way I hope you don't mind ---- the title should read "Funny stuff" not "Punny stuff"

    Carry on
     
  3. TLynn

    TLynn Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    2nd try at a come back :lol:

    Heck if I can remember what I originally tried to post but I think it went something like this.

    YOU GO GIRL!!!
     
  4. ghrit

    ghrit Old, mean, and nasty Administrator Founding Member

    Some punny, punny, chokes there, me lass. b::
     
  5. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Punny Stuff

    *A member posted ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make someone smile. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.


    *Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank -- proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.


    *A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."


    *Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.One says to the other, "Are you all right?"

    "No, I lost an electron!"

    "Are you sure?"

    "Yeah, I'm positive!"


    *Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's novocaine during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.


    *A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

    "But why?," they asked, as they moved off.

    "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."


    *Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying three dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "Sorry, gentlemen, only two carrions allowed per passenger."


    *A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins--if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."


    *Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath, this made him a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.


    *These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him, so the rival florist hired Hugh Mac Taggert, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to pursue them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store saying he would be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, proving that, only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.
     
  6. Conagher

    Conagher Dark Custom Rider Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    :lol:
     
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