It is cold as all get out, I went to bed at 1:00 am, I forgot to turn on the heater, woke up half frozen at 2:00 am and this just happend: ------------------------------------------------ And so, it came to be.....Now what? Man had reached the pinnacle of his existence, but few would ever know it. How long had it been now? No way to know anymore... Anything and everything was burned the last cold months. No calendars left now that's for sure! No way to know what day it was, much less what month. It No longer really mattered anyway. All the books, the notes, newspapers, all paper, cardboard, even the wood was gone now... People had long ago stripped their homes of anything that would burn, just to stay warm. That was when it was cold. like it is now. Dark and forbidding to anyone left. There are not so many now.... It all started some time back, years I suppose...a war. It began and spread worse than a wildfire. People just went beserk. At first it was thought it was all about religious beliefs, hell it may have been, but now there is no one left to say what really happened. All I know is that the world came crashing down like a house of cards. It just fell apart. Stupid. It was all insane. Like I am now. I'm not sure if anyone will ever read this, or it may be burned for someone's last effort to stay warm or to have a last few moments light before they close their eyes, that one final time. Does it matter? NO. It is too late for that now. I'd heard once from a friend that traveled a long way with his wife and children, how bad it was and how far they had come, to be in the high desert here in what we used to call Arizona. I watched them all slowly die off. I was told that the reason all the events that happened were due to the stoppage of oil from the Middle East areas. That was ONLY the beginning. Hell, we had resources, but the "elite" in our so called "society" wanted to\ save it all for themselves, the rest of us be damned. The joke is on them now. Now, it's Not so funny anyway. But they kept their precious fuels hidden away, for a time, then someone got pissed off and blew the tanks up. End game. Now we were all screwed. It didn't stop there...Oh no...You see there was no fuel to deliver any foods to the stores, no fuels to harvest or to plant anymore foods and crops. No trucks to haul any if there were. No way to send out ships or to get them back..... It went a lot faster than I ever had imagined. You see someone out there ( smarter than most) said that the veneer of society is a bare 3 meals away from being stripped away and the real nasty would be seen. Ok, I've seen it. I have seen so many horrible, unspeakable things, and I wish i were not one of those left alive even now. Maybe I'll be lucky and die tomorrow...I can only hope. I gave up on praying long ago. It never seemed to do any good. I suppose God decided it was time to let mankind destroy itself. It did. By the way, there was a significant factor that helped all of this along, like greasing the tracks on a runaway train..... You see some overeducated bunch of scientists developed a new "strain" of plants and seeds.....Supposed to be disease and pest resistant and all that happy crap. It was. It worked far better than they will ever know. I hope when they drug them from that building kicking and screaming as they set them all on fire, they had time to reflect on their deeds to destroy man. The seeds worked ok, at first then they mutated and went south to something unfit for man or beast to consume. But the real nightmare was the killing off of the "pests". They forgot that all insects are NOT pests you see? Those insignificant little creatures we used to call bees, well they made a lot of what we ate, actually happen. Well that was just the beginning. The bees and insects were being consumed by the birds. Many of those birds got sick and fell to the earth. Of course this all happened JUST prior to all hell breaking loose everywhere else. It was a fitting end. The insects that were not infected, destroyed the other crops that were not protected by chemical changes. It went downhill, like I said, really fast! Now there are no more foods growing, and all the seeds are dead. Are you getting this? Whoever reads this, I hope you manage to survive and make sure no man ever does such a thing ever again. But, I think I am one of the very last left now....So, the food supplies ran low and things got really out of hand. Yes, yes, yes, there were gangs at first. I know, I've read all the novels about the zombie bikers and the golden hordes and such horseshit. They all lasted about 3 days. They were killed off by the regular people. Funny how the survivalist gurus' got it all bassackwards don't you think? I mean the regular people were cannibalizing the bikers for God's Sake! That's funny, well to me it is. Sorry about all the stories you were told like the booger man under the bed. It was people not unlike you and I and YES, they ate the bastards! Life is good...Well not really, and what the hell is this so called life anyway? Try it for a while. When it's hot, you look for a place under some rocks, when it's cold you look for the same, when it rains you suffer and if you are lucky you die quickly..... Now if you were going to ask about the trees...Well let me tell you about the trees. They were the first to go to, people using them for