So You Think You Are A Logger???

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Mountainman, Mar 15, 2019.

  1. Mountainman

    Mountainman Großes Mitglied Site Supporter+++


  2. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    Well, I have cut a whole passel of trees down, over the years, but never had any of the issues shown above... and those trees that were beyond my skillset, I got my good friend Chuck Elliott to either do the cutting, or advise me on the cut.. Guess I have been, not Lucky, but careful...
  3. Mountainman

    Mountainman Großes Mitglied Site Supporter+++

    Same here BT and if it is to close to a structure or overhanging it I call in the pros.
  4. TnAndy

    TnAndy Senior Member Founding Member

    Our pines got hit by pine beetle in the late 90's, and we had some fairly large ones within hitting distance of the house. I cut all of them, but used a tractor mounted skidding winch to make dang sure they went where I wanted them to go.

    [​IMG] [​IMG]
  5. Dont

    Dont Just another old gray Jarhead Monkey Site Supporter+++

    A logger friend had to buy his wife a new truck.. Not a happy wife.. She liked that truck.. She got mad at me for laughing. Told her no one got killed and it was ironic that someone who grew up logging would make an error like that..
    If they are close to the house or equipment, I leave them alone. Move the equipment and finish the job. House? Hm, who to call?
    Meat, Mountainman and Gator 45/70 like this.
  6. Thunder5Ranch

    Thunder5Ranch Monkey+++

    Couple hundred feet of good rope or chain and a winch can save tens of thousands of dollars :) Unless it is a 60" diameter red oak 90 feet of trunk to the first branch.......... that is hell bent on falling the opposite direction and snaps the chain and then falls the opposite direction on one of yer chicken houses and nicely compresses it and a 100+ chickens when it lands :( Big hollow spot on the back side just below the front notch that gave way as soon as the front wedge was cut out. No way to know it was there, it thumped solid with hammer and no bulges indicating a hollow......... sometimes it doesn't matter how careful you are $hit Happens.
  7. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    Definetly sounds like experience speaking here.
    I love watching those videos of those 1st time lumber jackers . It's the best damned comedy watching available on the net.
    I've got a couple big poplars I'm going to be taking down soon . I'll make sure I prop up a camera in case I turn out like some of them. Then I can watch it and see exactly where I made my mistake. [LMAO]
  8. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    "I see you are a logger, and not a common bum
    'cause no one but a logger stirs his coffee with his thumb."
  9. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    That is because he lost most of his fingers in Choaker & Chainsaw Accidents....
    deMolay, Dunerunner, TnAndy and 4 others like this.
  10. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    I have fallen lot of trees in my life time , no accidents . some pine trees several hundred feet tall.
    NO job is done in haste .and if it is over my head I seek out a pro for topping the tree ,no sense in being stupid or cheap.
    Well anchored cable or chain or both are valued if the cutter knows what he's doing.
    In some cases I wait for the wind to be going in a direction I can trust and weigh the limbs that might present more of a problem . In some cases the tree will want to twist all the more reason for a longer hinge on the cut . On finding a hollow I stop and get the bosses recommendation , one should always be cognizant of the way the saw is performing, if it starts cutting too easy stop don't keep going . If it should crumble too many thing can go wrong .
    Once I had a oak tree started peeing water at the initial cut , the foreman postponed the cutting for a more skilled crew.
    If there is a potential of a hollow tree it does not cost that much in time to drill with an auger through and confirm your suspicion.
    .I have some poplar that need to come down but they will be pulled down not cut, I know the cores are pithy
  11. Mountainman

    Mountainman Großes Mitglied Site Supporter+++

    Never had a tree fall on anything but had a funny incident with a big oak. Did not know the tree was hollow in the middle and full of water. Cut the notch and started the back cut. When I hit the middle black watery crap sprayed out and completely soaked the front of me.
  12. Ura-Ki

    Ura-Ki Grudge Monkey

    Im my years running the fire crews, i have had the opportunity to fall many a challenging tree. Three will forever remind me of just how crazy things can go! The first one was a spinner, as soon as the back cut neared the center of the face cut, she started spinning as she begun to fall, she went about 20 deg off to the right of the stump as she spun on down, lucky I had backed off a safe distence when she kicked off the stump and back bucked about 20 feet!
    The second one did a barberchair on me as i was just finnishing the face cut, I felt and heard the saw load and let her go and ran for it!
    Third one was a flamer, she was smoking as i started the face cut, and as i was finishing the felling cut, she crowned! Let me tell you, that was something to watch as she came down right where I had wanted!
  13. T. Riley

