School - 1957 vs. 2008

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Tracy, Aug 10, 2008.

  1. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

    1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
    2008 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

    Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school..

    1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
    2008 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

    Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

    1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
    2008 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

    Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

    1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
    2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

    Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

    1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
    2008 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

    Pedro fails high school English.

    1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
    2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

    Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

    1957 - Ants die.
    2008- BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

    Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

    1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
    2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
  2. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    It would be funny if it weren't so true
  3. Valkman

    Valkman Knifemaker Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Boy I remember the "Board of Education" that the principal had! We had a teacher who'd grab kids by the shirt and lift them up over his head - scared the crap out of the rest of us! Nowadays the student would say "F&%$ you - you can't touch me".
  4. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    My English Teacher in my Junior year of High School had a "Board of Education"...with holes drilled it in for the least resistance when paddling..

    I never got it, but lived in fear of it even when I was a teen who thought she knew it all.....

    Mr. Wallace was the best teacher I ever had....
  5. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Thank you Connie, that was very nice of you to say and I really looked forward to paddling your bottom...
    Mr. Wallace
  6. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    I'll buy a ticket for that -- [rofllmao]
  7. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    we better retreat, Ghrit. Women are designed to win; men are designed to operate the remote control.
  8. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    OK. Did you retrieve the spycam?
  9. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    Yea for sure.
  10. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    ahem....I'm not invisible you know....[nono]

    He told my grandmother...."She comes in here with that blondine hair, swishing those miniskirts, and dammit , she's the only student I ever had that reads faster than I do, and comprehends what she reads!"

    He said if I didn't buckle down, I'd be going off to college, and the boys would be sitting at the train station , waving goodbye, waiting to go back to "Pine Stump Highl" and it would be all my fault....


    He prepared me more for life, than for the 12th grade...Fantastic educator!
  11. CBMS

    CBMS Looking for a safe place

    I wish my school life was more like 1957... I always feel like i was born 60 years too late.
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