firewood. Few thought about using wood for their homes, at least right away. That passed quickly enough when they got cold! There was nothing left now. I mean nothing taller than a single blade of grass and that had to stay out of sight. People began to eat anything and everything when they heard there was a food shortage. Funny, there were some really fat people once, they disappeared. Now I don't mean they just fell off the earth either. They were EATEN. Most dogs and cats were gone within about 2-3 months. All cattle were gone within days! Horses, pigs, sheep, goats, I mean anything that was edible, was eaten. It was like a man out in the desert...you give him a full canteen and very seldom will that man even think he is thirsty...take it away and it minutes, that person is in dire need of water and LOTS of it. See? It's a psychological thing! So here we are, me and you...well not so much me...just the notes I have left behind. IF you think you want to start all over, personally I think it would be a waste, but hell, what do I know? I mean I'm dead already! right? Right! So, lets get on with this "Greek Tragedy"! Some of us went stone crazy long ago, reading and studying, in preparedness and survivalism and a few others "ism's". We did what we were supposed to do. We got our supplies all the equipment and what few did not fall prey to the "snake oil salesmen's lies" came out ok, for the most part anyway. We were all prepared for the apocalypse. Yeah sure. That worked well didn't it gang? Gang? Hello? Where the hell did you all go? Oh, that's right, you all either starved, froze or outright committed suicide Seen a lot of that I did! Lots of freakin' diseases took a lot of people. Now "we" up here in the high desert, we were the "lucky" ones! Yeah....Ok. Well, most of the population that was not shot, did not starve, died from lack of water and shelter, sure as hell died from any number of really nasty bugs that followed. I mean can you imagine the stench of that many rotting corpses out there in the valley of the sun? Wow I'll bet that was a party! It was so bad at one point, that the Military actually was dropping Napalm on the cities to burn off the rats and vermin and such. We could see the smoke 150 miles away. Now there were some "others" that did not make it up our way...you see they tried that ignorant fella's idea of "bugging out". Yeah, that was a real hoot! We saw thousands of "pedestrians", walking mile after mile "heading for the hills" as it were. They never made it this far. They were easy to spot, and they left a trail like the Mexican Immigrants coming through the desert from Mexico to Tucson. It was a gigantic mess out there for awhile. Most were sick from any variety of reasons, my guess was cannibalism in the cities....Anyway, the coyotes took a lot of them. It was sickening to see a mother lying there dying with a child in her arms and a coyote take her child away...I won't bother you and go into the grisly details, but at least that child did not suffer. Those that lie on the roads and surrounding fields were not so damned lucky. Their screams went on for weeks. The came the low life's...the druggie types, "scrapper's" we used to call them. They were worse than the coyotes! They would literally rape dead women and children, even if they were half eaten or rotting. For awhile, some of us used to use those as target practice. I mean hell there were no Nazi's or Commies, coming anyway! We had a LOT of ammo and there was no sense in letting it all just sit around was there? Besides there was NO game left. Any that were alive had long departed the area, Too many hunters, and too many were damned good shots! What else could one do for entertainment? It lasted just a few days anyhow...No great loss to humanity. I think that's what it was called, right? A few went down to see what they could scrounge from the dead and they did find some interesting things.....Novels for God's sakes! Stupid shits! I mean some of the pickin's were entertaining...like a hairdryer, a wedding dress, a suitcase filled with "survival gear" that came off some quaint site, selling their garbage and sucking in the public. I remember them. They'd sell you knives that would not cut hot butter! They all had cutesy crap, like matches and a plastic case to hold them...Wow, I never thought I'd live to see someone actually fell for that garbage! You would NOT believe the crap these people had drug with them all the way from God knows where, to a place they had no idea about....It would be hilarious if it were not so damned sad. Anyway, some of us banded together, after a small war up here broke out amongst the locals...You see, some felt that they were the first in line to be fed and generally speaking, they were the ones that sat on their fat butts and did nothing but complain. I missed them...No really, I didn't hit a one! Not for lack of trying. It's like NOT laughing while shooting at a beach ball filled with jello! That did not go over too well. Besides they also were the ones that brought NOTHING but their mouths and big fat asses ( can I say that now?) to the dinner tables. Many had put aside food and water and were not concerned about sharing it. They thought of themselves as a community. Well there you go,. man and his great frickin' wisdom struck again! Before long the arguing turned into fighting and sides were drawn. From there it was a quick 2 day shooting spree. Then there were only a handful of us left. after that episode of man's social ability. Then there was another much quicker and shorter spanned version of "who's got my damned woman"? That was settled in 2 shots. Both fired by the same guy. Then we were 4. It seems that the woman had found greener pastures ( a damned tub of all things) and she died for it! Oh well, So much for that argument. Things settled down and we tried to have some normalcy, but every now and then **** was stirred up as the stress was intense. Arguments over who would go and try to find wood for fires, and who would look for anything to kill for food. Seems all we had put away, to prepare for this day was somehow wasted. It all went too quickly. We were feeding far more mouths than we had allowed for in our supplies, When it came down to it, the blame went from person to person. I had reached my fill and so, I retreated to my own area. Few ever came that far back into the area where I lived. Being a an old Vietnam Veteran I had buried a few surprises and it had only taken 2 casualties to convince others not to enter. My dogs were long gone. More than likely eaten by one of the locals up there that we knew ate his own dogs, before things even started to get bad! What a sick bunch of throwbacks! Now at one time I had a garden...but one day I was up on the mountain peak about a mile away, when I heard the helicopters approaching.....Too late, I got "dusted". I guess they thought every freakin' plant was made by those scientific geniuses that wreaked all hell on the rest of the world with their GMO's...Mine were pure heirlooms. Nothing ever grew there again. The air smelled like rotten eggs and I figured it was some damned sort of sulfurous crap. It killed all the plants and even my trees. No matter...I no longer needed to stay hidden anymore. Hell, there were no more people now! I did have a well. I kept that a secret for all this time. It is only a few feet below the ground and I'd placed a fake outhouse over the site so no one would ever look there for fresh water! ( It worked didn't it?) Damned right! But, the food ran out and the garden was destroyed, and all the furniture that would burn, has been used up to stay alive ( well warm at least) for yet another page in this, my so called diary. Now many up here came a few years ( 1 or 2 ) before me, and they all had their alliances worked out, so they figured. They were wrong. I had a lot more going for me than just being the oldest damned fart up there! You see, I had skills, I had knowledge and I had 'mean' on my side. Without a lot of hoohaw and BS, I can tell you this: I weeded out those I considered to be a threat at first chance. Now my intent was NOT to rob or to steal from anyone up there. That's just not me. I looked and studied very carefully those around me, and I chose the worst to eliminate within the first few months I was up there. The ones I chose were "taken" for a reason. Slobs, and thieves and those that had NO skills and were a "drain" on the neighbors. That was an easy choice, I'll admit that. Now don't get me wrong here, I am not a killer by any means. Well by law perhaps, but there is only one law today, survival of the fittest. I am the last. The rest, well..... they either jumped off the edge of the canyon behind me, or they killed each other in the end. I stayed out of it and they assumed I had already died some way or another. I heard them arguing over which one would be brave enough to come into my place for a raid, to see what I had left to "offer" them. No one ever came in. And that's a bummer too, you see I would have liked the company, though the person that did make it inside would never be allowed to leave, well not vertically anyway! What "they" will never know is that I still had at least another 2 years worth of dehydrated foods, although they'd more than likely have wasted it or try to eat it dry ( remember the well? I wondered if you did!) Now I also had a LOT of canned foods stored underground, in 55 gallon poly barrels, where no one but myself knew where they were located. It was fun in the beginning you know? Like hiding Easter Eggs from your kids....Well, the fun is over. No one to fool now. The sun is setting and the embers are all but extinguished. It's a sad tale I tell and it's even far worse than you'll ever know. You see, I had fathered 8 children in my life...not one would follow the crazy old man ! They all chose to see what they were told to see, to think what they should, and to eat what was right for them. God, if you are still around, and IF you are listening, I am really PO'd at you! Why would any righteous entity do such a thing to a man? I mean, was I really all that bad and terrible of a man? I wonder. Maybe the atheists were right after all? I wish I knew. All I ever cared about and worked for, were for my children. And yet they all turned away from me. Reminds me of an old song that rattles around in an old man's head from time to time..."for my children".....I think it was by Neil Diamond. What the hell, it no longer matters. Nothing matters now. Everyone is gone. At least up here, and what the hell is the use of living if you have no one to fight with? Why all the guns, the ammo, and this damned food!?? What was the point of it all? I can't remember