The Ramblings of an Old Warrior

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by RightHand, Nov 1, 2005.

  1. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    The Ramblings of an Old Warrior

    In the past week, there has been a little tension in the Inferno related to what was appropriate and not appropriate to post. I think we’ve reached a consensus and are all ready to move on and tackle whatever hurdle comes next because, trust me, we will encounter other bumps in the road. Handling these dilemmas will challenge our maturity but they will also offer each of us an opportunity to learn a little more about debating a point without demeaning those with opposing viewpoints.

    For the most part, I have remained publicly silent throughout the fray although I certainly have distinct feelings on the subject.

    But this isn't about feelings regarding the appropriateness of certain posts.

    Now I’m going to drop the bombshell on you all. I’m what, for many of you, is your worst nightmare - a feminist. I was a feminist before it had a name and a feminist after it became a label. I represent every girl who was told she “couldn’t” take shop in high school because of her gender, who was “discouraged” from studying engineering in college because of her gender, who was told my her math professor that she should be home taking care of babies, who needed her husband’s signature to get a business loan for her own business, who’s opinions were dismissed because she was female, who had customers ask to speak to one of the salesmen because it never crossed their minds that a woman knew more about a typically male business than any of the men in the company.

    So, the cat's out of the bag. I'm a feminist. What does that mean? Well, for me, it means being seen as a human being first and foremost. I love being a woman, have never wanted to be a man, I don't want to compete with you strictly because of gender but in spite of it and in competitive arenas only. I want my opinions to be evaluated on the basis of their intellect and not dismissed because my body grew breasts at puberty. If you open the door for me, I'll say thank you and expect the same from you when I open the door for you. I don't expect you to defer to me because I am female because I won't defer to you strictly because you are male. I will gladly accept your help when my old body isn't strong enough to do something myself but I'll put my full effort into taking care of myself before asking for help. I'm not offended by images of naked women, just a little jealous of their youth and beauty because they are always young and beautiful. Heck, at times, I like to see images of good looking guys (that is God's plan after all). The difference is, I like the guys a little older than I did when I was in my 20's. I like to see a little character in their faces, a little living on their bodies, and a little humor in their eyes. I like to see hands that have know hard work and have a little dirt under the nails to prove it. I can only hope that men value the same in me. You'll have to forgive me if I get a little testy when I am reminded that most often it isn't so.

    I believe that when families decide to have a child, they should do their best to see that either the mother or father will be there to raise that child and avoid routine daycare whenever possible. I think that caring for our children is more important than that second car or the new dining room set. In my opinion, a big house and lots of 'toys' don't equal quality of life when raising a child.

    I'm a feminist, a conservative, a woman of a certain age with gray hair and eyes that don't see as well as they used to and I can still laugh at myself for all that I am and all that I'm not.

    But don't let any of that fool you. I am an old warrior who will continue to fight, until my life is over, so that my daughter, my granddaughters, and your daughters, and wives, and sisters, and female friends have the opportunity to prove themselves in this world.

    When you attribute our responses strictly to our hormones, you are saying that you value what we look like, particularly when we are naked, but not what we think or what we feel. I admit that our hormones do strange things to us, the same as your hormones do to you. It'd all part of this glorious adventure known as life.

    And when the women in your life come home and tell you they have decided to be an engineer, or a soldier or a sailor, or a ship's captain, or a police officer, or a fireman, a hairdresser, a fashion designer, a business woman, or a homemaker and a mother, look around for old warriors like me and thank them for never giving up.

  2. Quigley_Sharps

    Quigley_Sharps The Badministrator Administrator Founding Member

    I am all for it, a woman being what she want’s to be. And exact equal or more doesn’t threaten me.
    My wife came home one day and said “ I want to become a Dentist”
    Our daughter was 5 at the time, I said “Ok” without a second thought.
    Here we are 6 years later, she almost done with school!!!!
    These 6 years of lean money times were and are the best time of my life with my two ladies of the house.
    Thanks for being here Right Hand I do appreciate the way you are.
    Cephus and hank2222 like this.
  3. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Hooray for Quigley one of the "real" men in this world. [beer]
    hank2222 likes this.
  4. TLynn

    TLynn Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    RightHand, I've always known that about you. One of the many things I like about you. You said it oh so well. I sincerely hope others read and listen. I have my doubts but that's because of life's experience. I still commend you for taking the time to put it down on paper (or the internet in this case).

    Quigley...good for you!!! And congrats to your wife on her soon to be new career.
  5. ghrit

    ghrit Bad company Administrator Founding Member

    RH - I KNEW I should have stopped on the way down here.

    Quig - Now, your BO gear must include small tools. What an opportunity for barter.

