Something we all can use...

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Sep 24, 2006.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    a) Mom b) Dad c) love of my life d)
    Assistant Principal e) Local Police Chief, f)
    Near & dear friend

    Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your
    a) Car b) House c) Pet d) Espresso maker
    e) Left arm f) Snow Mobile

    was severely damaged by my a) infantile b)
    puerile c) inept d) comically brilliant but
    nonetheless sadistic e) woefully under appreciated

    How could I have known that the a) car b) jet ski
    c) large helium balloon d) rodent driven sledge
    e) Zamboni f) Ski Doo

    I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is
    true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of your
    a) house b) wife c) Mistress d) Cub
    Scout troop e) 1/16th sized replica of the Statue of
    Liberty, complete with lightbulb in the torch f)
    priceless collection of Rolling Rock beer cans,

    you must understand that it was all meant in fun. The
    subsequent carnage that I caused is beyond my ability to
    a) imagine b) fathom c) comprehend d)
    appreciate e) pay for

    and I must therefore humbly ask your forgiveness. I know that
    you are perfectly within your rights to a) hate me
    b) sue me c) spank me d) take my firstborn e)
    gouge out my eyes with spoons and feed them to the fish in
    your koi pond f) just shoot me

    but I ask you to remember all the good times we've had, joking
    around at a) school b) work c) church d)
    the bowling alley e) the municipal jail

    and to remember that I am first and foremost your a)
    friend b) child c) sibling d) lease co-signer
    e) only possible match should you ever need a bone marrow

    I think that counts for more than one prank, especially one
    that a) was so stupid b) was so silly c)
    would have been funny if it worked d) you would have
    done, if you had thought of it first e) I'm going to use
    again on someone else.


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