1. The Topic of the Month for October is "Make this the Perfect Bugout Location". Please join the discussion in the TOTM forum.

The Alphabet of Marriage

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Ganado, Mar 21, 2016.

  1. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

    He looked at her carefully, then said, "You are A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

    "What does that mean?" she asked suspiciously.

    He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous and Hot!"
    She beamed at him happily and said: "Oh, that's so lovely! But what about I, J and K?"

    "I'm Just Kidding!"

    (The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctors are fairly optimistic about saving his genitals).
    Wild Trapper, 3M-TA3, stg58 and 7 others like this.
  2. Dunerunner

    Dunerunner Monkey

    Goes to show... Honesty isn't always the best policy....:rolleyes:
    Aeason and Ganado like this.
  3. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    "But you can be totally honest with me." - Biggest trap ever.
    oldawg and Ganado like this.
  4. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    lol boys boys,, women can't be honest with you about some stuff either =) its a two way street which is why its funny
    Wild Trapper and tacmotusn like this.
  5. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    I prefer brutal honesty.
  6. Ganado

    Ganado Monkey+++

    lol I'm pretty straight forward in my communications and there are thing, personal things I NEVER say flat out to other people as I consider it rude. e.g. commenting on personal appearance. I might tell someone they smell a bit ripe, but never tell them they stink. Its a difference in tactful civilized behavior and needing to be right about what you are saying. There are some uses for civilized behavior.

    IF everyone carried guns and swords, civility would be more important even. JMO
    arleigh and tacmotusn like this.
  7. Witch Doctor 01

    Witch Doctor 01 Mojo Maker

    Sounds pretty brutal to me....;)
    Ganado and TailorMadeHell like this.
  8. HK_User

    HK_User A Productive Monkey is a Happy Monkey Site Supporter

    Sounds a lot like Hallway Sex.
    DKR, Ganado, Airtime and 1 other person like this.
  9. stg58

    stg58 Monkey+++ Site Supporter+ Founding Member

    Been married for almost 40 years and I don't know what I would do without her.......But I would not mind finding out....:)
  10. BTPost

    BTPost Old Fart Snow Monkey Moderator

    @stg58 I also have been married 40+ Years.... And I do not think I could live thru finding that out... One way or the other....
    Witch Doctor 01 and Ganado like this.
  11. stg58

    stg58 Monkey+++ Site Supporter+ Founding Member

    That is my "joke" I say the first line and the other wives smile and say awwwww...with a pause......The second line the husbands smile or laugh until their wives look at them..:)

    My wife is far more likely to find out than I am...
    Ganado, BTPost and Brokor like this.
  12. Wild Trapper

    Wild Trapper Pirate Biker

    One thing my mother always told me, never criticise your wife's cooking, always tell her it was good. For a while I tried to follow her advise, wife didn't like it, she told me, 'if you don't like what I fix, tell me' she wanted honesty in the kitchen. One thing I learned was, mother's don't always give the best advise. Oh, 40+ years of marriage.

    The other thing I never mention is waistline, if she mentions she needs to loose a few pounds, I don't say anything that would bring down any wrath on me. Just tell her, she looks fine.
    stg58, Ganado and BTPost like this.
  13. TailorMadeHell

    TailorMadeHell Lurking Shadow Creature

    I'm that way about my cooking. I won't get better if all I get are niceties and platitudes.

    Oh and do these jeans make my butt look big? :D
    Ganado likes this.
  14. OldDude49

    OldDude49 Just n old guy

    Do not answer that!

    It's a trap! :LOL:

    oldawg and Wild Trapper like this.
  15. arleigh

    arleigh Goophy monkey

    Answer to the question is "what is the look you are after ?"
    oldawg likes this.
  16. oldawg

    oldawg Monkey+++

    No, the answer is to ease out the back door and become lost in the bowels of the shop.
    HK_User likes this.
survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary