COMPANY OFFERS SPACE ALIEN INVASION INSURANCE! By MARK MILLER DULUTH, Minn. -- There are so many Americans who believe that space aliens are currently planning an attack against Earthlings that at least one company has decided to cash in on those fears. "Do I believe we're going to be attacked by aliens?" asked Extraterrestrial Insurance Company (EIC) president Gary Moss. "My own beliefs don't matter. We're in the business of providing peace of mind. If people want insurance coverage for space alien attacks, they've got it." After taking out ads in several popular UFO magazines and Web sites, EIC received thousands of orders for insurance. "Our policies range from $25 monthly for basic coverage to $250 monthly for full coverage -- which includes financial compensation for any space alien damage to your house, car, possessions, family members, pets and of course -- yourself, including mental and emotional trauma you experience due to medical experimentation, internal probes, that sort of thing," explained Moss. "Plus, if your entire neighborhood is destroyed, you receive a generous relocation allowance." Moss is not resting on his laurels, though. "Within the next few months we'll be rolling out our new policies for hauntings. Even if we end up with a bonafide haunted house and have to buy it from the owner, we'll make a bundle selling the video rights to Ghost House Survivor."
Man, I should have thought of that. And here I was thinking that if you work hard at some kind of job you'll get rich. Sheesh.
more foil buying that insulating foil for my attic, have to put some on the roof of the truck too [srn]
Anyone interested in buying Asteroid Insurance? It's really good. If one hits your home and you are able to contact the company, we'll have your check cut in only a few hours. Anyone?
