Questions That Haunt Me

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Ganado, Jun 8, 2015.

  1. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    How important does a person have to be before they are considered
    assassinated instead of just murdered?

    Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

    Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

    What disease did cured ham actually have?

    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
    They're going to see you naked anyway.

    Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

    Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    “Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish others.”
  2. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    Doctors leave the room, while You change, because they do Not remember you, accept from you Records, and use that time, to refresh, their memory with your Medical History... Duh....
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2015
    chelloveck and Mike like this.
  3. Bear

    Bear Monkey+++ Founding Member Iron Monkey

    Lol @Ganado .... yeah... like if Love is blind..... why is lingerie so popular???¿? hmmmmmmmm
    T. Riley, Tracy, Ganado and 7 others like this.
  4. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    @BTPost ypu big galoot its meant to be funny.... tongue n cheeky
    @Bear. That is a good one .... more haunting questions!
    Yard Dart likes this.
  5. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

    As Rikki Bobbi said.... "if you aint first, your last" [LMAO]
    Ganado likes this.
  6. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    And why do they call it "victoria's secret"? She ain't hiding much....:rolleyes:
    Dont likes this.
  7. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I eat vegetables. My friends are not vegetables.

    All hail Ganado!

    We are not worthy!

    So, where does you lap go when you stand up? Lapland?
    And why does the Dept. of Defense have a First-Strike Capability?
    What is the speed of darkness?
    Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?
    If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"
    And who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of its butt."
    If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
    If a circus is an array of cunning stunts, what's a whorehouse?
    If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
    Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
    If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, florists deflowered, bakers defloured, baseball players debased, ex-husbands debrided, and dry cleaners decreased?

    (Fun game! I eat cocoanut now,)
  8. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    I'll never be able to sleep now with all those burning questions!
  9. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I eat vegetables. My friends are not vegetables.

    Have a cocoanut. Works for me.
    Ganado and BTPost like this.
  10. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    Wut! Coconuts pfft...
    Beside I thought you were drinking minty tequila?
  11. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I eat vegetables. My friends are not vegetables.

    Out of cocoanut.

    Then I eat cocoanut. Very crunchy. Shell makes good tooth floss.

    Plus my breath is as fresh as Irish Spring.
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2015
    Ganado likes this.
  12. UncleMorgan

    UncleMorgan I eat vegetables. My friends are not vegetables.

    Flammable, but fresh.
    Ganado likes this.
  13. JohnSteven

    JohnSteven CHUNKY MUNKY

    WHY do we park in a driveway?
    WHY do we drive on a parkway?
    Ganado likes this.
  14. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    Because unwrapping the gift is an essential part of enjoying the gift...
    Yard Dart and Ganado like this.
  15. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

    That is an awesome question. C -S -/ S -C - I got it...
    Yard Dart likes this.
  16. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    And why is it, the less of it there is, the more it costs?:eek::cautious:
  17. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    You've obviously never given your significant other a thong and bikini top hand crafted with paracord.

    550 Paracord US GSA Compliant Contractor 25 Feet 7 5M | eBay

    Via:Paracord Thong Bikini Bottom
    or paracord bikini top:
    Via: Paracord Thong Bikini Bottom

    Try crocheting some paracord know you want to...and your mrs will love you for it!

    Real Men Crochet Paracord, Too | Living Ready Online

    Free Crochet Pattern - Survival Bracelet
    Witch Doctor 01, Yard Dart and Ganado like this.
  18. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    chelloveck likes this.
  19. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    I don't know, Ganado. It truly is a miraculous. But I do have a theory though. Guns, without some human agent operating them are unlikely to harm anyone. There are plenty of people wandering around gun shows, who look at, but do not touch guns, and they are not the agents of gun-show shootings. There is one common recipe for gun show shootings though...and that is a human agent with a gun (or guns ) on their person, and under their control who cause the gun to be discharged.

    Removing the gun from the person...or the person from the gun....makes for a much safer gun show environment. But in the USA, that is never going to fly.

    5 hurt in accidental shootings at 3 U.S. gun shows

    Ganado likes this.
  20. DarkLight

    DarkLight Live Long and Prosper - On Hiatus Site Supporter

    That's just crazy talk.
    Ganado and Yard Dart like this.
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