    T. Riley Monkey+++ Site Supporter++

    I use my father-in-law. He could drop a tree on a beer can. He worked for the Nevada division of Forestry while he was serving time for a casino robbery. Interesting fellow, but he sure knew how to cut a tree.
  14. duane

    duane Monkey+++

    Went to a 52 year old logger's funeral last Sunday. Tree was solid, fell just exactly where he wanted it, he was safely out of the way, but a dead limb fell out of the tree behind him, hit him in the back of the head, and killed him. There is a reason they call them widow makers and oaks are bad for dead limbs, and although he had 30 + years in the woods, he didn't wear a safety helmet. Don't know if would have saved him, but with out it he had no chance. Stay safe out there, its what you don't expect that gets you. I know of no older loggers who are alive today that have not at some time in their life had a situation that either luck or God's will is all that saved them as it could have went either way. Cables, wedges, chain saw chaps, head gear with face shield, cutting brush to leave an escape route, knowing when it is time to get someone with more experience or letting go of the saw and saving yourself, all can keep you out of the hospital or worse. It is human nature I guess, but people who will jump and run when they see a snake as it might be deadly, will take their new Tractor Supply chain saw and look at you tube video and go out and cut down a 36 in oak tree in their yard. As far as we are concerned, the personal SHTF moment will occur if you have a logging accident and are either laid up for months or are killed. Over the years I have know several old time loggers that while I will watch from a distance, I will not follow most of their advice. YMMV(y)
  15. Wild Trapper

    Wild Trapper Pirate Biker

    I've cut down a few trees, some went where I wanted, some didn't.
    Never had any come down on a structure, a few fell into other trees, had to use the tractor to pull 'em out.

    I do not consider myself a logger, maybe a wood cutter, and not even a sawyer, even though I have a sawmill.
    So, just a wood cutter - for now. BTW, supposed to be retired.
    Maybe I should just stay that way.
  16. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    Study the tree and the weight/direction of the limbs, even the twist of the bark if any.
    Study the wind and daily breezes and weather predictions .
    Most full size trees weigh tons especially green, but rotten ones can be full of water too .
    If you are using something to help direct a tree ,cable, chain, anchor it to something relevant, low as possible, and high as possible on the tree being cut. . It might seen silly but if you practice the best cutting techniques on the insignificant ,the more significant fallow all the same procedures and the only time you need hurry is getting away from the base when it's falling .
    Interesting to note is that trees have fallen with no apparent reason and actually killed people happen to be under it .Dead branches can be lethal , I have seen a green pine cone drop from a few hundred feet and utterly destroy a wind shield on a car parked below.
    A simple examination with field glasses is a good idea as well . it's your noggin . Squirrels have been known to retaliate dropping cones .
  17. Bandit99

    Bandit99 Monkey+++ Site Supporter+

    I do like @TnAndy does and pull them in the direction I want to go and if they are too big then I get someone with more experience. And, I always wear a helmet, gloves, no chaps though but I probably should because I cut a hell'va lot... Having said this, I repeat what @Thunder5Ranch said, "$hit Happens" and Mr. Murphy likes nothing better to stick his nose into things. As I said, I throw a chain or Arbor's Bull rope on them, attach it to the truck and ensure it will fall exactly where I want however... so I dropped a couple of trees in this manner, Lodge Pole Pines, not so big in diameter but at least 50+ feet tall and there was one that was leaning perfectly so I figure I could save myself a step and simply cut it. I did my cuts and started the back cut and WHOA! The saw met no resistance - it was totally rotten inside. That damn tree took off a good 45-60 degrees from where it should have dropped, instead landing on my neighbor's fence! I didn't know whether I was more mad or afraid because I admit it scared the heck out of me. Luckily the neighbor's fence was easily repaired but that was a good lesson and one I still remember every time I falling now.
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2019
  18. TnAndy

    TnAndy Senior Member Founding Member

    I always wear a hard hat....maybe it would save you, maybe not. Know of several loggers around here been KIA. One of those big pines I cut snapped a limb off an oak on the way down, about 6" diameter pc, and threw it 180 degrees from the fall of the tree. Right across the hood of my tractor, bashed in the fiber glass hood, bent the steering wheel pretty bad. Had someone been IN the seat of the tractor, I suspect they would be dead....hard hat or no.
  19. Salted Weapon

    Salted Weapon Monkey+++

    Loved that one with the big tractor tree tossed it around like a toy.
    Dunerunner and Gator 45/70 like this.
  20. Salted Weapon

    Salted Weapon Monkey+++

    @Mountainman I had not see some of these.
    I usually I wont tackle trees, call the pros not worth it. thanks for sharing
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