Sooooooo Not Fair!

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Dec 18, 2006.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    It shouldn't even be in the Humor section...

    Men Are Just Happier People

    What do you expect from such simple creatures?
    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    Chocolate is just another snack.

    You can be President.
    You can never be pregnant.
    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    The world is your urinal.

    You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    Same work, more pay.
    Wrinkles add character.
    Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental- $100.

    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    One mood all the time.
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    You know stuff about tanks.
    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    You can open all your own jars.
    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    You almost never have strap problems in public.
    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    Everything on your face stays its original color.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    You only have to shave your face and neck.
    You can play with toys all your life.
    Your belly usually hides your big hips.
    One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
    You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..
    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

    No wonder men are happier!! [​IMG] [​IMG]
  2. Tango3

    Tango3 Aimless wanderer

    I submit; alot of those are directly under your control...
    Don't like packing 5 suitcases for a week at the beach? Don't do it. It just pisses us off anyway and guarantees you'l be treated like loon.

    Pick up a phone ,hello is squiggy there? ,Squig! yadda yadda ,No, I'll bring my truck, yours' is a POS... ..yaddda talk to you later.
    . hang the f'k up.
    Don't compulsively dial your cell on the way outta the driveway. Nothing you could ever say driving in traffic is worth anyones life.A car was not designed to be a 3500lb phonebooth. Believe me.arrggh mo'coffee...[booze][booze][touchdown][touchdown][banghead]


    theres another metrosexual fad I didn't need to think about.
    I don't even bleach my underwear.
  3. Infidel

    Infidel Guest

    NICE ONE [applaud][applaud]
  4. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    [LMAO] [LMAO]

    I dated a "metrosexual"....It was

    I didn't know the word then...I just thought he was really vain or had OCD...

    No wallet, as it ruined the lines of his pants....Ironed his t shirts and jeans...Ironed EVERYTHING...even t shirts worn under shirts...

    It's hard dating someone that looks in the mirror so much....They never see you.
    Only themselves.

    Very weird...

    You gotta admit , there are some advantages to being a guy...........:?: :cool:
  5. Blackjack

    Blackjack Monkey+++

    Plus you live longer, and can get la*d anytime you want.

    Quit complaining ;)
  6. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    You haven't been in a ladies room at any sporting event lately , have you?

    Like football games? Or concerts?



    Some women are sooo nasty it embarrasses me.....[dunno]

    why did this print bold?? Because you type in bold and I replied?

    sorry...BlackJack...rough day w/moving the last of the "crapola" out of here..
  7. Tango3

    Tango3 Aimless wanderer

    Well You Got me: Y'all can have that monthly stuff...(preferably outta' state)[touchdown]
  8. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    You betcha, beware the red tide. Someone figured God was a man and created the red tide, and now men everywhere are paying for it till doomsday. We are quite the lucky bunch eh? Haha.

    They did a whole thing on South Park about the metrosexual. 'We're here, we're not queer, but we're close'. That was some funny stuff. I guess when it boils down to it, I like poking fun at certain people. Haha.

    Let's see where I fit on this list....

    Okay, if I let my beard and moustache grow I look like a bum because my hair grows in splotches. I do not look so distinguished with my wrinkles. I have a few pale splotch areas on my face that don't blend in with the other skin. When I did grow a beard in, it is reddish brown and not the black of my hair. I like chocolate. My wedding plans are simple.... whose wedding has the best BBQ? Haha.

    I could be president, though wouldn't want to be and most likely don't kiss enough butt to get the job. And yes, jeans and t-shirts take up less space. I'm not in a popularity contest so I don't dress to impress. And my makeup case takes up a lot less room as chapstick fits in a pocket. Haha.

    So in all, I guess you could say that men have it easy in some ways and I guess that depends on your perspective.
  9. Blackjack

    Blackjack Monkey+++

    Well, security advised me to quit doing that. :)
  10. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Forget fair...

    This is too funny![applaud]
  11. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Funny....posted this on a Buffett board....and the responses were:

    "Yeah , but girls are pretty..."

    and ...

    "Yep, and they smell good...."

    and the men required more suitcases! (but they need room for all those beads at tailgates....[LMAO] )
  12. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Uh-Oh - I just found out I'm a man????????
  13. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    [LMAO] [applaud]

    Nicely done RH....

    (although I have flown off to Colorado for a party , 4 days , with a backpack and no other luggage...)
  14. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    I always hear women complaigning about everything, so what if we can write our name in the snow...the biggest thing I get tired of hearing is how men don't know what pain is, never having experienced child-birth. Well...I don't want to hear that from someone that has never caught her pecker in her zipper!:mad:
  15. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    I second that SC. I've had that happen and let me tell ya, it's no bloomin' picnic. In the end it's all relative. I could go into a whole thing about pain though I won't for sake of rocking the boat or belittling others experiences. Pain hurts, nuff said. Haha.
  16. Northwoods

    Northwoods Monkey+++

    it is good to be me[touchdown] [touchdown] [touchdown] [booze]
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