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Symptoms and Cures when drinking Beer!

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by sniper-66, Oct 29, 2005.

  1. sniper-66

    sniper-66 Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
    FAULT: Glass empty.
    ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

    SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
    FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
    ACTION: Retire to gent's room, practice in mirror.

    SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
    FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
    ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

    SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
    FAULT: Improper bladder control.
    ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about her house training. Demand beer.

    SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
    FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
    ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

    SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
    FAULT: You are being carried out.
    ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

    SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
    FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
    ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

    SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
    FAULT: You have fallen forward.
    ACTION: See above.

    SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
    FAULT: Bar has closed.
    ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender
  2. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    Yeah been there :eek:
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