Selling My Stuff if I Die..................

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ColtCarbine, Oct 18, 2012.

  1. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    The older you get and the longer you have been married, the funnier this is…


    One lazy Sunday morning, my wife and I were quiet and thoughtful, sitting around the breakfast table when I said to her unexpectedly, “When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff…immediately.”

    “Now why would you want me to do something like that?” she asked.

    “I figure a woman as fine as yourself would eventually remarry and I don’t want some other a$$hole using my stuff.”

    She looked at me intently and said, “What makes you think I’d marry another a$$hole?”
  2. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    Why bother, dead is dead and you got nothing else to say about it. lol.
    Not only that, but some things you just can't get rid of no matter how much the previous (owner?) loved that particular thing.
    If she finds someone and they really are giddy in love, they are probably going to try to wear some of his stuff out anyway..... [drooling]
  3. -06

    -06 Monkey+++

    LOL, then there is the one where the husband asked her if her next husband would be using his golf clubs--she replied--certainly not my beloved---he is left handed.
    UGRev and ditch witch like this.
  4. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

  5. -06

    -06 Monkey+++

    Then there is the one about the husband gasping some of his last breaths. He wants to confess to his wife of his infidelities with her sister and best friend. She comforts him and whispers in his ear --it is alright dear, lie quietly and let the poison work.
    tacmotusn and oldawg like this.
  6. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey

    Then again, some of the "RELOADS" may have twice the normal UNIQUE.

    What a bang for your going away party!!!!
  7. -06

    -06 Monkey+++

    LOL, that would "learn 'em--durn 'em".
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