Survivor Stud

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Seawolf1090, Feb 11, 2012.

  1. Seawolf1090

    Seawolf1090 Retired Curmudgeonly IT Monkey Founding Member

    Bear Grylls, move out, mate! "Survivor Stud" is on the job!

    Home - Survivor Stud

    Watch 'Wolf Mills' tackle the tough survival tasks!
    Catch the videos, and you too can become a Survivor Stud! [beer]
    ColtCarbine likes this.
  2. oth47

    oth47 Monkey+

    I've got a new hero!!
    ColtCarbine likes this.
  3. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    He seems like a cool dude

    He seems like a cool dude, and fairly modest into the bargain ; ) I'm not a great Bear Grylls fan....much for the same reason I'm not a Chuck Norris Fan.
  4. CATO

    CATO Monkey+++

    I'm glad I'm not the only one that doesn't like Bear Grylls' show. But, the capitalist pig in me says "go for it: sell your crappy wares to weekend Rambos." I would.

    Have you ever seen the Iron Chef? Alton Brown sort of commentates during the whole episode about how each chef is cooking. that: Now think about Dual Survival. It would be cool for Les Stroud to film and commentate on the bickering/jabbing/decisions made by Cody Lundin and Dave Canterbury.

    I have a high amount of respect for Les Stroud. But, I've got to wonder how much Hollywood there is on Dual Survival. The reason I say that is the episode where Dave builds his own bow from scratch, makes arrows from scratch, then stalks a turkey and actually kills it.

    Aside from fishing...hunting turkey is one of my favorite things and in my experience, I don't think Carlos Hathcock could sneak up on a turkey. I generally only bow hunt (it's all about self-imposed limitations for me now....SHTF = gun), so I think the odds of what he did in that episode are quite low.

    Yes...if I were an Indian, they'd call me vegetarian during turkey season. But, it's a blast to see if you can call one in.
    oldawg and Gafarmboy like this.
  5. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    I am anxious to hear how you compare the two, those two do not even belong in the same sentence.[pop]
    Falcon15 and chelloveck like this.
  6. Tikka

    Tikka Monkey+++

    Although I'm not great Bear fan either; I do appreciate his camera crew. Let's be honest, the chances of me needing to survive where they tread are negligible to none. The best scenic photography wins my limited attention.
  7. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    Grylls vs Norris - Living Legends or standing jokes?

    Agreed....but I never took you for a Chuck Norris afficionado, Colt. ; )

    Whatever the prowess and skill that each have in their respective areas of expertise, what they do is pure theatre, both are hammy actors, in the wooden kind of way that block heads often are. Admittedly Chuck is probably the more wooden of the two, in both senses, and he is probably the one of the two with the most rabidly loyal fans, and also has the most derision put upon him by those who are not his fans.

    I am sure that there are Bear Grylls jokes, but Chuck Norris jokes would outnumber them infinitely. Here is a minute fraction as a sample.

    Of Norris
    Of Grylls (apparently he has his fair share of admiring and derisive jokes too)
    Both Norris and Grylls, to a greater or lesser extent, have capitalised on their profession of their faith in association with their entertainment industry personnas.

    Of Norris:
    I would imagine that neither Grylls nor Norris are taken all that seriously as practitioners of their relative fields of expertise by anyone of any sense, particularly by anyone who IS a practitioner and trainer of either survival techniques or martial arts.

    I won't waste my breath, nor your popcorn on my thoughts about Norris, other than that both he and Grylls are entertainment show ponies with a limited range of show pony tricks.

    Although his show has some information that is of survival value, my main objection to Gryll's show is that his version of survival is romanticised as some kind of exciting extreme adventure sport, and that some of the things that he does and says by way of demonstration and exemplification, are actually likely to shorten one's survival chances if tested in the wild, unsupported by a film crew, helicopter, paramedic availability etc. The fact is that actual survival in life threatening conditions can be at times petrifyingly frightening, and at other times mind numbingly both cases, survival is a battle of the mind, over the physical...and someone's internal dialogue, vital though it may be to one's survival, is hard to capture on film, making for poor entertainment.

