Southern Security System...

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Dec 7, 2006.


  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    [applaud]


    HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH

    1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

    2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.

    3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

    4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

    Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

    Anyways, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
     
  2. Blackjack

    Blackjack Monkey+++

    I like that.


    I just put up some christmas lights made out of shotgun shells, it's kinda difficult to mix the messages "Merry Christmas" and "Stay Away or Die", but I think I managed.
     
  3. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    CRC - Good one! Now that's what I'd call a safe house!

    Blackjack - I didn't know anything like that even existed (so I had to look them up). Very cool! I bet my Mr. would let me keep the lights up all year long if we had some of those!
     
  4. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    [worthless]


    Sounds like something I need to do. Though the idea of a head on a pike is more appealing for some reason. [LMAO]
     
  5. Blackjack

    Blackjack Monkey+++

  6. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    That's so cool. I wonder what they would think if I stuck those on my door. Think I had gone nuts is most likely what they would think. On a side note, they'd be right. Haha.
     
  7. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    "If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane....."






    Just ask Ghost...he knows all about it.... [LMAO]
     
  8. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    You can make them yourself rather easily. Just slot a shell and push it over a standard small tree bulb. We have about 40 feet ovvim along the porch of the trap club house.[booze]
     
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