How many of you do it? Tips? After my dad died about 18 years ago, wifee suggested we mom's house and move it for a while. The thinking is that often, a surviving spouse dies not too long after the first one, and more company and grandkids around will keep her going. It worked. After a while, wife and kids were ready to get out of there. So when my sister retired, we were out. Sister has been doing a great job with care. We were there for 14 years! And before that, was constantly going over to help with my dad. I have to tell you, it can be stressful for the family and financially. I was to one to call for whatever because since I am self-employed, they figure I can come any time. What my siblings don’t realize is no work, no eat. And as you know, I love to eat. Anyway, mom is 100 now and I fly over to spend a couple of days a week. Gives my sister a break. And I usually cook enough to have lots of leftovers. This week, I worked, so only made a small meal. But I bought a bunch of food to last most of the week. Made fried poke (3 kinds) scramble for breakfast. Served it with Thai sweet chili sauce. D344287F-1D7A-4651-8C70-E69DF370035A by Hanzo posted Sep 20, 2022 at 10:49 64D93500-1B8C-444F-A1DC-FCF7571E59E2 by Hanzo posted Sep 20, 2022 at 10:49
One of the most important things for longevity is to eat things that don't have labels on them. That is to say processed foods will kill you. There is an old story of a guy in England, the longest living Englishman in recorded history. On his 124th birthday the king invited him to a party to celebrate and had all kinds of decadent food all over. The old man ate the cakes and cream sauces and processed foods and was dead by morning. Before that he lived on a farm and only ate farm fresh food. Families should be together. They should all rotate around a central nucleus and when they get old and need care it is much easier. When you stick mom and pop in the old folks home they start to pray for death because it is just like a casket. We took care of my grandparents until the very end.
Doing everything possible you can to take care of your parents in their final years is probably the best gift you can give to your parents ,,, and the most satisfying thing you can do for yourself .
Brought my dad home with me when the doctor put him on hospice. My wife was gracious to quit her job to do the day to day care. My brothers agreed to pay enough to cover my wife's lost income. My dad lived a couple of weeks after that. Looks like we may be making a move soon, to take care of my wife's dad. It isn't easy, but you know you are doing the right thing.
Really, I like you caring heart. It is not an easy task to caring our parents in the old ages, because we should take so much care. My small suggestion is better to avoid some processed food. Cook food with some fresh vegetables and meat items.
We lost AlaskaChick’s mother yesterday… Her and her siblings have been dealing with her for a decade, as she has declined in Competence… Dementia is an insidious disease when it runs into Old Age.. Her passing has been expected for months now, and now the children are left to clean up the financial messed she left. .. but t. h. e. Medical burden on AlaskaChick is now over….
Sorry to hear that. Condolences to them. It is bittersweet when they finally pass. We are dealing with the wife's mother with alzheimers now. It's not easy.
My uncle passed from Dementia, got to the point where he just stopped eating. Both of my parents are gone, wife's parents to cancer, my dad to pancreatic cancer and mother to complications from stroke. My condolences to you and the family Hanzo.
I took care of Mom at home until very near the end. We had notes posted with the year, the date (her job to change) and the day of the week. This and a hundred other little tricks kept her from asking questions over and over. We had a strict schedule and if we kept to it everything went smoothly. After she died I learned the importance of all her planning. "Call the tax lady before you do anything." That was item number one. A will tied to a trust and more good notes about accounts and contacts, joint accounts, P.O.D. accounts and scattered assets have made things much easier for me. Now's the time to write notes, get will and trust done and talk things over.
My clients often times leave notes (and my business card) for heirs to call me to help with their accounts after their demise. And when possible, I actually try to meet the heirs while healthy. Had one elderly lady pass away many years ago. I had only met two of her eight children. All eight flew over with eight spouses. 16 different wants. Always a good idea to set things up in advance.
Wow! It is truly beautiful that your mom has continued her journey after losing your Dad. I think it is amazing that you and your family and your sister stepped in and show up for her day after day. When my Grandma lost my Grandpa back in 2005, I wasn't sure how she would go on. They were constant companions and went on so many adventures together and when his health started failing she cared for him. My Uncle lived in the area and moved in to be there with her and my parents and I visited and spent as much time with her as we could. I loved the way that she continued to embrace life and continue her next act. She traveled with us and continued to live life to the fullest. Grandma lived for 14 more years after Grandpa and passed at 94. The last time that I talked with her it was a Sunday morning and we talked for over an hour. I told her about how the sellers of this property accepted my offer and we were moving South of Hilo. Her memory was so sharp and she told me about how she grew up 100 miles away in Kona (her family picked coffee in the 20's I recently found out that she was born in Na'alehu) and how this island has the best weather. I hadn't visited this island before we moved here and I always wanted to go with her, but that never happened. 2 weeks later she passed and I felt like I had gotten her blessing. Losing her was one of the hardest losses, but I decided to start gardening in her honor. She visits me often as an 'Io when I'm gardening. One time an 'Io even dropped half a chicken body at my gate she always did have a sense of humor. Thank you for sharing your beautiful memories and moments with your family and the amazing feasts that you share! Every day really is a blessing!
