Southern Engineerin' Exam

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Mar 2, 2010.

  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Southern Engineeeeerin' Exam

    1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

    2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
    (A) '65 Ford Fairlane
    (B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
    (C) '64 Pontiac GTO.

    3. If your uncle builds a still, which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of ‘shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

    4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw, which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

    5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

    6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

    7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

    8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

    9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during this shift?

    10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the interstate highway to breed a country and western singer?

    can't wait to see the answers... ;)
  2. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    1. 15/32"
    3.4, if you use ones from cars with V-8 engines
    4.Just a couple, maybe a few at the most
    5.Did not define with state, there are more refridgerators in Mississippi than in Arkansas
    6.Not enough information; is there a bitch in heat or just dawgs?
    8. It will strike a vehicle with the bumper. Might run over a vehicle and hit it with a muffler, providing it still has one.
    9. Not many since Camels are premium smokes. Most just break off the filters on their GNC smokes and pretend they're camels.
    10. That's a trick question. Everybody would be waiting in line to breed a good country singer.
  3. Brokor

    Brokor Live Free or Cry Moderator Site Supporter+++ Founding Member

  4. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

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