Something I read elsewhere that other believers may appreciate and find inspiring. To all of you who served in Nam and had to do things you didn't want to>>>>this is what happened to my husband who passed away about 16 years ago: Mike served in Nam for 2 & 1/2 tours. He finally was almost blown up and they told him he could not go back. When we met and got married, I was a Christian but he refused to accept Jesus into his heart. I finally got it out of him, that he felt he could not be forgiven for many of the things he had done in Nam. He was involved in areas near and NORTH of the 17th parallel. He was a Marine and was an EOD man and Recon. He fought next to South Vietnamese soldiers and he called them a special name, but I can't recall it at this time??? He was required to deal with "collateral damage," which meant women and children he had to take out because they were carrying things that would explode. He had a great deal of grief over this, especially the kids. He did not believe God would accept him or forgive him. I told him over and over the story of Paul the apostle and how God made him a great teacher and disciple. I am sure there were more things he never told me...... We discovered he had liver cancer about 8 months before he died. He had Hep C and could not stop drinking so it went into liver cancer. When the doctors were considering a liver transplant, they asked him if he could stop drinking. He told them that although the VA gave him meds for his nerves and for PTSD, they did not completely work and the alcohol did, to a much better extent, and he could sleep. They of course told him that they could not give him a transplant if that was the reality and he confirmed that it was. They decided on radiation treatment, which weakened him tremendously. He became a shadow of himself. Very thin and weak. He got to the point he was not aware of where he was or what was happening>>>>>he had hepatic encephalopathy, which means the toxins in his system, which could not be filtered out by his liver, because it was so damaged, were causing him to be confused and unable to process information. He slipped away slowly. Finally, he lay in the bed and did not respond to anything. You could yell at him, slap him, he barely moved. The doctors said he would not wake up, he would never speak again, never walk again, never sit up or eat again. They were preparing me for his death. He remained like this for three days. He got his medications by IV. He did not talk, move or eat during this time. On the THIRD day>>>>He sat up and then stood beside his bed. He walked over to the window and looked out. He said: "It's like looking through the eyes of a different man." He said it three times. I thought, "Oh Lord>>>he has brain damage, what is he talking about??" I asked him: "What are you talking about Mike? Are you OK?" He said: "I am like a new man!" This did not encourage me any. I asked "What are you talking about?" He turned and looked at me and said "I have been with Jesus for the past three days." I was stunned to say the LEAST! "I said "What?" He said, "Yes, He came to me and walked with me through all the times in my life where I felt alone and unable to be forgiven for things I had done. And He showed me that He was there EVERY TIME and that He DID LOVE me! He was with me in Vietnam and He told me He forgave me for all the things I did there!" Of course being a believer, I wanted to know all about it! He told me there were things he could not tell me and that he really couldn't explain anything but that he revisited all of the bad places in his life and that Christ was there telling him He loved him and he FELT that love for the very FIRST time in his life! And that Jesus told him over and over he was forgiven for what had happened in Vietnam. I was almost jealous, but was so happy for him at the same time. By this time, both of us were crying and he said>>>"I want to go to church tonight and be baptized!" There were a number of churches who had been praying for him. He wanted to go to one of them but they would not release him from the hospital until the next day. The doctors could NOT believe he was up walking around and talking!! He was discharged the next day and we went to church that night, it was Wednesday. He told the pastor he wanted to be baptized. The pastor said he would have to go through a class before he could be baptized. Mike told him, "I only have a few weeks, we have to do this soon!" After hearing Mike's story, the pastor condensed the class down to three sessions. I and they were AMAZED that Mike already knew the things that were the part and parcel of the class! They baptized him that next Sunday. He was VERY HAPPY!!! Happier than I had EVER seen him. He was well enough for a few weeks and then became very weak and sick. He went back into the hospital and died approximately 2 & 1/2 months after he received Christ and was baptized. The last two days, he again, couldn't talk or stand up, or eat, but through out that time, he had his hands raised up and was talking silently>>>I know who he was talking to, and I bet you do to. Finally, he was not longer able to hold his hands up, and he gradually slipped away. I have told this story here before, but thought some of you that might be new here needed to hear it>>>I PRAY you are blessed and rejoice with me that Christ DOES LOVE us>>>NO MATTER what our sins are and that He WILL forgive you>>>>all you need do is ASK. Mike didn't even ask>>>Jesus came to him and showed him about the love of God.
Father, I commit my life into your hands. Whether on land, sea, or in the air, guard and keep me. Protect me from enemy actions, accidents, and errors in judgment. Protect my comrades, too. Every day, God, I face enemies from without and enemies from within. You tell us in your Word that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers, and the forces of wickedness in high places. Bind Satan and his influence in the world. Render powerless those who work for him and with him. Confuse and thwart their plans. Surround me with your angels and let no weapon formed against me prosper. Hide me in the shelter of your wings and protect me from terrors of the night, and arrows during the day! In all things, I serve at your pleasure O Lord, your Holy Solder in Christ, A-Men!
Thank you for posting. It brought to mind my own journey into, and out of, Jesus belief and Christianity. Testimonials of .conversion and de-conversion have a very broadly similar narrative structure, with some variations upon a theme...the only significant difference being movement towards adopting a constellation of theological / religious beliefs, or movement away from them towards abandoning them, or replacing them with a different belief system: It is the emotional force field of attraction or repulsion that everyone experiences as they travel through life to non existence.