    All - Sorry 'bout the hijack. Back to [troll] ing.
  6. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    ghrit, you're welcome anytime.
  7. Clyde

    Clyde Jet Set Tourer Administrator Founding Member

    I think feminism is great. I treat all women the same.

    Now get me a beer from the fridge! [whistle2]
  8. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    right away master :D
  9. Valkman

    Valkman Knifemaker Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    When I met my wife she was running a property management company and doing the books for 20 different companies. In fact her ex couldn't handle the fact that she is smart - he goes for the young dumb blond types. While those are a dime a dozen here, I'll take the smart one! Heck, she runs everything around here and that's fine with me.

    As for old warriors, well I may not be the fighter I was 25 years ago but them youngun's better bring a lunch! :D
  10. melbo

    melbo Hunter Gatherer Administrator Founding Member

    Thanks RH.

    I guess this means you'll be moving on then?
    [beat] :D j/k

    My wife was a successful business woman before we met. She was a Successful Realtor until we decided to start for the new addition to the family. I like a strong and determined female around because it allows us to split the household workload a little better.

    I also understand the female concerns over the posting of pictures on the site. I hope it has been dealt with.

    Thank You.

  11. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Not on your life b::

    and Yes, I agree that we have all reached a consensus on photos. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm on my way out the door to see a Chip 'n Dale Show. [dancindevil]
    Motomom34 likes this.
  12. monkeyman

    monkeyman Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    [beer] Like the strong women here too, and glad youre around. I do have to admit though that I still cringe at the term feminest, have just run into to many who think its a form of entitlement. Prior to moreing here I had my own tree company, I have to say that one of the best workers I had while running my business (and this was hard physical labor) was a female and she was payed the same as the best guy that ever worked for me, unfortinatly I also had to deal with a couple of females who wanted to work for me and thought that they should get paid the same as guys that worked for me in spite of the fact that they were not capable of the same work, I alwayse based pay on how much work I had to come behind a person and do myself. So like I say, I like strong women and figure so long as the particular woman (same as a man) is capable of the task they should have the option and oprotunity, but yup, the term 'feminest' still makes me cringe.
  13. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Yup - that's what gives us a bad name and I don't blame you for cringing. I would too. Maybe feminist isn't the right word for it anymore but I'm a creature of habit and really don't know how else to describe it.

    I think most of the guys here appreciate strong women (it goes along with the survival mindset), that's one of the reasons I like it here
    Brokor and Capt. Tyree like this.
  14. CRC

    CRC Survivor of Tidal Waves | RIP 7-24-2015 Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I have to say ..I am not sure what I am..I am a Woman. A Woman that has borne children..gotten a fine education. Worked with all women..and worked with all men.
    One who believes that a Woman can do anything she wants..and deserves equal pay and equal rights for that. One that believes we do not demean other women, and to stand up for others when it is happening to them.
    One who likes character...characters...and has some of both in her. One who raised her daughter on her own and am very proud of the young lady she is today.

    I was raised by a woman. One Woman. My Grandmother. Who left her farm home in 1918 at the age of 17 to go to the city , by herself , to get an education.Yes, a primarily female occupation.She went to Nursing School..and 6 months after graduation? She was head OR nurse. And as she used to say "You don't get that for buttons, buster!"

    She told me that if I watched, listened and learned, I would walk with dignity and integrity.
    She taught me to always be myself. Make time for being serious. Make time for laughter. Make time for total silliness. She taught me in order to have friends, I have to be a friend. She taught me to speak the truth and I would never have to back up and make up another lie to cover the first one up.

    She went back to school in her 50's and got her Masters Degree. She told me the only thing that would hold me back in life is the limitations I put on myself. She taught me that in a marriage, it is a partnership..with equal footing from both partners. She ran my grandfathers business and worked full time at the hospital for years after he died.

    My only Aunt, raised 9 children after her divorce, by herself. She started the Date Rape Program at Chapel Hill and UNC. Amazing woman. All 9 of her children have College Degree's and are good people.

    These are the 2 women who made the greatest impact in my upbringing..and raised me.

    I have never called myself a feminist..I am still not sure about the term, for ME..I have many friends that use that term..and it is fine. I remember the late 60's and the 70's and all the "times they are a changin'" and being thrilled that finally...we were coming in to our own....

    I , like you, like to be treated with respect. I like my doors opened..but I can do it for myself , or a man, just as easily. I have sent men flowers..and I have bought gun parts...

    Perhaps I am just a humanist? I think what you said..."Strong Women" describes it best RH...Yes....We are.

    We can live alone, and make it..Change the oil in my car..Rotate the tires..and so many other things...
    And yes..we did pave the way for a lot of the younger women today...

