The “Coyote Principle"

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Yard Dart, Feb 9, 2017.

  1. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

    The “Coyote Principle.” #California

    “The governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the governor’s dog, then bites the governor. The governor starts to intervene but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

    He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

    He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases.

    The governor goes to the hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

    The running trail gets shut down for six months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

    The governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate disease throughout the world.

    The governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

    PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million lawsuit against the state.


    The governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

    The governor shoots the coyote with his state issued pistol and keeps jogging.

    The governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge. The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

    And that, my friends, is why California is broke and #Texas is not.”
  2. Dunerunner

    Dunerunner Brewery Monkey Moderator

    Moonbeam and Moondoggie... [LMAO]
    Sgt Nambu, Aeason and Ura-Ki like this.
  3. GrayGhost

    GrayGhost Monkey+++

    Sad, but true.
  4. oldawg

    oldawg Monkey+++

    I think Gov. Perry used a .380 and the coyote lived. I was wrong. Coyote died.
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2017
    Sgt Nambu and duane like this.
  5. Olympic mountain man

    Olympic mountain man just a lonely cook

    Your talking about a state that has an express lane for death row lmfao what else would you expect from a real man
  6. Dunerunner

    Dunerunner Brewery Monkey Moderator

    Ron White..... Cracks me up..[LMAO]
    Olympic mountain man likes this.
  7. DKR

    DKR Raconteur of the first stripe

    One of Ron's funnier bits. Texas. As close to the old USofA as many will ever get in their lifetime.
    oldawg and Dunerunner like this.
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