    I would have to acknowledge that I have learned a number of useful items of information from Grylls, but overall, I find the man himself highly irritating, and the methods and manner of his information presentation questionable.

    Any popcorn left Colt??? ; )
  8. snowbyrd

    snowbyrd Latet anguis in herba

    Forget the popcorn, how much of that fith of Jack so ya got?
    Hard to drink down that uh, poo poo.
    I could woop all thier butts, bring it on, after all I have my crew too!!!
    OH, is my room ready, the bar fully stocked and the young newbile nymphs warm?

    There have been some dead people because of the stupidity of programs (progroms) like this.
    Many sheeple acually believe that crap. Sad but true......
    chelloveck likes this.
  9. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    A Grylls "aqua vitae" enema anyone?? No thank you!!

    you aren't wrong, Sno...

    found this classic quote about Grylls, regarding an episode where Grylls apparently gives himself an unpotable water enema. The thing that makes me shake my head is, if the contamination is such that it is unfit to imbibe through his mouth...what makes it any fitter to consume via his anal sphincter. My guess that the net effect will be that it will cause him to excrete more water than is absorbed by the large intestine, therefore dehydrating more than if he hadn't given himself an enema. Enemas are usually used as a purge...stupid is as stupid does...but unfortunately someone will think..."oh what a brilliant idea!". Filter the water...sterilise the water....that makes sense....but giving himself an enema makes for better pantomime theatre.

    Although JD is not my preferred poison...I think I'd rather spend my time drinking myself into oblivion with it than watching Grylls giving himself an enema.

    You can judge for yourself.....I'm having a quart of JD.

    Man vs. Wild - Pacific Island - Bear's Enema - YouTube

    All you ever wanted to know about enemas.... Although enemas have been used as a quick and nasty means of blood expansion, for battle casualties, but as I understand it, the jury is still out as to whether it is actually clinically effective. It should be noted that self inserting foreign objects, whether they be butt plugs or enema tubes, can damage the membranes of the nether parts and any damage may become a conduit, so to speak, for infection. Not something that one would really want in a survival situation. And....who has a jar of vaseline in their life raft for the lubricating the enema tubes with???

    Finally, a quote from John Nichol's and Tony Rennell's book, MEDIC:Saving Lives - From Dunkirk to Afghanistan. (page 165)

    For more info about this book...look at:
  10. oldawg

    oldawg Monkey+++

    The deal is most of those shows are geared to those who have never really done the things they try so they feel enthralled.Les Stroud is comfortable letting you see the mistakes he has made. Most of us here have been in similar situations by choice or circumstance. We know all the mistakes we made so we are more comfortable with Les rather than some rambo who thinks sheep nuts are haute cuisine and diving head first off of a cliff is how every one does it. Other words the Walter Mitty in us likes Bear but the real us listen closer to Les Stroud for something that might really do us some good. jmho
    ColtCarbine and chelloveck like this.
  11. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    The thing worth noting is that Walter Mitty never died as a result of his fantasies....uncritically emulating Bear Grylls is an even way losing bet. But yes..I do understand what you are getting at. Unfortunately many people who watch the boob tube just suck it in as "real" and "true" in much the same way that they believe that any "reality" tv is real. Grylls as an "authority" will be believed implicitly, on the basis of his vaunted SAS service as much as for anything else. I would wonder what Lofty Wiseman's thoughts are on Bear Grylls?

    Speaking of Lofty Wiseman....he may look like an old gheezer, but I'd pay attention to him over Grylls, hands down..any day.

    Lofty Wiseman and the Lofty Wiseman Survival Tool Knife - YouTube
  12. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    I'm a big fan of Grandmaster Chuck Norris 9th Dan Pin # 2819 in Tang Soo Do, 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master in Tae Kwon Do, brown belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, six consecutive years as the Professional Full-Contact Middleweight Karate Champion, Karate Triple Crown, Fighter of the Year, developed Chun Kuk Do and American Tang Soo Do, founded the National Tang Soo Do Congress and the United Fighting Arts Federation and ended his professional career with a record of 183–10–2.

