Rules for Driving in the South

Rules for Driving in the South
* A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

* Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Southerner never uses them.

* Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

* Tailgating is a "must" to all Southerners.

* Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered "going with the flow."

* The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

If you MUST use turn signals, here's how to do it, Southern Style.

* Signal only when you feel like it.

* If you feel you must use your directionals, make sure they blink only once, then turn them off.

* Signal only after you change lanes.

* When driving straight, make sure that at least one directional is blinking at all times. This keeps the drivers behind you on their toes.

* Signal as you approach a curve in the road.

* If you intend to make a right turn, use the left signal.

* If you intend to make a left turn, use the right signal.

* When approaching an intersection, signal to turn and slow down. When other drivers or pedestrians cross in front of you, turn off the signal and go straight.

* When you intend to make a turn, start signaling approximately 6-8 blocks before your turn. Slow down for each block as you approach them.

* Always apply your brakes way before you signal.

* When making a left turn at a busy red light, wait for the light to turn green before you turn on your signal.

* Wait until after you have started to turn or change lanes to use your signals.

* If you must use hand signals instead of your directionals, use your right hand or have your passenger do it out the right side window.

 

Yep....Welcome to the South...and it's worse here than in Charleston...It's like everyone should just KNOW where you're going...and the maximum speed limit here is 45 on A1A, coming on the island...I get on 14th st...and people are riding almost on my bumper....I feel like stopping..getting out..and shouting..."You are on an ISLAND..Where are you in such a hurry to get to????? It's SMALL!" sheeeeesh....

 

Don't you just hate it when people won't get out of your way!!!!

 

No...apprentlly, because I DO the speed limit here ...on the island...(all bets are off on the interstate) I am in other's way.....

They honk at me...ride my rear end...and just generally irritate me to no end.....

I've seen the revenue from speeding tickets here.....I'm not doing it.....Hell..it's only 14 miles long and 2 miles wide! Where ARE they going in such a hurry???

 

All those folks must drive in Charlotte !

 

Smarty pants......

 

The #1 rule for driving in the south (or anywhere else) is to keep a good eye out for the lady putting on her pantyhose, her makeup, and talking on her cell phone while driving.



Especially if you are on a small island.........and she is drinking coffee too!

 

Excuse me???????????

ahem.....













I don't wear pantyhose..

 

Just a coffeecup?

 

Hardly...

But panty hose are a form of torture I choose to not put myself thru.....

I have been known to talk on the phone...apply lipstick and drink coffee on the phone...but only here on my island where I am doing 25 mph...and before you ask...I have never had a ticket , nor caused an accident...ever.

I did get hit by a drunk Russian, with no license, no insurance one time....only accident I've been in....

 

"White Russian?"

And, how do you get that seatbelt around the coffee cup?

In further examination of your avatar, you look just a little too happy/excited/relaxed all at the same time. What exactly is happening as you sink into that cup?

 

Jacuzzi jets.



















holy crap..did I type that out loud???

 

Well...crap..thought I might get home in time for some editing.....


Oh well....I yam what I yam....

 

Really????


COLOR Me Surprised.......


[rofllmao]

 

Yeah, I try to keep mine hidden though.