1. The Topic of the Month for October is "Make this the Perfect Bugout Location". Please join the discussion in the TOTM forum.

The blonde joke to end all blonde jokes!

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Conagher, May 26, 2007.

  1. Conagher

    Conagher Dark Custom Rider Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her
    Little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman
    Police officer who was also a blonde.

    The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.

    She dug through her purse and was getting progressively
    more agitated.

    What does it look like?" the driver finally asked.

    The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on

    The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it
    And handed it to the policewoman.

    "Here it is," she said.

    The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back

    "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop ."
    Sapper John likes this.
  2. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Wrong![fnny] That don't end em...just starts em rolling!
    Blond yells across the river at her identical twin "Sis! How do I get to the other side of the river?"
    Sister shouts back, "You are on the other side of the river!"
  3. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    Don't say I didn't warn you!

    Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
    A: The blonde works in the dark!
    Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
    A: The joystick is wet.
    Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
    A: Her ankles.
    Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
    A: "Have another beer."
    Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
    A1: Thanks Guys.
    A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
    A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
    Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
    A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
    Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
    A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.
    [​IMG] Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
    A: They're both empty from the neck up.
    Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
    A: They both wriggle when you eat them.
    Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
    A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.
    Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?
    A: Wave
    Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
    A: They both have black roots.
    Q: What does a blonde owl say?
    A: What, what?
    Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
    A: A brain tumor.
    Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
    A: Two brunettes.
    Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
    A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
    Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
    A: To see what was on the other side.
    Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
    A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.
    Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
    A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.
    Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
    A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.
    Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
    A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.
    Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
    A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
    Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
    A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
    Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
    A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
    Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
    A: So she could lip read.
    Q: Why did God create blondes?
    A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
    Q: Why did God create brunettes?
    A: Neither could the blondes.
    Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
    A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
    Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
    A: To turn the blinker off.
    [​IMG] Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
    A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
    Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
    A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
    Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
    A: Because it kept falling out.
    Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
    A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
    Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
    A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
    Q: Why does it work?
    A: "Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?"
    Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
    A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
    Q: What is the blonde's favorite potato chip?
    A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).
    Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
    A: A blond doing cartwheels.
    Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
    A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.
    Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
    A: She missed the Earth!
    Q: Did you hear about the blond who had two chances to get pregnant?
    A: She blew it both times!
    Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common?
    A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.
    Q: How do you know when a blond's been in your frige?
    A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!
    Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
    A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win.
    Q: What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
    A: About 2 cans of hair spray
    Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
    A: Pick them up off the floor.
    Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
    A: The vegetable garden.
    Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
    A: One.
    Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
    A: Far-from-thinkin
    Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
    A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
    Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
    A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.
    Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
    A1: The Blonde!
    A2: The other guys waiting their turn.
    Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'?
    A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.'
    Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
    A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
    Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
    A: Spot.
    Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group?
    A: Air Supply.
    Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
    A: A blond electrician.
    Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
    A: So brunettes can remember them.
    Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
    A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
    Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
    A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
    Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
    A: Perri-air
    Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
    A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
    Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
    A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
    Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
    A: The Air Pump!
    Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
    A: Because she got an F in sex.
    Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
    A: She missed.
    Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
    A: They can't keep their calves together!
    Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
    A: After a dye job.
    Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
    A: Humpme Dumpme.
    Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
    A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"
    A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
    Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
    A: Because she blows the horn!
    [​IMG] Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
    A: Because everybody gets a turn.
    Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
    A: Because she's been laid all over the country.
    Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
    A: She kept having affairs with men!
    Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
    A: She picks up her purse and goes home.
    Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
    A: Grade 4.
    Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
    A: 144 blondes.
    Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
    A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
    Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
    A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
    Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
    A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
    Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?
    A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.
    Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
    A: They both drip when they're ****ed.
    Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
    A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!
    Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
    A: It swells at night.
    Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
    A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"
    Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
    A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
    Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
    A: Locking the car door.
    Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
    A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
    Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
    A: She moved.
    Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
    A: A blonde parade.
    Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
    A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
    A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
  4. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member


    A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
    After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
    She says, "What's the story?"
    He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."
    She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
    > > ----------------------------------------
    A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely
    if he could see her license.
    She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
    Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to
    show it to you!"
    > > --------------------------
    A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right
    breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are
    you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
    She says, "Why, officer?"
    "Because your breast is hanging out." He says.
    She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus

    > > -------------------------------------------
    There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
    another blonde on the opposite bank.
    "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
    The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
    back, "You ARE on the other side."

    > > -------------------------------------
    A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
    Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind
    the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his
    flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned
    on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
    "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

    > > ---------------------------------------
    A Russian, an American, and a British Blonde were talking one day.
    The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!"
    The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
    The British Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the
    The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
    heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said
    the Russian.
    To which the British Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
    We're going at night!"

    > > ------------------------------------
    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
    rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
    She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

    > > -------------------------------------
    The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists
    of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall,
    stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of
    inspiration takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet:
    Yes, for Heads, and
    No, for Tails.
    Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class
    is still sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen
    desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating.
    The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.
    "I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my

    > > -------------------------------------
    There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she
    decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local
    park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this
    I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind
    the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde
    She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go
    straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the
    $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had
    Inside the bag was the following note...
    "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to
  5. Seacowboys

    Seacowboys Senior Member Founding Member

    <center> More Blonde Jokes
    Q - Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
    A - She was trying to make up her mind.

    Q - Why did the blonde move out of her house?
    A - She heard that 90 percent of all crimes happen around the home.

