Tech Support

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by CRC, Oct 2, 2005.


  1. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I think I have worked with some of these folks... :rolleyes:

    Tech support desk?Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?




    Female customer: A white one...

    ===============

    Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

    Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?

    Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

    Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

    Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on
    my desk... sorry....

    ===============

    Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

    Customer: Your left or my left?

    ===============

    Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

    Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

    Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...

    Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
    Gates, dammit!

    ===============

    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I
    try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed
    it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

    ===============

    Customer: I have problems printing in red...

    Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

    Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

    ===============

    Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

    Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

    ===============

    Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

    Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

    Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

    Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

    Customer: OK

    Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

    Customer: Yes

    Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
    keyboard?

    Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

    ===============

    Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital
    letter "V" as in Victor, the number"7".

    Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

    ===============

    Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

    Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

    Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

    Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

    Customer: Five stars.

    ===============

    Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

    Customer: Netscape.

    Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

    Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

    ===============

    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my
    computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

    ===============

    Tech support: How may I help you?

    Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

    Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

    Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the
    circle around it?

    ===============

    A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.


    Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

    Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The
    man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is
    working fine."

    ===============



    And last but not least...



    Tech support: "Okay BOB, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
    time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the
    letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

    Customer: I don't have a P.

    Tech support: On your keyboard, BOB.

    Customer: What do you mean?

    Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, BOB.

    Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
     
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