    But first and foremost..for me the second word, Woman. I am a Woman. And damn glad to be one. I like it. I like being a Woman. I can shoot with the guys..or with the girls..I can cook...or have someone cook for me..I can be comfortable in jeans....but like to dress up sometimes..and be a girl...

    And yes, I live alone...but that doesn't mean it will always be so...and if it happens? Bet your bottom dollar it will be with a "character" who has character.....

    Like you..I will continue to take care of myself..walk with dignity and integrity..Ask for help when I need it...Give help when and where I can......

    and Share the Laughter. It is what gets me through most days. My friends , laughter , and smiles.
    Thank you for the wondeful thoughts you put down for us....Very much appreciated...

    Now....want to share those tickets to the Chippendales????? I've never been. :D
    Motomom34 likes this.
  15. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    I enjoyed you story CRC. Thanks for sharing.

    As far as we know, TLynn, Tracy, you and I are the only females at SM right now. Hopefully, more will decide to join our community of strong men and women. It gets better all the time!
  16. TLynn

    TLynn Monkey+++ Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

    Truthfully, only you, Tracy and CRC at the moment are the females posting here...comes a time when things get a bit much. When the nightmares become the waking it's time to take a walkabout for a bit. Didn't think after this many years that could happen again.

    Proved myself wrong I did...

    Not going to allow it to go any further...never cared for the nightmares before, don't care for them this time...liked it better when they were under control. See you again when the hauntings are not so bad...
  17. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    Thank you, RightHand, for having the courage to be who you are, the strength to recognize it and the tenacity to become what you wanted to be! I am proud to be associated with such a fantastic group of strong women here.

    Like MM, I cringe at the term "feminist". For me; it has connotations of not-so-strong women, who believe that the world should somehow change, or make allowances, for them. Call me old-fashioned, but I like fireMEN, policeMEN, etc. Don't get me wrong though; there are women that can do a man's job - it's just that they are not as prevalent as the women who think that they can do a man's job. IMO; It is those who can't that give warriors like you a bad name.

    I make no concessions for gender; tell me that you can do a job and I expect that you can. I respect those who can do what they say. Expect special treatment or "soft" work for a hard day's pay and you'll be sorely disappointed when working for me, be you male or female. I will work side-by-side with a man and will admit to my limitations when applicable. There's no such thing as a job too hard and I don't recall ever getting too dirty, as every thing's washable. No matter what job I'm called to do; I'll do it as best I can and always, always remain a lady.

    I retired from the construction world to be a full-time Mom; the hardest job I've ever taken on, yet worth every second of my life. I don't get a weekly envelope, but receive my pay every day. I no longer have a great medical plan; but the perks I receive now far outweigh any benefit package that I've ever had!

    Thank you, again, RH. For if it weren't for ladies like you, who weren't afraid to be warriors, I wouldn't have been able to achieve success in my previous field, let alone been afforded the chance to prove myself therein. I appreciate and admire your strength, your courage, your tenacity and hope that in my journey, I have made you and your fellow warriors proud.
    Capt. Tyree likes this.
  18. RightHand

    RightHand Been There, Done That RIP 4/15/21 Moderator Moderator Emeritus Founding Member

  19. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    A timeless and very relevant post if there ever was one. Thanks for the bump and the mental reminder. I tip my hat to all you ladies, and thank you for all you do and your many accomplishments.
    BTW, just yesterday I discussed the "post SHTF gender role thread" with a very close friend and fellow prepper. He stated flatly that post SHTF, there was no way he would take orders from a woman. It evolved into an argument, and ended with me saying, "well everyone has a right to their own opinion, but it just so happens, I don't agree with yours, and I feel your's is a reflection of your limited life experiences. Your loss, not mine."
    Motomom34 likes this.
  20. UGRev

    UGRev Get on with it!

    Well damn.. this is obviously a tangent argument to my genders post. Ok, here's the deal. I wanted to see personalities. I wanted to gather information on what I am up against out there. Do I sit with survivalists? preppers? general pop? what make-up do I want of personality mixes? gender ratio? and a bunch of other parameters that are more finely grained.

    So I sat and tried to figure out just what I could do/say to get people to talk. I couldn't think of anything better to equate dropping an ice-block into boiling oil than "gender" roles. It worked and with the exception of a few people that I knew would just watch with some pop-corn (stars with b and ends with rokor), I received an eye-opener and you've all caused me to make a major paradigm shift in my thoughts on who I would group with.

    For the record. My wife makes more than me. Has her own business with 2 other partners and is a pretty tough cookie. I could care less about that and I support her in all she does. But I do not let her off the hook for being a mother and wife.

    Bottom line is you guys/gals made me re-think and now I have to deal with some cognitive dissonances. I hate you and thank you for this at the same And I TRULY didn't mean anyone any harm.
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