Rules For My Son

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Motomom34, Aug 29, 2017.

  1. Motomom34

    Motomom34 Monkey+++

    This is old but the rules still stand-

    A few favorites from the book Rules for My Unborn Son, Written by Aaron Conrad

    Rules For My Son
    1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.

    2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.

    3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.

    4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.

    5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially in the end zone.

    6. Request the late check-out.

    7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

    8. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.

    9. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.

    10. Don’t fill up on bread.

    11. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.

    12. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.

    13. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.

    14. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.

    15. You marry the girl, you marry her whole family.

    16. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.

    17. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.

    18. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.

    19. Never turn down a breath mint.

    20. In a game of HORSE, sometimes a simple free throw will get ’em.

    21. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.

    22. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.

    23. Thank a veteran. And then make it up to him.

    24. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

    25. Eat lunch with the new kid.

    26. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.

    27. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.

    28. See it on the big screen.

    29. Give credit. Take the blame.

    30. Write down your dreams.

    If you follow the link, the comments have some other great rules
    Rules For My Son

    Or do you have some to add to the list?
  2. Bishop

    Bishop Monkey+++

    Uncle Mack Bishop

    You came in to this world with your name and your word if your word is no good neither your name

    Your son can borrow my car any time

    My dad did his own eulogy his words his voice he had the last word
    duane, Yard Dart, GrayGhost and 2 others like this.
  3. Motomom34

    Motomom34 Monkey+++

    I like that two of the rules are about handshakes. That is such an important thing. It is so simple but if you shake someones hand and it is like a limp noodle, it does leave an impression.
  4. Bishop

    Bishop Monkey+++

    You are right
    duane and Motomom34 like this.
  5. DKR

    DKR Raconteur of the first stripe

    Similar - but a bit different
    You leave this world with nothing, all you really leave behind is your name.

    Praise in public, complain/discipline in private.

    Don't go to the Boss with a 'problem' if you cannot suggest a solution. Odds are, the Boss is more than aware of the issue.
    Dunerunner, duane, Yard Dart and 2 others like this.
  6. Mindgrinder

    Mindgrinder Karma Pirate Ninja|RIP 12-25-2017

    Never pee against the wind.
    Motomom34 likes this.
  7. snake6264

    snake6264 Combat flip flop douchebag

    Never let your enemy off the hook
    Motomom34 and Legion489 like this.
  8. snake6264

    snake6264 Combat flip flop douchebag

    And Alway no matter what your doing in Work or Life Lean into it
    Motomom34 and Ganado like this.
  9. Mountainman

    Mountainman Großes Mitglied Site Supporter+++

    You can forgive but never forget. Screw me enough times and [finger].
    Motomom34, Ganado and Legion489 like this.
  10. hot diggity

    hot diggity Monkey+++ Site Supporter+++

    Be respectful of your elders. They survived being the age you are now, without Google.

    This may be a Southern thing, but it's how we do things.

    Get comfortable using sir and ma'am. If old folks aren't your relatives the correct form of address starts with Mister or Miss.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 31, 2017
    Motomom34 and Ganado like this.
  11. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    THis is such great advice. I was working with a call center a while back and had them insert, sir, Miss or mister into every conversation, their sales went up 28% in 3 weeks. Shocked the heck out of all of them
    Motomom34 likes this.
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