anymore. I recall a bumper sticker I saw a long time ago on the rear end of an RV: "He who dies with the most TOYS wins".... ******** ! You're dead ya damned dingbats! What the hell is all the **** in the world gonna account for now? Dumbasses anyway! Look at me, I sit here all dressed up nice and comfy cozy, and freezing my damned tuckus off! Where the hell did the government get off killing my freakin trees anyway!? Jerkoff's! I hope they all rot in... Oh wait, they are already toasted! I like that, maybe there is a GOD, after all! Could be ya know that? Either that, or someone out there has one hell of a warped sense of freakin' humor! Senility is approaching, I hope! Maybe I can forget to keep breathing tomorrow!??? I hate this prolonged death sentence. Ok, so what? I out lived you slugs! Big deal. That was the easy part, you guys got off easy! A- holes!!!! Not me, oh no, not the old guy, He gets to linger on and suffer a bit more. What the hell for, I ask you? Why am I asking you? Hell by the time you read this I'll more than likely be dust! **** it's cold! Anyway where was I? Up in the high desert.....Oh yeah...What a helluva show you all missed....! Some of the smaller towns around here had some that thought, just like those 'loverly' books they'd read ( to themselves I hope!) it was "get the hell out of dodge" time. Yeah that worked, I sincerely hope that someone strung up those idiots that told people to run for the hills. And I hope all those fancy schmancy novels kept a few warm, while they burned them! What a crock of crap! Ever seen I-17 highway from Phoenix heading north, on a "normal: weekend? It's like LA on a normal rush hour, You know 15 miles an hour IF you are lucky, on a good day! Bumper to bumper turds, all trying to get out of the heat and head north...Ha! They don't do that now. They even did that crap when it snowed up here... The "Oh, let's all go up north and freeze our butts off" types! Ski on this slope ya jackasses! Where are ya now you yuppie schmucks in yer itsy bitsy BEEMERS!? Anyway back to wherever the hell I was, before I so rudely interrupted myself. ( damn I think I've lost it...nah, here it is!) Yeah they tried, and they all died. ( did I just hear a song in there someplace?) Dumb people believe anything some moron tells them. I was surprised so many died from hunger so fast....someone could have told them to eat FREAKIN' DAMNED ROCKS! I hate these damned volcanic shards anyway. Damn it.... makes my ass hurt, them suckers are sharp ya know what I mean??? Back to the grind... Oh Yeah, lots of idiots ran into the freakin' forests and hills all over up here. It was funny at first. Then the damned wind shifted on them bodies and it was nasty, let me tell you! I figured most of them were shot by those that got there first, like 10 days ahead of them. Some of them local boys are really damned good shots And I over heard a couple one day talking about shooting anything that came near their places they'd staked out, and they were not happy about any city folks coming in and taking their game away! ( the other white meat?) So, lets be clear on that part at least. We know how they died. It were not by starvation either! I remember what happened in the local town, (just after the wheels came off the cart, so to speak). The locals had some idea about shutting off all access to outsiders alrighty. And they succeeded in a small way. They used heavy equipment to shut dowm all traffic in either the north and south and east to west highways....But they didn't account for the Military base a short hop and flight away! Them helo's hit that place like x-lax! It was over in less than 30 seconds time. I know, 'cause I watched it from my mountain top! Seems the town had some sort of militia all set up and ready to fight for their water, and they had hidden ( not so well, as I knew about it) 5 walk in freezers with frozen foods. Now the trouble is those dingbats never bothered to really set up a damned solar power system, so when the grid went south, so did ALL that damned frozen meat they had! That was really something....I'll bet it stunk like all hell too! But I figure they got one big assed BBQ out of it, once at least. Then the **** really hit the old fan down there. Seems no one wanted to be so friendly and act community minded and all that crap! Honeymoon was over Chuck! One thing led to another and in no time at all the war was on! It took all of about 4 days for them all to be killed off. Those that did survive headed off into those forests north and west of me and were NEVER seen or heard from again.... Did I happen to mention, at one time we had a severe problem with mountain lions? Well, we DID! I figure a few locals were eaten by them poor old cats out there... Good for them cats! They need food too! I like cats! Now, we did have some bears spotted once upon a time, but they got smart and left! Much Smarter than the dumbassed people, I can tell ya that! Now one day, a bunch of either Military or someone pretending to be such, came down the highway.... They slowly picked their way into town, and they decided to make it their base.. or whatever! They were there only a few days and along came another group...they were not so friendly to the first ones.. Yup you guessed it! The war was on again!. Crap, I thought the wars were over and here I got a front seat to most of