Rules for Driving in the South

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ghostrider, Jan 22, 2006.


  1. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Rules for Driving in the South
    * A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

    * Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Southerner never uses them.

    * Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

    * Tailgating is a "must" to all Southerners.

    * Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered "going with the flow."

    * The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

    If you MUST use turn signals, here's how to do it, Southern Style.

    * Signal only when you feel like it.

    * If you feel you must use your directionals, make sure they blink only once, then turn them off.

    * Signal only after you change lanes.

    * When driving straight, make sure that at least one directional is blinking at all times. This keeps the drivers behind you on their toes.

    * Signal as you approach a curve in the road.

    * If you intend to make a right turn, use the left signal.

    * If you intend to make a left turn, use the right signal.

    * When approaching an intersection, signal to turn and slow down. When other drivers or pedestrians cross in front of you, turn off the signal and go straight.

    * When you intend to make a turn, start signaling approximately 6-8 blocks before your turn. Slow down for each block as you approach them.

    * Always apply your brakes way before you signal.

    * When making a left turn at a busy red light, wait for the light to turn green before you turn on your signal.

    * Wait until after you have started to turn or change lanes to use your signals.

    * If you must use hand signals instead of your directionals, use your right hand or have your passenger do it out the right side window.
     
  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Lots of southern drivers up here lately.
     
  3. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    Yep....Welcome to the South...and it's worse here than in Charleston...It's like everyone should just KNOW where you're going...and the maximum speed limit here is 45 on A1A, coming on the island...I get on 14th st...and people are riding almost on my bumper....I feel like stopping..getting out..and shouting..."You are on an ISLAND..Where are you in such a hurry to get to????? It's SMALL!" sheeeeesh.... :rolleyes:
     
  4. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Don't you just hate it when people won't get out of your way!!!!
    [peep] [peep] [peep] [peep]
     
  5. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    No...apprentlly, because I DO the speed limit here ...on the island...(all bets are off on the interstate) I am in other's way.....

    They honk at me...ride my rear end...and just generally irritate me to no end.....

    I've seen the revenue from speeding tickets here.....I'm not doing it.....Hell..it's only 14 miles long and 2 miles wide! Where ARE they going in such a hurry???
     
  6. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member


    Off island --- :D
     
  7. BigUglyOne

    BigUglyOne Monkey+++ Founding Member

    All those folks must drive in Charlotte !
     
  8. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    Smarty pants......










    [ROFL]
     
  9. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    :lol:
     
  10. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    The #1 rule for driving in the south (or anywhere else) is to keep a good eye out for the lady putting on her pantyhose, her makeup, and talking on her cell phone while driving.

    [peep]

    Especially if you are on a small island.........and she is drinking coffee too! [peep] [peep]
     
  11. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    Excuse me???????????

    ahem..... :eek:













    I don't wear pantyhose.. [raspberry]
     
  12. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    :shock: Just a coffeecup?
     
  13. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    [ROFL]


    Hardly...

    But panty hose are a form of torture I choose to not put myself thru.....

    I have been known to talk on the phone...apply lipstick and drink coffee on the phone...but only here on my island where I am doing 25 mph...and before you ask...I have never had a ticket , nor caused an accident...ever.

    I did get hit by a drunk Russian, with no license, no insurance one time....only accident I've been in....
     
  14. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    "White Russian?"

    And, how do you get that seatbelt around the coffee cup?

    In further examination of your avatar, you look just a little too happy/excited/relaxed all at the same time. What exactly is happening as you sink into that cup? [camo]
     
  15. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member



    Jacuzzi jets.



















    holy crap..did I type that out loud??? :oops: :oops: :rolleyes:
     
  16. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member


    Sure it isn't scuba bubbles?

    (Yeah, I have a streak of wise a** in me.)
     
  17. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    :lol: [camo]
     
  18. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Well...crap..thought I might get home in time for some editing..... ;)


    Oh well....I yam what I yam.... [beer]






    [ROFL]
     
  19. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    Really???? :shock:


    COLOR Me Surprised.......


    [rofllmao]
     
  20. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Yeah, I try to keep mine hidden though.
     
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