    Grylls is a joke, while Chuck Norris is the real deal and is actually quite respected by his peers. One does not beat Joe Lewis (Greatest Karate Fighter of All Time and the [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Muhammed Ali of his sport)[/FONT], Skipper Mullins, Arnold Urquidez, Victor Moore, Ron Marchini, and Steve Sanders plus many others with out earning respect. He also received the Golden Lifetime Achievement Award by the World Karate Union Hall of Fame.

    Most people only know Chuck Norris the entertainer and the benevolent supporter of Republican candidates. I can not say I support his ideology of who he supports politically, not really a big fan of him as an entertainer and product endorser.

    If he wants to profit from his career as a fighter and his enormous contributions(the list is quite long) to the sport I'd say he has more than earned his right to do so.

    Bear Grylls is a joke!

    Now you know why there are so many Chuck Norris jokes, most of them are true.
  13. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    Bear Grylls couldn't pack this guy's lunch.
    Gator 45/70 and Falcon15 like this.
  14. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart,Deadman Walking, Snow Monkey Moderator

    In his Prime, Chuck Norris was unbeatable.... Now as an Elder Statesman for that bunch, he makes his money, as an entertainer,.... But do NOT make the mistake of thinking that he, even in his Old Age, is some kind of pushover. He still can kick A** better than 99% of the Population, It just takes him a bit longer to do it.... ..... YMMV.... but you are deluding yourself....
    oldawg, Cephus, Gator 45/70 and 2 others like this.
  15. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    Chuck and Bear would both do well to attend Juilliard

    I'm prepared to stand corrected on Norris's peer evaluation of his martial arts capabilities...but...most of my criticism is about his showmanship...both on and off good as he may be on a martial arts mat...he still doesn't impress greatly as an actor. It's moot as to who is the worse in that arena...Grylls or Norris. Am not much concerned with how either of them makes a crust...more power to them if they can turn their talents, such as they are into respectably substantial income streams, just that it doesn't impress me much, that is all.
  16. ColtCarbine

    ColtCarbine Monkey+++ Founding Member

    Chuck Norris epitomized the martial arts in more than one discipline. Gonna have to let him know chello is bad mouthing him.

    Even....Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
    Cephus, Seawolf1090 and Tracy like this.
  17. chelloveck

    chelloveck Diabolus Causidicus

    I'm beginning to rue the day....

    I'm beginning to rue the day....that I started comparing Sloan Rangers with Texas was never going to be an even fight, at least not on this site, lol

    Sloane Ranger - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    I'll take Chuck long as I get to choose the martial art...........and.........I .......choose, Black Belt slam poetry at 50 yards with fully powered megaphones. Sonnets.....Haikus....damn...I'll even challenge him to limericks, and still come out of the bout, unbowed and unbloodied!!!!
  18. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    how about Tankas... it's more martial...
  19. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker


    Dawn approaches on
    Slow silky slipper clad feet
    Sunrise spun silence
    White stones upon green fields
    As taps sound in the still air
  20. Falcon15

    Falcon15 Falco Peregrinus

    To paraphrase: age and experience beat youth and enthusiasm every time. I am in agreement with BT and Colt here. Norris the martial arts champion is the real deal. Just because he chooses in his semi-retirement to shill products and endorse political candidates as an entertainer means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme. That is like saying just because George Foreman endorses a grilling machine he was not an excellent boxer and could in no way kick the ever loving crap out of me in a boxing ring because he's just a product spokesperson.

    I would invite any of us who nay say or deride the past accomplishments of these fine athletes to spend 3 minutes in their respective rings of expertise, either the mat or the ring, in full contact competition against either one of these gents. Money talks, BS walks. YMMV.
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