Tac gets married ....

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by tacmotusn, Dec 11, 2017.

  1. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn Mosquito Sailor Site Supporter+

    Some of my old time friends know me pretty well and one of them (actually a married couple) sent me this to make me smile. I fooled with it just a little.
    Tac finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.
    One evening, after their honeymoon, he was working on his motorcycle in the garage, just for fun.
    His new wife was standing there at the workbench watching him.
    After a long period of silence she finally spoke, "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it's time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop. You probably should just consider selling your motorcycle along with your gun collection and that stupid fishing gear."
    Tac got a quizzical look on his face.
    She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"
    He replied, "For a minute there you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."
    "Ex-wife!" she shouted, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"
    Tac replied: "I wasn't, for very long."
  2. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    True story here.
    Years ago, my ex , whining, complaining , bitchin' , almost exactly like you described , said , you need to sell that bike and pay some of these bills, blah blah blah.
    I said , I had this bike before you , and it'll be here when your gone. That was about 28 years ago , she's gone , and the bike is in my shop. It's a limited edition bike , and quite a few have tried to buy it , I tell them that story and tell them , " I can't sell it , If I sell it , I'm scared she'll come back ".
    GOG, TXKajun, Sgt Nambu and 12 others like this.
  3. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey Site Supporter

    Had an ex girlfriend like that, got the rings back
    Sgt Nambu, Dunerunner, SB21 and 2 others like this.
  4. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn Mosquito Sailor Site Supporter+

    lol .... Don't even get me started down that road. I have lived almost every sad country song ever written.
    GOG, Sgt Nambu, Dunerunner and 3 others like this.
  5. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

    I lost my boat........still have the Mrs. She goes for anything else...... well that might be it. [YD]
    Dunerunner, SB21, tacmotusn and 3 others like this.
  6. Downunder

    Downunder Monkey

    My mrs once told me I should buy more guns before they get banned. She also suggested one night (She was a little drunk), that it would be nice if I would sleep with her gorgeous blonde friend to cheer her up after her separation. The mrs is definitely a keeper, although I declined the opportunity to sort her friend out, becoming besties with her instead.
    Alf60, Dunerunner, SB21 and 5 others like this.
  7. Cruisin Sloth

    Cruisin Sloth Special & Slow

    I have lots of "lady friends " I couldn;t sleep with them , they would know I snore & sex with them would make me feel uncomfortable after the fact . We can talk about most things now , add sex & the thing gets weird .
    Dunerunner, SB21 and tacmotusn like this.
  8. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    A friend accepts you as you are,
    Generally speaking, a wife does not.
    SB21, Alf60 and tacmotusn like this.
  9. Altoidfishfins

    Altoidfishfins Monkey+++ Site Supporter+

    tac, you cantankerous old bastard.
    How many men would love to learn from you!
    tacmotusn and sec_monkey like this.
  10. TXKajun

    TXKajun Monkey+++

    I've heard lots of stories when, after the wife says "I do", she doesn't.

    Fortunately, Sweetie and I are on the same wavelength in many ways. Makes life so much easier.

  11. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    I'd like to congratulate all of you monkeys that have found a compatible woman. Some of us aren't quite as lucky , they just seem to keep eluding us.
    A buddy of mine told me one day, right after running off his last one , " We must be getting our women out of the wrong trailer park " .
    I just about spewed beer on him.
  12. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey Site Supporter

    I guess I was extremely lucky. You see my wife had emigrated to Ozz, with her then husband and stayed for 3 years until she got tired of being a second class citizen. She worked her way out by doing every bad job that the Ozz ladies did not want until she could buy herself a one way ticket home.

    Nice Lady and all but a lot of Ladies play head games. We meet where we both had just moved to for a new life. I fell hard for her Dog and her Sulfur Crested Cockatoo that she had raised as a freshly hatched chick in Ozz, I knew right off if she took care of the animals with such love then I had found the right woman.

    She had picked up the chick from Patties Market and was told she would never get it to eat. She raised it by getting it to eat from Chop Sticks.

    WE all had a great life together and slowly, one by one it was my turn to lay them to rest. The pup went first and then the Cockatoo finally after a 30 year marriage I placed her in the grave we will both share in a National Cemetery.

    No tears here we had a good life and raised a great set of kids, all because we both made the right decision at the right time and each stuck to their vows and guns, no spouse has ever had a better back up than She or I.
  13. OldDude49

    OldDude49 Just n old guy

    So far I have to say I agree with your friend.... I keep findin em in the wrong trailer park..... [yukface]
    tacmotusn and HK_User like this.
  14. BTPost

    BTPost Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    i found AlaskaChick at a Church sponcered Softball Game... She was on the other team...
  15. OldDude49

    OldDude49 Just n old guy

    CHEATER! :)
    tacmotusn and HK_User like this.
  16. SB21

    SB21 Monkey+++

    This reads like a Special Ops mission, to convert the enemy to the other side. :ROFLMAO:
survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary