The Ant and the Grasshopper

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Conagher, Dec 14, 2005.


  1. Conagher

    Conagher Dark Custom Rider Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    The Ant and the Grasshopper

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    CLASSIC VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
    he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
    winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no
    food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

    THE END



    THE CANADIAN VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
    he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
    winter, the ant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?

    The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know
    why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less
    fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

    The CBC ( Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a
    table laden with food.

    Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
    grasshopper is allowed to suffer so, while others have plenty.

    The NDP, (New Democratic Party , (Pinko’s)), the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit (Eskimo’s) cultural festival special from Nunavut (New Territory of Canada) with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."

    Sven Robinson (Homo-Sexual NDP candidate) rants in an interview with Pamela Wallin (CBC personality) that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".

    In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic Equity
    and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning
    of the summer.

    The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to
    hire grasshoppers as helpers.

    Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed
    retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

    The ant moves to the US, and starts a successful agribiz company.

    The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of
    the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the
    government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old
    house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

    Inadequate government funding is blamed, Roy Romanow (NDP Premier of Saskatchewan) is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

    The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star news paper blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root
    causes of despair arising from social inequity.

    The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders,
    praised by the government for enriching Canada's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community.

    THE END :lol:
     
  2. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    ....and the sad part is this dosnt sound so much different from something that would happen here in the US with our gooberment and press. :cry:
     
  3. CBMS

    CBMS Looking for a safe place

    Muahaha, Look at what I found!
    If it weren't so true it might actually be funny...
    Let some of our new Northern Friends read this again!
     
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