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Single?

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by E.L., Mar 31, 2007.


  1. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected:

    A half-gallon of 2% milk,

    A carton of eggs,

    A quart of orange juice,

    A head of romaine lettuce,

    A 2 lb. can of coffee,

    And a 1 lb. package of bacon.

    As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

    While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

    The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

    Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct, but how on earth did you know that?"

    The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly.".
     
  2. gillman7

    gillman7 Monkey+++

    And her reply was "Oh really, well you are drunk!"

    Then he said, "But in the morning, I will be sober, and you will still be ugly"

    [own2]
     
  3. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    [fnny]
     
  4. andy

    andy Monkey+++

    ah, Winston Churchill
     
  5. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    and the single woman says....


    :censored:





    just kidding EL...

    Good one! [winkthumb]
     
  6. E.L.

    E.L. Moderator of Lead Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Maybe so, but PMS is a b*tch.......as she blows the smoke from the barrel of her .45 and looks at the hole between his eyes....

    [LMAO]
     
  7. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member



    I don't know nothin' bout no PMS , Miz Scarlett.... [LMAO]
     
  8. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member



    Sooo many good lines from him....My particular favorite is:

    Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.”
    Churchill: “Madam,If I were your husband I would take it.”
     
  9. andy

    andy Monkey+++

    [LMAO] he's one of my favorites from history

    i was all ready beaten to my favorite but it's quite all right[winkthumb]
     
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