them. Well, anyways that one lasted about a week or so, I can't really remember, as I got bored and went home after a spell. That mountain has sharper rocks than my place! They went down the road, what was left of them yahoo's...and I was glad to see them leave. All they did was shoot all the time and party like it was their damned birthdays! Morons anyway! So it was quiet here for quite awhile, then along came some damned idiots in strange uniforms and weird helmets. I figured it was maybe like I'd heard years back about how the UN troops would come in and save us all! Yeah that'll be the day, ever see them fight? Like the French, but at least they have white flags! So, in they roll like thunder and they stop for a bit and give us the old once over, and off they go down the road, to the west and to the south., Then came those friggin helicopters! They were all over the damned place and they had loudspeakers or bull horns, and they were yelling some crap in a language I don't speak! I guessed it was to come out and surrender or some crap like that. They departed after no one moved after an hour. They never bothered to return But them dingleberry's in the strange uniforms did. Those cowboys picked up everything they could, and it looked like it was a souvenir collector's dream come true. But they had a nasty turn for that. Seems someone left a few devices for them to scavenge. Now that was gross! I saw pieces flying all over the place. I guessed it was some claymores set face up, and they went off taking at least a dozen people with them in the process. That was seriously mean **** that was! God what a mess that made. The ones that managed to live after that departed real quick and left their comrades ( what there was left anyways) behind. I kinda guessed things were getting worse for the most part, when I saw the paratroopers going into the forested areas, to find food? A lot of them found something else, they did not come out. The people in those forests were serious and I had no need to bother with any of them. It was sheer stupidity to even get close to a forest or a road leading there. I managed quite well a distance out from them. Now once in a great while you'd see a plane, or maybe it was smaller, like a UAV type, I never saw it and I kept low and stayed out of it's camera range, under something! If there was any gunfire it was generally a long distance off. People that were where I was located, knew better than to attract attention. If you heard gunfire, that meant either you had found food or were defending it. Few shots were fired anymore by anyone. Now a funny thing I witnessed take place...I was walking outside the area I lived, which was not a really good idea, but I mean what the hell right, I was one of 3 people left. I heard a strange noise and then I saw a guy walking around with what appeared to be a stick in his hand, pointing out.....away from him...I thought it was some wacko trying to locate water by "witching" means. I was wrong! It was some fat guy that was trying to pull a bolt out from his chest, recently put there by one of my neighbors with a crossbow. Now that was weird. No sound but a whizz thunk sort of deal. The guy walks around for a few minutes like he's lost his dog or something, looking at the ground, and then he falls face first into the side of the mountain, driving that bolt all the way through him. You'd have to see that **** to believe it!. I'm still not sure It was not a magic trick! But the guy was dead and my neighbor was happy, so what the hell, right? Each to their own! I never figured out some people and glad I stopped trying, way back when. There were some strange cats out there in wonder land. Glad they are all dead now! Some I had planned to take out when I felt it was beneficial. Some just had to go, and I mean like 'right away'! Too many with guns, some were proficient and most were dumber than a dirt clod on a rainy afternoon, in a paper sack! Yeah that dumb! You get to know people and in the event that the world is taking a big dump on you, you get to know them MUCH quicker. There are those you may need, and those that NEED you. Elimination is just nature's way of saying YOU SUCK! ( think leech or tick here.....) whatever works for ya! Either or, some just have to go, No sense in wasting perfectly good air, now is there? I feel that way about most things now, like: air, water, food, ammo, medial supplies. I once watched a guy cut his own foot off! Wow, What Fun that was! He had diabetes and it went south on him and I knew it was not long before he croaked on us, I was glad to assist in his feeble attempt to stay alive. No, I did NOT use a chainsaw on his leg! How un-couth! Besides, why screw up my chainsaw? Maybe the neighbors? Maybe the guys own saw ? But things progressed along at a rather rapid rate of decomposition...People, and everything else seems to go gray. It's strange and funny...things have a different flavor, people smell funky, and you are always looking over your shoulder while fondling your weapon of choice! Ok, so it's time to take a nap, and see if I freeze to death in my sleep, or I have to wake the hell up and continue on with this load of crap! By the way, "Global warming" my ass! I sincerely hope that Al Gore got his awards all taken back and the bastard got sued for FRAUD! Later! Yeah, I know it's bizzare, even for me!