The Discovery of the Heaviest Element

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by ghostrider, Sep 26, 2005.


  1. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    The Discovery of the Heaviest Element



    A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element known to science.

    The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

    These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of particles called peons.

    Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

    A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

    Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

    In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

    This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

    This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium -an element which radiates just as much energy as the Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
     
  2. Valkman

    Valkman Knifemaker Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Hmm, I thought this would have to do with women's butts!

    :lol: [dancindevil] [smsh] [own2]
     
  3. ghrit

    ghrit Ambulatory anachronism Administrator Founding Member

    Now THAT is funny. (Also apt to draw lightning, and maybe a few barbs.) [peep]
     
  4. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    [nono]
     
  5. Valkman

    Valkman Knifemaker Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

  6. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Me or da valkman?
     
  7. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member


    da valkman....
     
  8. Valkman

    Valkman Knifemaker Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Oh I knew that... [peep]
     
  9. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Smart man...better stay in that chimney a little while longer...or be very careful when stepping out.. [raspberry]
     
  10. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    Valkman, after being bombarded by the gamma ray gaze of Cathode Ray Connie, can now pop popcorn without a microwave, simply by holding it in his hand, and can save big bucks on flashlight batteries because he now glows in the dark.
     
  11. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Just think how handy he'll be to have around on Halloween! :lol: :lol:
     
  12. ghostrider

    ghostrider Resident Poltergeist Founding Member

    [ROFL]
     
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