Santa's Cousin.....Bubba Claus

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Dec 4, 2007.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Letter from Santa Claus:

    I regret to inform you that, effective immediately
    ....... I will no longer serve the States of Georgia,
    Florida, Alabama, North and South Carolina, Tennessee,
    Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.
    Due to the overwhelming current population of the
    Earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American
    Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and
    Better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and
    Cookies so keep that in mind.
    However, I'm certain that your children will be in
    Good hands with your local replacement, who happens to
    Be my third cousin, Bubba Claus.
    His side of the family is from the South Pole. He
    Shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys
    And girls; however, there are a few differences
    Between us.

    Differences such as:
    1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your
    Presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his
    Sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys
    Insured by Smith and Wesson."

    2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers
    That children leave an RC cola and Moon Pies on the

    3. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and
    Blitzen..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll
    Hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and

    4. "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw" And you
    Also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I
    Her'd dat"

    5. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus'
    Sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the
    Back with the words "Back Off."

    6. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle
    On 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not
    Be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead,
    You'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and
    The Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus
    And dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each

    And Finally,

    7. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd
    Make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other
    Way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

    Sincerely Yours,
    Santa Claus
  2. kckndrgn

    kckndrgn Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

  3. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

  4. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    For some reason or another Bill Clinton popped into my head in a Santa Suit.
  5. bubbajoe

    bubbajoe Monkey+++

    HHHMMMMM.....Wonder if he is a relative of mine
  6. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Or my neighbor.....

    even my son...
  7. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    You frum de sout? Bwahahahahaha -- [gone]
  8. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    You IZ frum de sout --- :lol:
  9. bubbajoe

    bubbajoe Monkey+++

    relocated city boy neck in training [lolol]
  10. crehberg

    crehberg Monkey+++

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