    Q - What do you call a freezer full of blondes?
    A - Frosted flakes.

    Q - Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed with her?
    A - She wanted to see how long she slept.

    Q - What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
    A - "Look, they're not so smart...they spelled MACY's wrong!:

    Q - Why can't blondes take coffee breaks at work?
    A - They're too hard to retrain.

    Q - What do you call nine blondes standing in a circle?
    A - A dope ring.

    Q - Why can't blondes be pharmacists?
    A - Because they can't fit the bottle into the typewriter.

    Q - How do you know if a blonde has been using your computer?
    A - There is 'White-Out' on the monitor!

    Q - What do you call a smart blonde?
    A - A golden retriever.

    Q - What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean?
    A - An air pocket.

    Q - A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in the third grade.
    Which one is the biggest?
    A - The blonde.
    Q - Why?
    A - Because she's 18 years old.

    Q - What do you call a basement full of blondes?
    A - A "whine" cellar.

    Q - Why do blondes have TGIF printed on their shoes?
    A = It stands for "Toes Go In First."

    Q - Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
    A - It took her months to figure out that she could play it at night.

    <center>[IMG]http://my.homewithgod.com/mkcathy/humor/mnmdance.gif[/IMG] [COLOR=#20b2aa] She was so blonde that if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
    She was so blonde that she thought a quarterback was a refund.
    She was so blonde that she tripped over the cordless phone. [/COLOR]

    </center> [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue] Q - What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
    A - Pregnant with twins. [/COLOR][/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red] Q - Why can't blondes dial 911?
    A - They can't find the eleven on the phone. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple] Q - Why do blonde nurses bring red magic markers to work?
    A - In case they have to draw blood. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green] Q - Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid?
    A - Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold] Q - Why was the blonde reviewing the ABCs?
    A - She was studying for a multiple choice test. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue] Q - Why do blondes put rulers on their foreheads?
    A - They want to measure their intelligence. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red] Q - Why do blondes stand under light bulbs?
    A - It's the closest they'll come to a bright idea. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]

    <center>[COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][IMG]http://my.homewithgod.com/mkcathy/humor/blondegirl.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://my.homewithgod.com/mkcathy/humor/blondegirl.gif[/IMG] [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493] Did you hear about the two blondes that were found
    frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?


    </center> [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493]
    [COLOR=green] One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it." [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green]Her friend asks, "What is it a puzzle of?" [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green]The blonde says, "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger." [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green]The blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the puzzle pieces spread all over the table. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green]He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. He then turns to her and says, "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger. Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box." [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]

    <center>[COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][IMG]http://my.homewithgod.com/mkcathy/humor/mnmdance.gif[/IMG][IMG]http://my.homewithgod.com/mkcathy/humor/mnmdance.gif[/IMG][IMG]http://my.homewithgod.com/mkcathy/humor/mnmdance.gif[/IMG] [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    </center> [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][COLOR=orange] A Judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR] [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][COLOR=orange]She replied, "About 4 acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][COLOR=orange]"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][COLOR=orange]"It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][COLOR=orange]"I mean what are your relations like," he continued. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][COLOR=orange]"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town and so do my husbands parents." [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][COLOR=orange]The Judge responded, "Do you have a real grudge?" [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][COLOR=orange]"No," she said, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one." [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][COLOR=orange]"Please," he tried again, "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?" [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][COLOR=orange]"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes." [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][COLOR=orange]"Ma'am does you husband ever beat you up?" [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][COLOR=orange]"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do." [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][COLOR=orange]Finally in frustration the Judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?" [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=#20b2aa][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=purple][COLOR=green][COLOR=gold][COLOR=blue][COLOR=red][COLOR=#ff1493][COLOR=green][COLOR=orange]"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied, "I never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me." [/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]
  6. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

  7. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I'm not sure whether to post Male jokes...Brunette jokes....or to just let it go and remember there is a reason y'all make so many blonde jokes..

    I know Tracy will know they're jokes....just didn't want to post the brunette ones...hmmmm......



  8. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    The heck with it..

    Q. What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
    A. A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

    Q. What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
    A. Brown-bagging it.

    Q. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
    A. No one else wants it.

    Q. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
    A. Invisible.

    Q. What's a brunette's mating call?
    A. "Has the blonde left yet? "

    Q. Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
    A. The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.

    Q. Why is brunette considered an evil color?
    A. When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?

    Q. What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
    A. The invitation

    Q. What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
    A. A hostage

    Q. Who makes bras for brunettes?
    A. Fisher-Price

    Q. Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
    A. It matches their moustache.
  9. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    I just KNEW that temptation would get you --- [rofllmao]
  10. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Yeah....well , some of y'all know me better than others.... [CRC]


    Up next...

    The Male jokes....
  11. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Not sure I can post them...

    They're really , really , REALLY bad....

    but funny...

    but since y'all are mostly guys...well...and guys with "toys" ...I may not want to post them....



    we'll see.....
  12. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    [LMAO] Fisher Price :lol:
    A very flat-chested Blond finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra"? The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart.

    Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this"?

    The lady looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil"?

    Sapper John likes this.
  13. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I thought you were my friend......


  14. BigUglyOne

    BigUglyOne Monkey+++ Founding Member


    I dated that girl [LMAO][LMAO][LMAO]
survivalmonkey SSL seal        survivalmonkey.com warrant canary